Troy Terwilliger’s Reviews > Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents > Status Update

She pulls from foundational concepts like Attachment Theory (Bowlby and Ainsworth) and the work of Bowen Family Systems, which looks at how anxiety and roles are passed down through generations.

This is a profound realization that connects back to your personal values of discretion and discernment. Thinking objectively about those who have hurt or invaded you is an act of internal boundary-setting; it is a private reclaiming of your reality.

Being part of a group should mean more safety and less stress.

“Hate is a normal and involuntary reaction when someone tries to control you for no reason.. someone is trying to get their needs met by you at your expense.”

Children who cannot engage their parents emotionally often try to play the roles their parents want them to..

Instead of asking, "Can I tell this person anything?" try asking:
• "Does this person have the emotional maturity to hold what I am about to tell them?"
• "Do they show an interest in my internal world that matches the interest I show in theirs?"
• "Do I feel safer or more anxious after I share with them?"