Wouter van Noort’s Reviews > Moab Is My Washpot > Status Update
Wouter van Noort
is 12% done
The sound of Roger and Stephen Fry singing, could cause people to stab themselves in the throat with sharpened pencils, jump from high windows, claw out their own inner ears, electrocute their genitals, put on a Jim Reeves record, throw themselves cackling hysterically into the path of moving buses anything, anything to take away the pain.
— Nov 16, 2025 02:44PM
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Wouter’s Previous Updates
Wouter van Noort
is 46% done
I shall never forget the red mist that descended over me when I once saw youths throwing stones at some ducks in a park in King's Lynn. I started roaring the kind of meaningless obscenities that only pure fury can put into the mind. "You shit spike wank turdy bastardheads... how do you fucking like it, you tossing tossers!" that kind of thing.
— 43 minutes ago
Wouter van Noort
is 40% done
I might use long words from time to time and talk rapidly or display any number of other silly donnish affectations, but if this gives the impression that I might admire a similar manner or nature in others, then it makes me just want to go "bibbly-bobbly-bubbly-snibbly-wib-wib-floppit" for the rest of my life.
— 5 hours, 11 min ago
Wouter van Noort
is 34% done
Hugh Laurie can sing splendidly, and play any musical instrument you throw at him, the son of a son of a son of a son of a son of a bitch.
— 8 hours, 38 min ago
Wouter van Noort
is 28% done
I can play... I mean, as an effort of will I can sit down and learn a piece at the piano and reproduce it, so that those who hear will not necessarily move away with their hands clutched to their mouths, vomit leaking through fingers, blood dripping from ears.
— 19 hours, 47 min ago
Wouter van Noort
is 23% done
The Stephen Fry who shouted "Miss, Miss!" and giggled with the girls by the hopscotch court has died and in his place stands Fry, Fry, S. J., Young Fry, Fry Minor, Fry the Younger, Fry Secundus, Fry Junior or, worst of all, Small Fry.
— Nov 17, 2025 10:58AM
Wouter van Noort
is 17% done
In those days, when you were cut off you would rattle the cradle and shout, "Operator! Operator!" Older people still do it. They don't know that it's as fruitless as pulling at a servant's bell or asking for the Left Luggage office. They don't know that in the world today...
THERE'S NO ONE THERE!
— Nov 17, 2025 03:48AM
THERE'S NO ONE THERE!
Wouter van Noort
is 6% done
"Don't worry," I said again. "I'll look after you. Everything will be fine."
I'll look after you. The pleasure of saying those words, the warm wet sea of pleasure. Quite extraordinary. A little pet all to myself.
— Nov 16, 2025 09:02AM
I'll look after you. The pleasure of saying those words, the warm wet sea of pleasure. Quite extraordinary. A little pet all to myself.
