Loretta Larson’s Reviews > Borderline Personality Disorder: A Practical Guide to Recovery, Self-Compassion, and Emotional Stability for Overcoming BPD > Status Update

“Reframing Intensity as Sensitivity
​● ​Intense fear of abandonment → shows how much you value connection.
​● ​Strong emotional reactions → proof that you experience life vividly.
​● ​Shifts in self-image → a sign of searching, not failure.”

“Perhaps the most damaging belief you may carry is that you are broken beyond repair. BPD can make you feel like a shattered mirror — too many pieces to ever put back together. But what if those pieces are not brokenness, but evidence of how deeply you feel and how much you’ve endured?”

“Most people with BPD experienced environments where emotions were not validated. Perhaps you were told as a child you were “too sensitive.” Perhaps your feelings were dismissed or mocked. Over time, you learned that the safest way to cope was to either silence your feelings or let them explode. This is not brokenness. It is adaptation.”

“BPD creates a storm of emotions that can feel impossible for others to understand. While someone else may brush off a casual comment, you might feel pierced to the core. Where others feel mild worry, you might experience intense fear of abandonment. This depth of feeling is not weakness. It is sensitivity. Yet in a world that rarely values emotional intensity, it can leave you feeling alien.”

“One of the heaviest burdens of BPD is the feeling of isolation. People who live with it often believe they are different from everyone else, too “damaged” to fit in, or too much for anyone to handle. This isolation is not only painful but dangerous, because it reinforces the false belief that you must suffer in silence.”

“Have you ever felt like your emotions take over so completely that you lose control of what you say or do, even though you never meant to hurt anyone? Do you sometimes look in the mirror and feel like a stranger to yourself, unsure of who you really are or what you truly want? Have you ever been terrified of losing someone you love, to the point that you cling tightly one moment and push them away the next?”

“How to Track Patterns ​
1. ​Journaling: Write down emotional episodes. Note the trigger, emotion, behavior, and aftermath. ​
2. ​Color Coding: Assign colors to emotions (red for anger, blue for sadness, etc.). Over weeks, notice which colors dominate. ​
3. ​Feedback from Others: Ask trusted people to gently point out when a pattern appears.”

“Common Emotional Patterns ​● ​Fear of abandonment → Anger or desperation → Guilt afterward ​● ​Criticism → Shame → Withdrawal → Self-blame ​● ​Conflict → Intense outburst → Regret → Apology → Fear of another conflict These loops often repeat because they remain unconscious. By shining light on them, you begin to create choice.”