line santo’s Reviews > The Shards > Status Update

Holy fucking shit I don’t know why, but that Debbie news hit me like a fucking truck.

“Our odds looked good. We were young and alive and strong, and nothing could hurt us, and there wasn’t anything clouding this perception a fable about our place in the world, and we ignored the intrusive notions of fate and horror and hideous death that might kidnap us from the golden dome of adolescence resided under”

“And then I felt it: there was a presence someone on the hillside hidden watching me I stood still imagining what the presence the thing wanted from me as it kept staring so intently from its secret vantage point…… it was someone from the writers of the afterlife. It was a troller. It was the ghost of Matt Kellner.”

“Who cared anyway it was all bullshit. It felt so cleansing to look at things from this angle. I wanted to be where Susan Reynolds was, and I wanted to write like this as well numbness as a feeling numbness as a motivation numbness as the reason to exist numbness as ecstasy.”

“ And I just stood there in the fading afternoon light realizing at 17 that I was already staring into my past that the past had a meaning that would always define you. …… and there was nothing I could do about the pain of the past. It just settled over me. “

“I hated the way she asked this.………….. It suggested that there were rules we needed to follow, and I kind of propriety i thought Susan had abandoned. she was confirming we were in high school where there were football games and homecoming queens and boys didn’t fuck each other and everyone was faithful and abide by the loss we set up”

“ I don’t The announcement of the troller, our confirmation of evil that made everything vibrate softly with melodrama, and I almost became excited in the atmosphere that was playing out, heightened lightly dangerous, somewhat sexualized. There was an initial narrative that I was creating against the backdrop of these sickening crimes that felt like being in a movie.”

“It was the last weekend untainted by the past. The basic reason why the weekend happened was I realized in retrospect, sex, and the hope tied to the sex. It was about desire in its simplest form and a purity that I would never experience again.”

“I was learning about how the world worked from the way adults acted and presented themselves what they noticed and thought was important and what they ignored or took in stride”

“I had no stakes in the real world. Why would I? it wasn’t built for me or my needs or desires and I was reminded of this almost constantly since I was locked in a teenage horniness skyrocketing into the stratosphere and constantly activated by things I found erotic and yet could never have. This was my only point of reference. This was what contributed to that no longer tangible participant.”