BookmarkedOne’s Reviews > Wuthering Heights > Status Update

this book reads exactly like you would expect a “literary genius drinking graveyard bog water” book to read like

I can say this. I too live by graveyard. boggy or not.

Emily. what even.

Isabella: I can fix him!
Cathy: no sweetheart, you really can’t :)
Cathy II: I can fix him!
Heathcliff: yeah good luck with that
Ellen: you can fix her!
Lockwood: I, a heartbroken introvert, would literally rather socialize with sane society than come within ten feet of her again
Cathy II: I found another one I can fix!
Hareton: you are cute. so why not.

(mumbles something about the Volsung saga and Dracula)

Ellen: sir would you like to marry our young miss? She is very beautiful. :) :) :)
Lockwood: have you considered she is bad tempered, haunted by an evil fate, and also are we not going to talk about the witchcraft
Ellen: but have you considered you could fix her :) :) :)

Me: you see a child in mortal peril. What do you do?
Ellen: Call Child Protection Services.
Me, crying: you are child protection services

Ellen: Housekeeper’s log. Once again, I am the only sane person in this place, pondering how much oranges can solve.

(I doubt the author’s intentions…but I sense the opportunity for an unreliable narrator where Ellen is the one hunting fortunes…)

I would like to like Cathy, but her laughing, bullying Isabella reminds me too much of some women I have met who pretend they are the nicest, and then proceed to push you around. >:(

enjoying the implication Ellen can only repeat Joseph’s words in Joseph’s accent
like Pippin doing a Sméagol impression

Ellen: Heathcliff has this murderous look in his eyes. It’s frightening.
Me: …he’s sixteen, you say?