Diableza’s Reviews > Leviathan > Status Update

“Again, those fluttering butterflies sprout in my chest, but I can’t forget that they’re actually moths. Hesitantly, I bring my fingers up to his collar, feeling the leather under my skin. It’s both rough and smooth, almost like him, and a look of bliss coats his face as I touch it. “Tell me about your darkness,” I dare say, tugging lightly on his collar which causes him to moan.”

“I deposit him on the bed and rifle through my closet, tossing an old sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants at his head. He holds them in shock, eyes watering when they meet mine. Something… sweet takes a hold of me. [...] And, for some unknown reason, some fucked up sensation of losing control that overcomes me⁠— I go to the window and open the curtains.”

“Whistling. This time louder. So very clear. Piercing through my ears and shooting down to the tips of my toes. [...] Suddenly, it all becomes very real. All of those platitudes we tell ourselves are full of shit. The creaking of the floorboards are footsteps. The whistling in the house isn't from the pipes. The shadows that take the form of unimaginable demons aren’t a trick of the light. Nightmares are real.”

“I know I’m staring, but it’s just my body’s reaction. I don’t think I could control it if I tried. It’s like he’s one of those paintings on display at a museum, not because of its beauty, but because of the mystery behind it.”

“I know that tonight is going to be a restless sleep. Whether it’s nightmares or memories, something will keep me up until daybreak. Fracturing my already crippling restraint. Fight it. Fight it. Fight it. But when the darkness calls with its sweet tale, it’s hard to resist its allure.”

“Why I’m with her is a mystery, but I stay. I stay despite the somewhat verbal abuse, the knocks to my weight, and the suspicion. Maybe because I hope she can keep me in line and keep those… unfortunate thoughts [...]. I continue my knitting after texting her that I love her too. I don’t know if I believe it or not. I don’t think there’s any point in trying to fight it. [...] So why does my mind scream?”