Megan’s Reviews > Fall with Me > Status Update

This is a fucking slogfest to get through but if I read 70 pages a day I can get it done by the end of next week. Writing these lil updates is the only thing keeping me going with it at this point, lmao.

I just read one of the worst, most wordy sex scenes in the history of smut. She can't seem to pick a theme and stick to it. It's all over the place. I just don't get the dynamic between these two? Jaxon swears blind he 'doesn't have a crush' and that he 'hates Lennon' and 'doesn't want to date her,' but then proceeds to a.) let her live in his flat while hers is flooded, b.) gets rid of every item of food in said flat that has remote traces of nuts, c.) fucks her all the time, d.) saved her from choking to death on a nut, e.) continually flirts with her and tries to get her to sleep with him, f.) HAND WRITES her an instruction manual for how to use his fancy coffee machine, g.) doesn't get mad when she redecorates his entire flat for no reason, h.) gets inexplicably jealous when another guy's name is brought up, her ex is mentioned, and other guys flirt with her in the bar after their hockey games, and i.) buys her her favourite flowers for Valentine's Day.

And the sex. Oh, dear GOD, the sex. If I have to read, 'please, make my pussy remember the shape of your cock!' or 'I'll make your pussy remember the shape of my cock,' and every possible iteration of that ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, I'm gonna bleach my eyes, for real. The author seems to have given up on any attempt of making Jaxon have a lovemaking preference and/or something he's most known for in bed, like dirty talk, daddy domming, eating, etc. He just does everything apparently and he does it all really well. If the author is trying to make me believe Jaxon is the final boss of sex then she's overdoing it, lmao. The author, Jaxon AND Magic Mike can take a fucking hike.

I'm all for women in these books owning their sex lives and their independence and refusing to be shamed for enjoying sex. But Lennon takes it to the extreme. Listen, I love me a good smut book. I love me some R34 fanart and fanfic. I love sex with my partner too; it's fun, intimate, therapeutic. What I DON'T do, however, is talk about it all the fucking time with EVERYONE who is listening within a 5 mile radius (and, no, I'm not joking because Lennon's cousin literally talks about Lennon getting dicked down by a hockey player IN FRONT OF HER PARENTS and nobody bats an eye?? also in front of strangers because she had barely met those girls for two seconds and they were swapping slob stories like it was free real estate) nor do I have smutty audiobooks in my airpods near 24/7. Nor do I think about it 24/7. I mean, that one's close, sure, but other things do exist in my life besides 'ooh, when am I next gonna get fucked?' And, yeah, alright, I'm in a group chat with my girl besties and we thirst, but we're nothing like Lennon. The difference is, we're sensible and, dare I say, NORMAL in comparison? Lennon is a fucking MESS. It's constant. She has a dragon dildo and a 'clit sucker' that she's constantly talking about in every chapter or so. The words cunt, cock, pussy and fuck are mentioned on almost every page. And yeah, listen, I love the usage of these words; it's how you can tell most of the time if a book's gonna be good if the author uses 'em, but this is overkill. It's too much. EVEN FOR ME. And that is saying something. I've been reading this shit since I was 11, thereabouts. THIS IS TOO MUCH. AND IT'S DONE BADLY.

Let's move on.

Jaxon is like Carter from Consider Me (the first book in this godawful series) but on absolute crack. I'm coming up to Ireland's birthday chapter which I read on someone else's review on here is the most cringeworthy thing they've ever read which, honestly, I can believe. I think Carter and Olivia singlehandedly ruined this entire series before it even began lmao and you can tell who the author's favourite characters are (Carter and Olivia, and potentially Cara because she's always going on about how 'scary' and 'badass' and 'intimidating' Cara is when we've seen literally nothing of the sort from her yet.) I mean, Emmett barely gets two words per book and there's 510 pages here. In comparison to everybody else, obviously. Of course he gets more than 2 words, I'm not stupid. Jennie and Rosie are the other two who get shafted a lot. Not that I mind. Jennie and Rosie were alright in their books, and I use that term loosely, but now they've all been absorbed into the shitstorm tornado that is Carter, Olivia and Cara's influence for this book, and everybody is infuriating and suddenly has the mental capacity of a toddler.

It genuinely feels like the author gave up trying. I'm only reading this to read it and be done with this series and ESPECIALLY this fucking author. Go back to school or something. Or, READ some ACTUALLY GOOD SMUT BOOKS. Elsie Silver, for me, is the queen of smut. Ana Huang isn't bad but she's had more stinkers than hits, in my opinion.

ANYWAY, pray for my sanity going forward.

Oh, and don't think I haven't seen the author TRYING to sprinkle in some actual plot by giving Jaxon a backstory, or at least attempting to, by having a photo of a guy he used to play hockey with on his bookshelf when they were young. I'm guessing he died from the way Jaxon goes all moody whenever the picture is mentioned or his friend is brought up. And I'm also guessing he died from anaphylactic shock considering he started freaking out when it happened to Lennon. What are the odds?

So, this guy has serious abandonment issues (cos he's terrified that the hockey guys are gonna get bored of him and forget about him when he 'inevitably gets signed somewhere else' so doesn't want to let himself get too close to them all and actually relax and have fun and be friends) and a god complex (because he genuinely thinks he's the hottest, most handsome man who can do no wrong and a woman should be grateful if he gives her the time of day. Pretty sure he said something along those lines in one of his chapter POVs anyway.) He's also arrogant af. I hate Jaxon and Lennon. So I suppose, really, they deserve each other don't they, lmao.