Lodestarwytch’s Reviews > The Gift of Not Belonging: How Outsiders Thrive in a World of Joiners > Status Update

"If you were stranded alone on a desert island, would you still value everything that you value or were taught to value? Or would you realise that most of these judgements are useful and relevant only in the context of other humans?"

Loving these questions....could write a whole blog post on that one alone! 😊

"In adulthood, the desire to blend in and be accepted by the rest, the need for recognition from our peers, and the constant "negotiation of needs" required to win the affection of other group members entail a deeper level of sacrifice that most are unaware of: the progressive loss of emotional self-reliance."

....wow I really felt that part.

Hyperawareness is something I've always had. When I was diagnosed OCD it was put down as part of the problem. My hypervigilance was 'not helping me' but what Doctors failed to realise was my hyperawareness was natural - yes it had been turned up to a degree where is became a disfunction but trying to "rid" me of it never worked as it is intrinsically a part of who I am. One size fits all does not work for everyone!

I needed this book when I was 19 but at 39 it is still wanted & relevant! I can't describe the feeling but this book is revolutionary in it's approach to the aspects of psychological treatment - that everyone is bespoke & whilst labels help in the short-term & in getting emotional illnesses diagnosed & undercontrol, that is not the end of the treatment! Knowing yourself - at your core truly helps!

The Empathy chapter is highly intriguing. I find I can both connect with the "Bluetooth hive" yet don't have to and generally don't want to as an adult. I can see where I have wanted to belong in the past, or even pressured to conform as a teenager/YA.

When I do connect it is more draining than my normal level of empathy. It is a concept that, if accurate, would explain a lot about myself.