Allison boozy bookworm’s Reviews > Karen: A Brother Remembers > Status Update

Slow going…stream of consciousness narrative. Takes a good minute to absorb but very engaging.

If it were possible, I would have given myself in place of Karen. At least, I think I would have. If it were possible. If it were possible Karen would call me on a weekend and our kids would visit. We would celebrate birthdays and graduations and see each other grow old.”

It took twenty years to forgive myself. Well, that is not exactly true, either—to almost forgive myself. If it had been possible, I would have killed them. I would still kill them, if it were possible.”

I wasn’t mad at the speakers at her funeral, I was mad at me. I should have stopped them even if I couldn’t stop them. Her killers. I should have killed them. Karen was not to be hurt…not on my watch.”

Her death belongs to her: the consequence belongs to me and to the men who killed her. And to me because I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t stop them. That was my issue with it all and I felt like I failed her. I felt I should have stopped it. I felt I abandoned her. None of this was logical. It was just true.”

From page 16: “This had been the dynamic of our childhood together. I looked after my little sister. There was no one closer to me. Mess with her, you were messing with me!”

“It was Karen who finally insisted our family start saying we loved each other out loud. She was the voice of it, the keeper of love and guardian of the sacred in our family. And I was her protector, her big brother.”

From page 16: “…the words Karen deserved at her funeral were not spoken. They did not touch how funny she was and how brave she had been in life. They did not hint at the depth of love she had achieved or how much we loved her. She was the love of my life. A constant.“

From page 12: “ Hyperbole for most… Truth for me. If you care to continue, I will show you. The “ME” of it will do its best to honor her completely with insights invocations, instances when Karen’s story is my story and those when it is not.”