Nancy’s Reviews > Fifty Shades Trilogy > Status Update

Don't bang the guy who carries dirty panties and used condoms in his pocket.

Drop the friend who will probably literally get you beat to death, because she will probably get you beat to death with her stupid antagonizing of the dude who carries dirty panties and used condoms around.

Don't go out for dinner and drinks with the "friend" who got drunk, tried to rape you, then blamed you for it.

"He'd probably like to beat seven shades of shit out of me."

And... Yup... There's just so much wrong with that statement.

God, this is awful.
MaryAna SueBella and her 2 other personalities are just stupid, she seems to realize that he's a horrible abuser with a rough childhood, and she is begging him to make her a slave. And the writing is just BAD. "I long to touch him. 'I want to touch you.'" "I cry out- from the slap and from his sudden assault." If you don't want us to think it's about abuse, don't use words like assault.

I feel like MaryAna SueBella is getting stupider as the book goes on...

Every time things start to get hot, she ruins it by talking like a 12 year old discovering her body for the first time.

Oh no. She's feeling things. Way. Down. *THERE* .

He's also feeling things, way down *THERE*.

This book is stupid. MaryAna SueBella is so literally stupid that sometimes it's amazing she hasn't died just from the sheer weight of being as dumb as a rock. Christian Grey and his long fingers and gray eyes is the worst kind of abuser. He pretends that it's supposed to be all consensual, however he starts ordering this idiot around from the moment he meets her. Must press on to see if it gets better or worse.

Bored now.. so far we're lame and repetitive. Holy crap! Double crap! Gray eyes gazing at me. Also, every male in the book wants to bang Ana, so far.

Okay, so, I've been both warned against this book and told I need to read it. After finding a "quote" online, I've decided that I need to read it and find out if it really is AS BAD as I've seen. I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised, but not really expecting to be. Adventure along with me, if you'd like. Here. We. GO!