Jessica’s Reviews > How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay > Status Update

"I carry around hard candy in my purse because I am your grandpa. If your grandpa had a purse."

"Hippos look like enormous doofy water babies who like long soaks, but really they're murder potatoes who kill over five hundred people a year; they're literally deadlier than lions. And hippos are vegetarians so they're not even doing it to eat you. They just want to kill you for fun. (I assume.)

...hippos are baddies who have nothing to prove.

And--let me remind us both--neither do we.