Connie’s Reviews > Four Mothers: An Intimate Journey through the First Year of Parenthood in Four Countries > Status Update
Connie
is on page 110 of 288
“One of her chief opponents was Labor Minister Ngala Mwendwa, who didn't even think she should be in government. Married women should be home with children and single women were unsuitable for leadership, he argued. "The first duty of a woman is to get a husband. If she fails to get a husband, she has failed her first examination and she is not worthy to represent anybody," Mwendwa said in 1966.“
— May 23, 2026 04:45PM
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Connie’s Previous Updates
Connie
is on page 272 of 288
“The goal now should be to create societies in which having children is not driven by war, colonialism, or capitalism but by people's genuine desire to be parents, with all the difficulty and joy that can bring. And then to honor parents' work with support so they can make the choices that allow them to live full, rich, modern lives.”
— May 25, 2026 08:36AM
Connie
is on page 264 of 288
“Even admitting that she feels a longing to be with her child—and is willing to make professional sacrifices to satisfy it—is a brave and radical act in a culture that has used that kind of deep personal desire to justify gender inequality and push women into serving as the social safety net. But it is her way of staying true to who she is…”
— May 25, 2026 08:28AM
Connie
is on page 259 of 288
“[Aurélie Athan, a clinic psychologist and faculty member at Teachers College, Columbia University] argues that the difference is, society allows teenagers to grow into whatever type of adult they wish to be whereas there’s an expectation mothers will fit into the maternal archetype their culture demands. "But there are so many ways of mothering as there are mothers, because they’re people."”
— May 25, 2026 08:25AM
Connie
is on page 252 of 288
“The challenge was, and remains, to give motherhood real civic power without essentializing women as caregivers.”
— May 25, 2026 08:21AM
Connie
is on page 192 of 288
"The government does not give mothers enough support and respect. Financial support is one thing but there's not enough support for mothers to return to work. It's really difficult and in lots of different contexts, I can feel that it's not equal for men and women here."
— May 24, 2026 07:10PM
Connie
is on page 147 of 288
"I think it's in some ways harder for working dads who want to be really involved parents because they get less flexibility at work, whether implied or outright; it's still sort of going against the gender norm, like of course moms will want to be with their kids but if guys want to be with their kids, that's unmanly or there's a lot of baggage about that."
— May 23, 2026 06:26PM
Connie
is on page 130 of 288
"I didn't see his needs or his fragility enough, and I think it surprised him as well." She feels responsible to help him through the turbulence of new parenthood. But as author Gemma Hartley writes, managing a partner's emotional state can exact a psychic toll. "Women are, in many unpaid ways, expected to keep those around us comfortable at all costs—including the cost to self."”
— May 23, 2026 05:32PM
