Lindsey Memory’s Reviews > How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen > Status Update
Lindsey Memory
is on page 142 of 306
… but a sacred flaw is still a flaw. One problem with defensive architecture is that you don’t control it, it controls you. And it tends to get outdated.
At some point, most people realize their models are no longer working. Avoidant people want to become more attached. Deprived people want to feel their full worth. Overreactive people realize a life of strife brings ruin on herself.
— Apr 12, 2026 11:22AM
At some point, most people realize their models are no longer working. Avoidant people want to become more attached. Deprived people want to feel their full worth. Overreactive people realize a life of strife brings ruin on herself.
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Lindsey’s Previous Updates
Lindsey Memory
is on page 139 of 306
Most people have a ‘sacred flaw,’ a model you built early in life of how you see the world that helps you defend yourself from abuse or neglect and anticipate how people will behave. It steers you to act in ways that get you affirmed and loved. We seek out the people and media that confirm our models. You can get a sense for someone’s model by how they complete the sentences “I’m only safe when”
— Apr 12, 2026 11:13AM
