Figgy’s Reviews > The Roanoke Girls > Status Update

It was like a handful of giant houses all smashed together with no regard for aesthetics or conformity. It was equal parts horrifying and mesmerizing.

[2/2]

He's taken off his tie and suit coat, undone the top button of his white dress shirt and rolled up the sleeves. He's hunched over, forearms balanced on his knees, his eyes on the glass in of scotch between his hands. He looks so goddamn handsome, like some portrait of grief from an old black-and-white movie. I want to go over and punch him in the face, rip him to shreds with my bare hands.

Roanoke always felt slightly alive, especially when I was there alone, as if it could lead me astray down unused corridors, whisk me into the unknown, never to be seen again.

The girl my gran described was not the woman I knew at all. My mother wore her beauty like a punishment. She couldn't escape it, so she tried to disguise it, decorated her face with tears instead of makeup, wore clothes designed to conceal, rather than flaunt. I think perhaps the worst day of her life was the morning she woke up and discovered I was destined to look exactly like her.

To Sarah, Allegra is simply a bitch. A spoiled man-stealer. But not one single second of Allegra's life was easy. I know the agony she lived with every day. And I understand how sometimes you have to pass the pain around in order to survive it. No matter the wrongs Allegra committed, Sarah doesn't get to judge her. Not when she wouldn't have lasted one day in Allegra's shoes.

I raised my eyes and found Cooper's. He smoothed my hair back, tucked it behind my ear. He didn't tell me it was okay, or he was sure I hadn't meant it. He knew it wasn't okay, that it never would be.

Her words punch into my chest like spikes. I stare at her, aware for the first time of exactly what her calm blue gaze conceals. I have no idea how it took me this long. "You hate me," I say. "You've always hated me." I wish I didn't sounds so sad.
Gran drops her pearls. "Oh, Lane." Her smile is full of sympathy, the most maternal she's ever looked. "I hate all of you."

Not for the first time, I wonder how much he knows. He's always been observant, his gaze taking in more than people are willing to give away. And he grew up in darkness, knows how it hides in plain sight. Unlike most people, Cooper isn't afraid of looking into the shadows.

Her bed still smelled of blood. "What happened, Allegra?" I whispered, not expecting an answer. "Did someone hurt you?"
The lavender lace curtains fluttered in the open window. Barely any relief against the stifling heat.
"We're Roanoke girls, Lane," Allegra said softly, surprising me. I thought she'd slipped into sleep. "Being hurt comes with the territory."

But unlike the other boy, when his moment came Cooper didn't falter or back away. He didn't feel guilt for claiming something that did not belong to him. He took it without asking, as though it was meant for him all along, and I was glad to give it up - to finally be rid of the burden of deciding what kind of girl I would become.