Mona’s Reviews > Life’s Too Short > Status Update

He pulled away just enough to look at me. He was crying. He looked like a man who had cried every single day for months. Like he’d gotten good at it and it was easier to cry now than it was to stop.

“I’ll never stop looking. And when I find her, I’m spending the rest of her life letting her know how much I love her.”

“Don’t ever forget the things I taught you. Life’s too short, Adrian. It is too fucking short. Eat the cake, take the vacation, dance in the rain. And don’t do anything that’s going to break your heart. I’m just sorry that in this case, that thing was me.”

“Hey, everyone.” She did her wave at the camera. But she didn’t have the usual light around her eyes. She was in a hoodie and her hair was in a messy braid. She looked the way I felt. Heartbroken.

Was I doing to her what Adrian had done to me? Insisting I knew what was best for Annabel when she was the one who had to live with her choices?
Maybe listening to her was doing what was best for her and Grace. Even if it didn’t feel that way.

My happiest moments might be measured in months, not years. And I knew that I should be cherishing every second with her, but I couldn’t stop looking at the sun. I couldn’t. It was careening toward the Earth, and I was angry because she wouldn’t try to stop it.

“The holidays never meant much to me. But this one does.”
“Why?” I smiled.
“Because it’s our first one. Because everything with you is better. Because I’ve found the person I can’t live without.”

I wish I’d been able to unlock this level sooner. I wish I’d met her years ago. High school. Grade school. A previous life. It all felt like lost time.

I loved that he had a key to my apartment. Not just so he could come in and save me from the ceiling fan or do unannounced birthday cleanings, but because I loved that there were no closed doors between us. Not really. Not physically or otherwise. He knew everything there was to know about me. He knew about my shitty family—he even knew I was worried I might be sick. And here he was anyway.

I was unmovable. I didn’t like change. I didn’t like to adapt. It was easier to decide to hate something or someone and stick with it, because the other option would be to expose myself to the unknown or open myself up to be hurt.