Maya’s Reviews > Dracula > Status Update

Actually just lol’d, why can’t they come up with a single cohesive plan this is life or death boys

My eyes glaze over when any sort of positioning in battle is mentioned bc my mind absolutely cannot conjure that image I’m so sorry

“The advice is good!” Words that shouldn’t be uttered by any man in this story

Arthur and Quincey join the fray of gay pairings

There isn’t a single man with a braincell in this entire book it’s actually astonishing. Dracula is not sneaky AT ALL and every man is like hm odd ugly old fellow, lol moving on

Jonathan the fool is back and foolish as ever

Van helsing is insane. Does not cushion the blow at all, just straight up goes hey I’m pretty sure ur dead fiancé might actually be a vampire can I cut her head off? And then is like hey don’t get mad at me I’m trying to protect you when people say he’s an asshole

This def had them gagged in the 19th century

Everyone say sorry to Jonathan for calling him pathetic when all along he’s just been through something scary (it’s me I’m everyone but also he’s dumb as a brick)

“Hey don’t freak out or anything but I wanna destroy this corpse”