Antonella’s Reviews > No More Mediocre: A Call to Reimagine Our Relationships and Demand More > Status Update

This book is so good, savoring every chapter. Ch 6 was somehow even better, and would have been super great about… 6 or so years ago. A deep dive into “marriage takes work”, when compromise slips into self abandonment, affirming our needs are not burdens. Mediocrity has been sold by society in support of the broken systems.

What we don’t want is to accept “a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness”.”

Ch 5, dare I say my favorite chapter. Exploring the differences between good faith and weaponized incompetence. This book explains and describes weaponized incompetence in one of the best ways I’ve read thus far - really digging into the nuance of it all.

“When you choose to behave in a way that will result in harm, even when it’s because of a lack of action or effort, it’s still choosing harm.” Period.

Ch. 4 - The Nag Paradox. The “just tell me what to do”, followed by the “don’t tell me what to do!”. The over-functioning, the expectations that the other will take care of it, the unmet emotional needs, lack of consideration and care, the normalization of imbalances in partnerships around domestic labor… the resolution isn’t splitting chores, it’s being a copilot.

Oooo this chapter was perfection!

Gender norms hurt everyone, and is the core contributor to the imbalance and inequity within our relationships, households, jobs, society, and beyond.
Caregiving is human, not gendered. Caregiving extends beyond the nuclear family, yet this is consistently stigmatized, and gendered. As they say
"be a villager", extend care to chosen family, neighbors, your community. And praise those you see doing the same.

Gender norms hurt everyone, and is the core contributor to the imbalance and inequity within our relationships, households, jobs, society, and beyond.

Caregiving is a human, not gendered. Caregiving extends beyond the nuclear family, yet this is consistently stigmatized, and gendered. As they say “be a villager”, extend care to chosen family, neighbors, your community. And praise those you see doing the same.

Ch. 2, Sitcom Syndrome: The Hidden Harms of Laughing it Off.

This chapter gave words to something I have felt, but didn’t know how to summarize. Many laugh off disrespectful, inconsiderate, bare minimum behavior because absent minded, forgetful, and dismissiveness (particularly among men) is a widely accepted norm behavior by society. It’s normalized, so it’s accepted. And accepted because it’s normalized.

Laura Danger, the woman that you are. Chapter 1 is so filled to the brim with goodness, it could be a book itself.

Diving head first into the broken, racist, misogynist, capitalist, and oppressive system that is patriarchy, Laura explores how these macro-impacts are felt acutely in our relationships and partnerships as a byproduct of how we are taught what’s ‘valuable’.

Domestic engineering is essential.

I’ve not heard a deep dive into weaponized incompetence quite like Laura digs into in her chapter on it. So good, and informative. And applicable to all relationships.