Zack ;)’s Reviews > The Mistake > Status Update
Zack ;)
is 60% done
“What rhymes with insensitive?” I tap my pen on the kitchen table, beyond frustrated with my current task. Who knew rhyming was so fucking difficult?
Garrett, who’s dicing onions at the counter, glances over. “Sensitive,” he says helpfully.
“Yes, G, I’ll be sure to rhyme insensitive with sensitive. Gold star for you.”
He’s so sassy i love him
— May 15, 2026 03:27PM
Garrett, who’s dicing onions at the counter, glances over. “Sensitive,” he says helpfully.
“Yes, G, I’ll be sure to rhyme insensitive with sensitive. Gold star for you.”
He’s so sassy i love him
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Zack ;)’s Previous Updates
Zack ;)
is 94% done
“Can we kiss now, or are you still groveling?”
“Depends on whether my girlfriend requires more groveling.”
Bring back men grovelling
— May 16, 2026 09:35AM
“Depends on whether my girlfriend requires more groveling.”
Bring back men grovelling
Zack ;)
is 91% done
“How do I fix this?” I ask, sighing.
“Quick. Write her another poem,” Garrett suggests.
Stop they’re so unserious
— May 16, 2026 09:04AM
“Quick. Write her another poem,” Garrett suggests.
Stop they’re so unserious
Zack ;)
is 90% done
“And just in case my reaction to your idiocy didn’t make it clear where I stand with us, then let me spell it out for you.” I whirl around to scowl at him. “I love you, you stupid jackass.”
Well that’s certainly a way to tell someone you love them.
— May 16, 2026 09:01AM
Well that’s certainly a way to tell someone you love them.
Zack ;)
is 74% done
“I reach several conclusions.
One, I’ve never had more fun with a girl in my entire life.
Two, I never want this to end.
And three…
I think I might be falling in love with her.”
AAAHHHHHHH
— May 16, 2026 05:20AM
One, I’ve never had more fun with a girl in my entire life.
Two, I never want this to end.
And three…
I think I might be falling in love with her.”
AAAHHHHHHH
Zack ;)
is 65% done
“Well, at least we have that in common.” He shuffles closer and presses a kiss to my cheek. “It’s all right. We’ll work through this, gorgeous. Might need couples counseling at some point, but once I teach you to love hockey, it’ll be smooth sailing for us.”
This whole fantasising thing they’re doing has me smiling like a fool.
— May 15, 2026 04:33PM
This whole fantasising thing they’re doing has me smiling like a fool.
Zack ;)
is 60% done
“Tucker shakes his head in exasperation. “You should have compared them to cherries, dumbass.”
He’s right. I should have. I’m a terrible poet and I do know it.”
There’s actually no reason for me to be giggling this much
— May 15, 2026 03:30PM
He’s right. I should have. I’m a terrible poet and I do know it.”
There’s actually no reason for me to be giggling this much
Zack ;)
is 58% done
“What is wrong with you?” I say in lieu of greeting. “You went to Morris’s dorm and declared your intentions?”
He offers a faint smile. “Of course. It was the noble thing to do. I can’t be chasing after another guy’s girl without his knowledge.”
Oh my word
— May 15, 2026 03:22PM
He offers a faint smile. “Of course. It was the noble thing to do. I can’t be chasing after another guy’s girl without his knowledge.”
Oh my word
Zack ;)
is 58% done
“I flop down beside him. “Okay, it’s hidden in the corner of the shipyard, near the dock master’s office. Just head that way and I’ll show you when you get there.”
Morris presses restart.”
Logan what is your problem. You cannot just barge into peoples dorms and then make yourself at home??!!? You are so charming wth
— May 15, 2026 03:20PM
Morris presses restart.”
Logan what is your problem. You cannot just barge into peoples dorms and then make yourself at home??!!? You are so charming wth
Zack ;)
is 57% done
“It’s a damn shame that duels don’t play a role in the modern world anymore. Because right now, I’d totally be down for slapping a leather glove on Morris Ruffolo’s cheek and challenging him to one.”
Oh my word, Logan! But yes you fight for your girl!!
— May 15, 2026 03:13PM
Oh my word, Logan! But yes you fight for your girl!!
Zack ;)
is 54% done
“For the next thirty-five minutes, I fight hard not to laugh as I listen to quite possibly the two dumbest people on the planet give advice. Seriously, if their combined IQ is in the double digits, I’ll eat my hat. Proverbial hat, of course, since I can’t for the life of me pull off hats. My head refuses to look good in them.”
Grace, I love you.
— May 15, 2026 02:43PM
Grace, I love you.

