Status Update

Eli is 86% done

of course we have to get him chopping wood shirtless, it would be horrifying to find a single original idea in this

— Feb 18, 2026 03:12AM

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Eli’s Previous Updates

Eli is 70% done

what the fuck am i doing with my life

— Feb 17, 2026 02:30PM

Eli is 25% done

not the celibacy vow oh my god😭😭😭

— Feb 08, 2026 02:54PM

Eli is 20% done

oh. oh no. this is just abuse

— Feb 06, 2026 02:50PM

Eli is on page 20 of 450

thank god i am immediately reminded of how BIG the guy is, even BIGGER than the last guy, welcome back ali hazelwood

— Feb 05, 2026 03:34PM

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