Reader’s Reviews > Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience > Status Update

When we take on a discovery mindset in conflict with our children, they instinctively learn the rhythms of secure conflict resolution. Our openness to their needs during conflict will help them learn to be open to others needs during conflict. While modelling a rupture to repair conflict proceed, we empower our children to trust the process of learning that conflict offers us

Model honesty to receive it. Answer with empathy when you “catch” them. It makes them feel safe next time

Structure gives predictability - being able to predict routines lets them feel safe so their brain can focus on creativity and learning, rather than needing to be hyperalert for survival.

Too harsh (“because I’m the parent and I said so”) = lack of trust, doesn’t allow learning/processing of why you made certain decisions

Too rigid (anxious control from parent) overwhelms nervous system, feeling unsafe