Giriani Ayu Sabilla’s Reviews > Dear Broken Soul, Return Home To God > Status Update

Yes, Sabr requires learning and re-learning. The way you practised Sabr 10 years ago, when you were a little girl getting hurt by a friend in school, will look so different from the kind of Sabr you need today.

"Patience is not sitting and waiting, it is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, looking at the night and seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full." - Rumi
Patience is not to feel defeated. Patience is to slowly and gradually accept the heaviness that pain brings, but to also have that ounce of certainty in your heart that you are going to make it.

Sabr is mentioned a number of times in the Quran, a highly recommended trait in Islam; but still, Muslims these days have a difficult relationship with Sabr.

These three ayah are evidence that Allah SWT has made a promise that hardships will come. In ayah 155 of Surah Al-Baqarah, Allah SWT mentioned that we will all be tested in different forms of balaa'. The word balaa' here means tests and trials. God has even given us examples on the types of test and trial that He will examine us with fear, hunger, and loss.

So even when I have memorised the entire surah of Al-Baqarah and I'm aware of this beautiful ayah, there will be moments where my weak human self will surface.
Allah's promise to all pf us in Surah Al-Baqarah ayah number 155 till 157:
"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings (send good news) to those who are patient."

However, sometimes, our mind and heart are not able to accept the news. We know Allah SWT would never wish any harm or hurt upon us, but sometimes our weak human selves are not able to walk through life's challenges.
This also means, our faith in God's written plans goes up and down. Sometimes we are full of Tawakkul but sometimes we are desperately deprived of it.

A reminder that even though interally I could be so broken, there are still so many more good things in my life that are going just fine. The problems I am confronted with are so little compared to the many greatness that still very much exist in my life.
There are problems in life.
But there is goodness too.
Well the truth is, we have our faith. We have Islam, we have God, we have our trust in God and HIS plans.

I was able to greet and say "Assalamualaikum" to the ones who kissed my hand and hugged me. I was all right.

Random strangers were giving out sweets and arabic candies to me.
But this time, my confusion wasn't accompanied by anger and frustation. My confusion wasn't about why Allah SWT chose to give me hardships when He could give me something much better. My confusion wasn't about hoping for Allah SWT to replace my hard days with the good days.
I looked around, I was able to smile at those who smiled at me.

If you are thinking of tearing yourself down, I urge you to give yourself a chance to be heard differently, to be heard compassionately.