Jasmine Ferry’s Reviews > House of Leaves > Status Update

Dude this man’s panic attacks and mental breakdowns and spirals are so beautifully written like you can feel the confusion and fear dripping off every word and nothing feels real anymore just chefs kiss

“She let the pacmen out and ate me alive” SORRY GO HOME YOUR HYPERSEXUAL TRAUMATIZED FREAK I CANT 💀💀💀💀💀

The stripper loves me final boss

“What I mean to say is that the weird encounter with Tatiana seems to have helped me somehow.”

*ginormous sigh* alright boys prepare yourselves

I love how Johnny has just completely given up translating any of the German now 😭😭 these poor editors bro

Alright! Johnny! I did not need that passage where you (in meticulous detail) described the way a woman fingered your asshole while you masturbated and you came all over her face. Not really sure that was necessary to publish buddy. Please for the love of god get a diary

You know how I know? BECAUSE NO REAL WOMAN WOULD SAY TO A RANDOM MAN LIKE WHO JUST CAME TO HER OFFICE FOR A FEW PAPERS WOULD STRIP DOWN NAKED AND SAY “I won’t let you fuck me, but you can come on me.” NONE. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA.

You know what Johnny? I bet you haven’t even fucked any of these women! I bet none of them are real and you haven’t left your apartment in weeks! Ashley isn’t real, Tatiana isn’t real, NONE OF THIS IS FUCKING REAL

Except it wasn’t gas. It was milk. Only there was no milk. There was no gas. No leak either….A tree fell on me. So heavy, it took a crane to lift it. Not even a crane could lift it. There are no trees on my block. This has got to stop.”

JOHNNY TRUANT TELL THE TRUTH CHALLENGE LEVEL FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE

“In fact these days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Puck. Puck. Puck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. —“

You really have
.
A way with
.
Words there
.
Johnny Truant