Melissa’s Reviews > Seven Year Itch > Status Update
Melissa
is starting
If you like the taste of my potent onion, swipe right and let’s giggle and make some soup together.
Last line of Calder’s personal ad
The whole thing is hilarious!
Written by his brothers
— Feb 16, 2026 04:41AM
Last line of Calder’s personal ad
The whole thing is hilarious!
Written by his brothers
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Melissa’s Previous Updates
Melissa
is on page 85 of 372
The look of disappointment in his eyes is unmistakable, and the confidence that surges through me over that reaction is better than sex . . . and makes me think perhaps sex is a need. A need that I should be thinking about with the man I’ve been seeing for weeks now, not this bearded new guy.
I better stay far away from this Fletcher brother if I know what’s good for me.
Dakota’s flashback
Attraction
— 0 minutes ago
I better stay far away from this Fletcher brother if I know what’s good for me.
Dakota’s flashback
Attraction
Melissa
is on page 85 of 372
…even though all I want to do is sit on his lap and debate whether sex is a need or a want, and maybe go through some exercises to draw our own conclusion. It’s the beard and ink combo that’s doing me in . . . which is a bit surprising because he’s not my typical type. I’m usually drawn to dressier hipsters who can pick out a good bottle of red at a restaurant.
Flashback
— 4 minutes ago
Flashback
Melissa
is on page 84 of 372
My throat tightens as Calder stares back at me in that intense way he has about him, and I feel a flashback to the first night we met.
Dakota remembers meeting Calder
Does he remember that night?
— 16 minutes ago
Dakota remembers meeting Calder
Does he remember that night?
Melissa
is on page 84 of 372
Dakota- “You have to quit acting like you know me so well, Calder,” I argue because I’m done letting men think they know what I can and can’t do with my own damn life.
Was Randal controlling?
Sounds like it
— 23 minutes ago
Was Randal controlling?
Sounds like it
Melissa
is on page 83 of 372
I nibble on one of the crackers from his tray as the beginning credits of The Call of the Wild begin. It’s an interesting choice by Calder. It’s been a while since I saw the film, but if I recall, the dog is sort of too big for his own life and seeks adventure outside of it. Not unlike the boisterous man sitting next to me seemingly fumbling through his own life a bit.
Dakota about Calder
Looking for something?
— 38 minutes ago
Dakota about Calder
Looking for something?
Melissa
is on page 75 of 372
“From the moment I met you, I could see that. You had the world by the fucking balls . . . and you did whatever you wanted. Only a guy with zero fucking common sense would somehow miss the fact that you are limitless.”
Calder to Dakota at the palapa
— 3 hours, 28 min ago
Calder to Dakota at the palapa
Melissa
is on page 74 of 372
Dakota- You know . . . I used to think you were hot, before I hated you.
Calder- I still think you’re hot, even though I hate you.
D- You think I’m hot?
C- You know you’re hot.
D- I used to be hot.
C- Used to be?
D- Yeah . . . I’ve changed. I’m not the hot little thing I used to be. It’s fine. I know I’m not a dog. But I’m not what I once was.
— 4 hours, 39 min ago
Calder- I still think you’re hot, even though I hate you.
D- You think I’m hot?
C- You know you’re hot.
D- I used to be hot.
C- Used to be?
D- Yeah . . . I’ve changed. I’m not the hot little thing I used to be. It’s fine. I know I’m not a dog. But I’m not what I once was.
Melissa
is on page 74 of 372
Calder- Will you just take my arm before you break your ankle?
Dakota- Calder Fletcher being chivalrous. Hell hath frozen over.
Calder- You would know since you live there.
Banter
— 4 hours, 46 min ago
Dakota- Calder Fletcher being chivalrous. Hell hath frozen over.
Calder- You would know since you live there.
Banter
Melissa
is on page 72 of 372
“She has black-cat energy,” Trista says and hiccups loudly.
“What is black-cat energy?” Cozy asks curiously.
Trista smiles as she replies, “Black cats don’t seek attention, but somehow, they still always get it. They’re really independent and know their worth.
Talking about Dakota
— 4 hours, 51 min ago
“What is black-cat energy?” Cozy asks curiously.
Trista smiles as she replies, “Black cats don’t seek attention, but somehow, they still always get it. They’re really independent and know their worth.
Talking about Dakota
Melissa
is on page 72 of 372
Calder- I shake my head. “You must be drunk if you’re offering to do something nice for me.”
Dakota- “I am a nice person, Calder,” she snaps defensively, her blue eyes stunning against her sun-kissed cheeks. “Outside of you . . . I am a nice person. Sometimes.”
Dakota offers to switch beds
Alternate nights on the sofa bed
— 4 hours, 52 min ago
Dakota- “I am a nice person, Calder,” she snaps defensively, her blue eyes stunning against her sun-kissed cheeks. “Outside of you . . . I am a nice person. Sometimes.”
Dakota offers to switch beds
Alternate nights on the sofa bed

