Mallory’s Reviews > The Wonderful Wizard of Oz > Status Update

Dorothy and the pretty green girl KISSED, you say???

Love the way the Scarecrow put no one in charge as he, too, abandoned the people of the Emerald City.

WHY MUST WE ALWAYS JUMP TO MURDER? The Tin Woodman just seriously maimed that tree, it shivered AS IF IN PAIN, and no one bats an eye. I thought he was supposed to have the most tender heart now? Tell me he is not going to chop down more trees to make a ladder.

“I am as brave as any beast that ever lived, if not braver,” said the Lion, MODESTLY. XD

“You must have been thinking again.” Tin Woodman, the sassmaster that you are.

Scarecrow going from being on a pole to being king feels like a Jesus metaphor.

If the Monkeys can’t fulfill what was asked of them, it shouldn’t count as a used wish. Regardless, she STILL HAS A WISH LEFT. WISH TO GO TO GLINDA’S.

So the Wizard left willingly, and leaving Dorothy behind was an accident. Why did they start filling the balloon before Toto was account for?

I’m sorry, I missed the part where THE SCARECROW TAKES OVER RULING ALL OF THE EMERALD CITY AFTER THE WIZARD LEAVES??? He’s immortal! Does he rule forever?? Why did Oz pick him anyway? Why not the Tin Woodman? I have so many questions. Scarecrow deserves a kingdom tho.

Not the wizard stuffing the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman like Build-a-Bears.

But also they’re so stupid. He admitted to being a charlatan, but all three of them are still like “but you can still do magic, right?” Dude, NO.

“I have always liked you as you were.” DID YOU, THOUGH, DOROTHY? Liked how you could take him for granted, more like. Afraid he’ll stop catering to you. The Scarecrow deserves better.

“They grew vexed that Oz should treat them in so poor a fashion, after sending them to undergo hardships and slavery.” Baum has such a way with words.

Not the Scarecrow immediately turning to blackmail XD

The Tin Woodman pulling out his ax at the drop of a hat.

“You’re a humbug.” The Scarecrow is so iconic.

The Wizard lands in a new place and immediately demands a city “just to amuse himself”?

Could the Winkies not have given them a golden compass or something? I mean really.

Not the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman being cool with how the monkey’s mutilated them.

Wow, a Winged Monkey enslavement backstory was not on my Wizard of Oz bingo card. I can’t believe I forgot all of this.

All the boys being too ugly and stupid for Gayelette XD Is the current Witch of the North descended from her and Quelala?

You’re telling me that the Winkies worked on the Tin Woodman for THREE DAYS and not once during the interim Dorothy and the Lion thought they might try to save the Scarecrow. Dorothy sheds so many tears for the Tin Woodman, but scarcely a thought for the Scarecrow. How unjust. Only the Tin Woodman seems to care about his boo.

Is Winkie country yellow because of all the gold them seem to have? It literally glows?

So much murder!! The wolves, the crows, the bees, and the witch!

The Wicked Witch of the West walked so the Eye of Sauron could run.

Why are the Flying Monkeys like a genie? Why are they tied to the golden cap? I have so many questions.

It’s a known fact that Good is more powerful than Evil? Why then, has no one been able to beat the East and West witches before?

Not Dorothy cleaning up the crime scene XD

I wonder what the significance of the different forms Oz has is. The fire to keep the Lion from attacking makes sense, but why the beast for the Tin Woodman, the lady for the Scarecrow, and the head for Dorothy? And why not kill the witch himself if he’s so powerful? Sending a child to either die or commit murder is WILD.

“[Oz] needs a heart as much as the Tin Woodman.” The Scarecrow is so out of pocket. XD

Sorry, what now? The wizard has a *ahem* “collection of hearts in all shapes and sizes”?? And we’re not going to question this. Did he perhaps run away to Oz in his balloon because he’s a SERIAL KILLER?? Fits right in with the Ozians.

Not the farmer going on at length about how reclusive this guy is just for Dorothy to ask what he’s like. NO ONE’S MET HIM HOW WOULD THEY KNOW? He’s ANTISOCIAL. CLEARLY.