xenia’s Reviews > Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy > Status Update
xenia
is 50% done
This is a cool introduction to polyamory, trauma, and anarchism, but it isn't as radical as it positions itself to be. Supposedly, honesty, collaboration, and authenticity are post-monogamous principles that fight against white supremacy. Uhh, these are things couples counselors have been pushing to monogamous white middle-class people for half a century. It's good relationship advice, but c'mon babe 🤷♀️
— Nov 25, 2025 04:01PM
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xenia’s Previous Updates
xenia
is 90% done
Kinda hate their definition of white supremacy as "one true way of doing things, perfectionism, and fear of conflict". I was raised by Chinese parents and these constraints were just as present. I know plenty of other Asian friends who experienced similar pressures. There're too many blanket definitions like this throughout the book, that are way too general and (dare I say) white-centric.
— Nov 27, 2025 06:05PM
xenia
is 75% done
A lot of this book has been basic advice about communication, consent, collaboration across four modes of relating (emotional, social, practical, erotic). Not necessarily bad, but more relevant to those who've only just started undoing their trauma (borderline, avoidant, narcissistic). One cool concept is embodied consent. In ordinary consent, one may say yes, even as the body screams no. Fear is there mind killer~
— Nov 27, 2025 11:39AM
