Samantha’s Reviews > Nightshade > Status Update

I FUCKING KNEWIIIIIT! WASABI WANKER!!

Buddy reading update:
- Stephen DeMarco ptsd cracking our theories
- ALEX HAS US BY THE THROAT!!! 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️
- We feel bit cockblocked tho
- But praise kinks? Activated.
- Our theories? Theoring.
- Tails? Vibrating.
- Cardiac arrests? We lost count.
- Hotel? Trivago.
- 🥺 to 🤣 to 🥵 to 😍 to 🤢 to 😈

‘I’M FLUENT IN HER’?! I WANT TO MARRY THIS MAN.

And I feel so pried open with Ophelia…TAKE IT BACK 🤡

THE CHOKEHOLD THIS MAN AND HIS THIGHS HAVE ON ME?! AND HE FUCKING WHIMPERS?! YEA I’M SO DOWN BAD.🧎🏻‍♀️

“I licked it so it’s mine.” **feral screech**

Buddyreading update:
Janessa on nyquil season 2 🤝🏽 me concussed because I accidentally slammed my head on the microwave door
= unhinged sidetracks, Mexican yaps & feral barking🖤

Out of context:
- Me: I’m under the sofa
- J: I got distracted with a smoothie
- Me: if I had balls they’d be blue
- J: *makes me spit my milk from laughter on my chihuahua* 🤣

A bath scene where he helps with her hair will always be one of my favorite type of scenes for some reason 😭🖤

The stalker is sending her emails with murder mystery type clues via classic literature excerpts and quotes? Oh I have an academic boner right now 🦋

“Get in the bed.”
“What?” He’s so close I can feel the heat of his bare chest through my pajama shirt.
“Get. Into. My. Bed.”

THE FERAL GIDDY SCREECH THAT JUST CAME OUT OF ME AT 3AM AAAAAAAAA

When I said she could choke…well…that aged well 🙂

“Dickensian-orphan-next-door, more like.” Wow, this man really doesn’t stop with the compliments huh?

Also, if I were Ophelia…that roommate would catch these hands. She can choke! 😒

Buddy reading with bae Janessa 🖤
We are already thriving with the dark humor banter ✨

“she’s almost charming, in a depressing sort of way” wow what a way to flatter a woman!