Krizia’s Reviews > I Was a Teenage Slasher > Status Update

He’s about to strike.

The slasher goodbye is inevitable.
The human goodbye is chosen, and it costs both of them.

He knows what’s coming.
She knows what’s coming.
They say “I love you” anyway.

That’s not horror.
That’s grief.

It was maybe the most real we'd ever talked.
"I love you, Tolly Driver," Amber said, and I was glad it was dark. I was glad she couldn't see my face…
"Chirpie," she said as goodbye, and, two, maybe three seconds after she faded into the night, into the rest of her life, I said it back, that I loved her too. And then I went on about how she was my best friend… how she was the best thing to ever happen to me…

“ surprise. Slashers aren’t just dangerous with blades and darkness. We can also weaponize the least social interaction.”

Teenage slasher!

The lawnmowers love me, the weedwackers are my friends, but it's the chainsaws that really know my touch.

Cartoon princesses have little birds that flit around them every morning, and whistle sweet nothings to greet the new day?

Imagine what a slasher must wake to.

“He was calling me a wimp.
He wasn’t wrong.
Just, I was a wimp with a bodycount.
And I was just getting started.”

Slashers and cats, we both have perfect balance.

Slashers are jacks of any and all trades, when it comes to getting some killing done.

“I would get better with the hiding and seeking, of course. Like killer good.”