Megzz’s Reviews > Donut Summer > Status Update

I'm jealous. I can't seem to get into YA anymore, even if I wanted to.

I'm trying but I think that era of my life is now over. I'll give it a few more chapters

Really couldn't get into it so shelved it as "Did not finish". Maybe I'll try again some other time- but just couldn't get into a teenager's mind right now.

That's alright! I'm currently itching to read something, maybe you can recommend one? Like a quarter-life crisis plot? The drama would be about Ms. Independent, who already has her future set, and Ms. Carpe Diem, who feels pressured b'cos she feels like she hasn't achieved anything yet.

Or cultural differences. Ms. Conformity vs Ms. Individuality.

Political differences? Like trying to educate the love interest (tho it's a huge turn-off in reality lol unless they're already a couple).

Love language barrier. Like Ms. Gift Giving vs Ms. Words of Affirmation? Not appreciating grand gestures vs not appreciating sweet nothings?

Like, how would these people compromise without resorting to ending their relationships?

Am I asking too much? Haha

Ali wrote: "That's alright! I'm currently itching to read something, maybe you can recommend one? Like a quarter-life crisis plot? The drama would be about Ms. Independent, who already has her future set, and ..."

haha! Ali, is this your way of telling me you're ongoing through a quarter-life crisis? Let me guess! You're Ms Individuality. Ms Carpe Diem. You're left wing (most of the time). And.. you're Ms.. Words of Affirmation? How did I do?

Have you just gone through a really back breakup because your ex was insufferably ignorant and kept trying to earn your love with (big) chocolates on your pillow?

Yes, you're asking too much 🤣 With such a specific prompt, have you tried your AI?

Okay, let's get serious. I have gone through my list and.. admittedly you should know I'm so romantic that I usually do avoid novels where the women are in relationship and in crisis. With that in mind, you could try some of these:
- Hoops & Heartstrings and its sequel Half-Court Heat: not technically a quarter life crisis but close enough. An hot enemies to lovers romance, and the sequel (I didn't love it) tackles their challenges as a couple (Ms Popular vs Ms I-Want-a-Simple-Life)
- The Blind Side of Love: Ms Rich Hollywood star vs Ms Starving Artist. One of my all time favourites - not super angsty, but a beautiful one. And each is definitely going through a quarter-life crisis - they're just each other's remedy.
- That Certain Something: Ms Rich Business Woman vs Ms Working Class
- Just Three Words: My fave Brayden. Ms Carpe Diem Artist vs Ms Type A Romantic Accountant
- Girls Who Pray: amazing book about two Amish girls/women spanning several years and with an interesting narration style. Definitely some political/social differences there..
- Delilah Green Doesn't Care: Ms Girl Next Door vs Ms Weirdo - second chance (kinda).
- Windlass: this one's angsty - Ms Have-it-together and Ms Completely Broken!
- Chemistry: opposites attract..


Probably unrelated to your specific request but have you tried these?
- Interference: actually my fave YA because it doesn't feel YA. If you ever feel like trying.
- Compass Rose: a series - long and immersive and just amazing.
- Anything by JJ Arias but especially Losing Control (Mrs Player Artist vs Ms Type A Manager), Guava Flavored Lies, Like First Love, Again, Body Check
- 6 Times We Almost Kissed and One Time We Did : don't get fooled by the cover, this one is aaangsty
- The Clinch

Okay, Megan. First of all, thank you for making the effort to get on your computer just for these. (How did I do?)

Nice to meet you, Ms. Romantic. I'm Ms. Realist.

I am also Ms. Conformity. Neither Ms. Ind. nor CD, but Ms. Self-Sufficient. Ms. Acts of service. And no, I'm not in such a crisis. It just so happens that people are more deep in thought in the middle of the night. Had I read it in the morning, you might have gotten a different reply from me. (You must be thinking that I'm deflecting. If I'm right, then I am).

Fortunately, I've never had an ex like that. It was a me thing. I'm the problem.

Yes, I asked AI. They weren't helpful.

Was Psychology your major? You caught me off guard. I was laughing out loud while reading it. Nice try tho!

wow I did get on my laptop just for these! In fact I pissed off my wife cause dinner was already served😅It was too good an opprtunity to pass up!

I did really bad, though. Believe it or not, I am also Ms Realist! It's not mutually exclusive with Ms Romantic.

Psychology was unfortunately not my major - because I used to be Ms Conformity and studied Business😩Silently wishing I'd studied to be a psychiatrist, or.. more exciting.. a detective. Maybe in another life.

Glad I made you laugh - realists need to laugh more.

Aha! Ali - 1. Megan - 0.

Fair - I'll win the next battle.

My name is actually Mégane. The French way. But noone outside of France knows how to say it right, so I just go by Meg ;)

I know. But I don't want to be too obvious that I did my research. Haha! So there will be a next battle huh

you stalked me? damn. Ali 2 - Meg 0
🤣there goes my 2nd battle

No! I mean, is it considered? I'm torn between Megan and Meghan so I searched up how it's spelled in French.

Another round. Let me get my 3rd point (please confirm). But I know you mentioned your Wife on purpose. And you're right about whatever was the reason behind that. I was actually trying to ask if you're left-handed. Roundabout way to confirm if the photo was mirrored. But Idk how. Now, Problem solved!

My question is why would you go through all that trouble to call me by my full first name at all? Should I take this as a sign of respect? 😅
I love the dedication.

Now for our 3rd battle I'm wondering which conclusion you reached - but I'm missing a couple of data points.
Are you assuming I wear my watch on my non-dominant arm?
Did you see 1 or 2 rings?

Okay, let me get this straight even if I'm not. I'm actually developing a crush on you but I've been holding myself back because you seem married. In my POV, you were wearing your watch on your right hand which means the ring was just an accessory unless the image was mirrored. Don't worry, I know how to fck off when someone's unavailable. I hope we're still cool. (I've only seen one ring).

I just find it creepy to ask personal or non book related stuff so I just let myself wonder.

Have you got your conclusion now?

well well - you were right that I'm wearing my watch on my right arm. And the ring on that hand is for accessory only. The ring on the other is not :)

And I am..right handed! never understood why people wear their watch on their non-dominant side. Doesn't come naturally to me to look at the time using my left arm.

Wow this got personal😅

Ali! what kind of person do you think I am! Not only are we still cool, but you can absolutely ask me personal questions. Maybe just DM me in that case.

I like our chats. And I am absolutely not worried! so don't fuck off unless you want to.

You still win round 3 it looks like

wow okay mind blown. Goodreads has phased out the DM feature. Insane.

Because it gets in the way when you're writing on paper tho these days we rarely write. Isn't that awkward with the mouse?

I see. There's another ring.

Hey, thanks! Though they removed DMs on Goodreads. If you're talking about social media, I think I prefer for us to stay like this. Let's just say I chose the poet's choice where you'll remain as the Mona Lisa, which was the reference in your photo.

Soooo, Ali: 4, Meg, still 0? What a turn off, Jk.

Haven't used a mouse since 1997!

I did mean Goodreads until I realised with shock that they phased it out. Ah well. Lame.

Not much of social media person anyway - I will remain the Mona Lisa... at a distance and undefined. You'd probably be actually turned off if you looked any closer, anyway. The way most things disappoint.

You're officially winning the war at this point. Weird. I usually almost win

You mean "battle"? Is that my 5th? (Was that the first word you meant to write? A super wild guess at this point).

Hey, don't say that! I'm hoping to bump into you once I visit London. Which got me thinking. Does winning equal to prizes? Because I deserve a cappuccino.

1997? 7 years old and already a touchpad gal? I was just learning to walk at that time!

Okay 1997 may have been an exaggeration. Maybe 2005. There you go. You were hopefully by then already doing multi-digit math.

A cappuccino? that would be your choice? You got it. Bump into me in London and I'll get you a cappuccino. I know a place.

Yay! Merci beaucoup!

impressive French for a Filipino 😏

If I could choose to speak any language, I'd choose French. What about you?

Oh, I just remembered. Happy Shavuot!

I would speak Hebrew ;) Thank you! here's to the Ten Commandments. A pretty smart set of rules to live by. Why French?

What a coincidence! I speak basic Hebrew and can read the words I know (and still learning). I've been in Israel for four years now. If you ever visit, bump on me! Coffee/tea is on me.

Also, I've found French sexy ever since I watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Like I need to watch it once a year.

you're kidding - where do you live in Israel? My sister lives in Tel Aviv. Will definitely visit this year, I was just waiting for things to calm down a bit (if it ever does...)

Can you believe I still haven't seen that movie? I definitely need to.
The French have a way of making romance a bit depressing so I feel like I have to psych myself up a bit for that

Jerusalem. It's actually the reason why I started reading books. So I had something to kill time while in the mamad.

If you feel super bored and don't want to read, give it a try!

what made you move to Jerusalem? Where were you before? Tell me if too personal, I can back off 🫣

I'm working here. Why Jerusalem? It's colder (me coming from a tropical country). When was the last time you visited?

Right before the war, August 2023. We stayed a month in Tel Aviv. We actually exchanged homes with a couple that stayed at ours in London during the same time. Funny story - after the war, they actually moved to London permanently and we're friends now. I love Jerusalem but in my experience, it feels less safe than Tel Aviv, and it's freezing in the winter! What do you do, Ms Conformity and Self-Sufficient?

If I had to choose, I'd prefer Jerusalem. Maybe I'm biased since I've learned to adapt esp. during Shabbat. There are fewer crowds and fewer cars. Just peace and silence. (How ironic? I know).

And since I'm a foreigner, I feel less threatened. Like they don't care about me since I'm obviously not Jewish. So, I understand you esp. now that antisemitism is more rampant now.

Two cents, both Arabs and Orthodox are nice to me. So it's really hard to digest the elephant in their picture. Why not just kiss and make love!

I'm a carer.

Hard to be both a carer and a realistic isn't it? We should really just all kiss and make love.

You haven't told me what you do (for a living). You said you were living there for work? What work?

Oops sorry. I mean, I'm a carer. Taking care of old people. How about you?

Ooh you are actually officially a carer! My bad - I thought you meant figuratively. I'm a carer too... non officially. I just care about stuff too much.

Professionally, I'm much more boring. I work in Marketing/Growth for tech businesses. Not sexy.

Of course it's sexy! I won't let you downplay our major! Haha

I'm an oversensitive empath working in something ruthless. It's not easy every day. Like I said - I wish I'd become a detective or psychiatrist. To make a difference somehow

I also want to be a detective. People commend my observational skill. Maybe, in another life. (You must be a fan of Agatha Christie).

It means you're a great listener. Thank you for your service! Now I understand why you seem like an escapist. I'm guessing you're into astrology too?

Astrology no - I'm a bit too scientific to really buy into that. Astronomy, yes.

Have you ever taken the MBTI personality test?

Yes. But that was years ago. Not sure if it changed. I'm an INFP. What about you?

Oh wait let me guess!! I should've asked you to guess mine.

You may be an INTP.

Haha - not quite. I'm INFJ. You and I actually have all opposite cognitive functions! if you're ever interested in learning more about that-- I nerd out on it.

Okay, now I'm curious! Tell me more about it?

Oh boy here we go. Are you ready? I don't think so. You're really not ready.

Every MBTI type has 4 letters as identifiers, right? that's easy. But if you dig deeper, you'll realise that's not even half the picture.

Every type has a combination of 8 cognitive functions which are, let's say, mental processes, that define how you perceive information and make decisions.

You have 4 main functions that will really drive what you do.

Think about them as the framework for your brain/heart's way of dealing with life. And then - whatever data you have in it (where you're from, how you grew up, any other culture/nurture stuff), will create the picture of who you are.

Cognitive functions will be:
- Introverted Intuition (Ni) or Extroverted Intuition (Ne)
- Introverted Sensing (Si) or Extroverted Sensing (Se)
- Introverted Feeling (Fi) or Extroverted Feeling (Fe)
- Introverted Thinking (Ti) or Extroverted Thinking (Te)

I lead with Ni, Fe, Ti, Se
You lead with Fi, Ne, Si, Te

If you're still with me, I can tell you what those mean. If I've lost you, then I'll stop there haha

You explained it very well. I can see now how we're opposite. Now, go on!

Okay.. and I'lll assume you are indeed INFP, meaning you weren't 'mistyped' (your MBTI type is how your brain is wired, it never changes throughout your life by the way, but you should take it several times because your mood on a given day might influence your ability to respond in the most honest way).

Our relations do ideas...
I have Ni, you have Ne.

Your intuition directs outwards -> it expands. You probably have a rich imaginary world, you ask yourself a lot of what-ifs, you see all sorts of possibilities - and you see how something connects to everything else. Sometimes, you might feel unsure. You might wonder which path to take. You probably get distracted easily. You thrive on thinking of..potential. You probably just like the Mona Lisa and don't mind just.. leaving it to the imagination. Not caring what she's actually like in real life.

This is also the function that made you text me at night about your ideal next romance.

I, on the other hand, direct my intuition inwards. I take in all the info I see, and I condense it, and zoom in on the one path forward I think is right.
I actually cruelly lack imagination. I'm stubborn as hell. But I usually can tell you how something is going to pan out way before it does - but wouldn't be able to explain to you why. I'm very focused and have an annoying attention to detail. I thrive on bringing one single vision to life, and different possibilities stress me out.

That's my lead function by the way - everything I do is processed by that intuition.

Our relations to others and our values...
I have Fe, you have Fi.

This one's important. Because it's YOUR leading function.
You probably often ask yourself the question "How do I feel about this?" "does this align with my values/who I want to be?". That's why it's an introvert function - it will prioritise your personal authenticity. It's contained. You'll let people be who they are. But you will not compromise on your personal values. They're what you use to relate to others.
That makes you strongly empathetic, in a 'save the animals" and "everyone should kiss and make love" kind of way. It's more generic. It's more morale-driven, and it's more about how that makes you feel like you're aligning with your internal moral compass.

I, on the other hand - direct my empathy outwards. I care about the harmony of the group, and I'll be constantly asking myself "how does this person feel?" "how does the group feel?" - accommodating others is what I live by. I will willingly show my emotions, and naturally mimic others in my communication style.
It makes me empathetic, in a.. "let me absorb all of your feelings and take it upon myself to solve your issues right now". It's very exhausting.

How we relate to information..
You have Te, I have Ti.

This means, you lead your thinking outward. You focus on objective and external systems - which makes you a highly efficient person, and highly self-sufficient. You'll check what the metric is. What the consensus is and lead with that. You'll seek the most direct route to action. You'll ask "How".

I, on the other hand - need my information to match subjective, internal principles. This makes me a skeptic of what's out there. If something doesn't make sense according to my internal framework of how I understand the world, then I won't believe it.
So that makes me the devil's advocate. I'm super annoying. I will debate with you until the sun comes up. I will beat a subject to death. Because my main question isn't "How", it's "Why".

Last but not least..
Our relation to our environment (from our sensations to our traditions).
You have Si, I have Se.
You take this inwards. You will evaluate situations by comparing them to past experiences, stored memories... You will value traditions, and history. You will remember people's birthdays better than anyone. Because you compare to past experiences, you will feel most comfortable in tried-and-tested environments. So you value stability.. routine, habits.. You'll be more likely to be Ms Conformity.

I, on the other hand, am more Carpe Diem. Focus on the present moment and physical sensations. Have a terrible memory. Can't for the life of me sustain a routine or even traditions unless my family of Si people just push me to. I probably wouldn't even celebrate my birthday if it weren't for people asking me to. I thrive in novelty and intensity. Adventure. I'll be the first one wanting to be on that rollercoaster for the physical thrill of it. I'm extremely adventurous when it comes to food. And other stuff.

You might go to a restaurant because someone you love used to come often, and you have amazing memories there.
I'll go to a restaurant because it has really spicy food and a really cool atmosphere.

However, our sensing functions are 3rd for you and 4th for me in our main function 'stack' - so theyre not the most used function we have either way.

to summarise... all of these main functions are what makes you you, and what makes me me.
Often, the INFJ is called the "advocate", the "counselor". The Dumbledores of the world.
The INFP is the Shakespears of the world.

That was long. I'm sorry. I'll let you digest now.

Wow! That's effin accurate!! And we're indeed total opposites! I don't like spicy!!

I can see ourselves questioning every little thing we notice. And wait, I do care what she looks like. Like what you said "I resort to possibilities" and at that moment I don't see any possibilities of it happening. So why bother to know the impossible? Ignorance is bliss.

I actually find my empathy a burden. I'm just so tired of caring for people who don't give a sht. That's why I've become so selective when making friends.

When you said "absorbing and take it upon yourself" I picture you as Spongebob. (Spongemeg).

Thank you for explaining it. I stopped myself looking up about it as I prefer to get the first hand information from you. I appreciate your time esp. the effort of typing it from your phone.

I wonder if you were typing it on Goodreads comment section or opened your notes to double check any typos or whatever. I find the gesture really heartwarming.

I read your comment on my phone, and then cracked my fingers and opened my laptop cause I knew this would take a while 😅 But I was half working half writing my response to you - so I rushed it, and re-reading it I see all my typos and mistakes and I'm cringing.

I see why your empathy would feel like a burden. I have very low expectations of people by default, so I'm not too pissed off about it... but for that reason I also select my friends very carefully. I only have a helpful of real ones cause I have high standards