Lit Reader’s Reviews > Hearts Entwined > Status Update

As Jane & Mr. Bennet wilt away forgotten in the Orkney Islands (Mrs. Bennet died and no one cared much), Elizabeth and Darcy prosper, thrive and multiply ! Their many children are happy and grow surounded by many cousins.

The eldest son becomes his uncle’s heir (the elder Darcy brother, master of Pemberley & now a Marquess). He marries his cousin, but not before cheekily calling her “tolerable” (cute NOT) !

This multi-cast story falls into one common (amateur) mistake >> having characters recall and retell large chunks of any action to other characters who missed out; then, when any “movement” happens, the story invests long and heavy paragraphs naming all the characters that need to move together (as a gang, a clique, or entourage) from place to place.

It’s childish & tiresome.

The kiss of death >> the same scene repeated twice, with small alterations, a bad glitch, a timeloop? likely POOR editing, including two drafts of the same scene when not able to decide which one to add to the final version.

This Elizabeth is a Victim Mary Sue who is mistreated by her family, so when she meets Second Son Darcy in London, it’s a match made in heaven, because they can BOTH hate on Lizzy’s family together !

The newlywed Darcys can snub, talk back to, and humiliate the Bennets as one — perfect Love Match, you see?

Off-kilter
The ball was in her court

Darcy & Elizabeth’s first meeting is the CRINGIEST thing I have read in a long while… Elizabeth laughs for no reason, Darcy performatively questions her about “the bard”, and Elizabeth warns a gentleman she just met about how she is OH SO inpertinent.