Dahshan’s Reviews > Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love > Status Update

Remember, an activated attachment system is not passionate love. Next time you date someone and find yourself feeling anxious, insecure, and obsessive—only to feel elated every once in a while— tell yourself this is most likely an activated attachment system and not love\ True love, in the evolutionary sense, means peace of mind. “Still waters run deep” is a good way of characterizing it.

Every time you get mixed messages, your attachment system is activated and you become preoccupied with the relationship. But then he compliments you or makes a romantic gesture that gets your heart racing, and you tell yourself he's interested after all; you're elated. Unfortunately, the bliss is very short-lived.