Maria’s Reviews > Perfume and Pain > Status Update
Maria
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"... I click around on the fragrance subreddits and make a Google Doc organizing all the perfume samples I've tried, which house and notes and accords I lobe -- amber, musk black tea -- and despise -- tuberose, powder, gourmands (why people want to smell like food is beyond me). I fantasize about starting my own perfume line, a thought that excites me in the way the way the thought of writing a novel once did ..."
— Jul 16, 2026 06:09PM
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Maria
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"The patchouli," I say. "your scent. What is it?"
"Oh." Penelope laughs. "I make it myself. I use this aged patchouli oil I found at an Italian pharmacy near Portofino. And I mix it with a little vetiver and rose. And jojoba oil as a carrier."
— Jul 17, 2026 07:23AM
"Oh." Penelope laughs. "I make it myself. I use this aged patchouli oil I found at an Italian pharmacy near Portofino. And I mix it with a little vetiver and rose. And jojoba oil as a carrier."
Maria
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"I'm wearing the moon milk, have been wearing it since that romantic bender in Penelope's bungalow. For a few months, I associated it with her ... But eventually, it started to smell like me. A Swedish girl. Spicy and moody but secretly sweet. I spitz it every morning, the tiniest amount, and the scent keeps me company throughout the day. I even bought a whole bottle ..."
— Jul 17, 2026 07:18AM
Maria
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"She's wearing a bodycon dress and a cloying floral perfume ..."
— Jul 17, 2026 07:05AM
Maria
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"I sip some what and thing about what perfume I would wear [to a Lesbian LitCrawl reading]. Probably something off-putting and a little scary, although I haven't strayed from the moon milk in a while."
— Jul 17, 2026 07:01AM
Maria
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likely: Rogue Evergreens
"I greet him with a bottle of fancy body wash and cologne from an Oregon company that uses sustainable harvested plants to make craft fragrances, and he seems surprised, but touched."
— Jul 17, 2026 06:55AM
"I greet him with a bottle of fancy body wash and cologne from an Oregon company that uses sustainable harvested plants to make craft fragrances, and he seems surprised, but touched."
Maria
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"Opening my front for, I'm first hit with a scent. Orchids and metal. I look down to avoid the sun and see pink cowboy boots. Looking up, I see dar hair, eager eyes."
— Jul 17, 2026 06:46AM
Maria
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"[P]atchouli is a scent with 'a lot of misconceptions.' While now associate with wacky sacks and jam bands, early European traders valued patchouli as highly as gold, and Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamen was buried with forty liters of patchouli oil. I ordered a few patchouli-based perfume samples, pulling a 180 on my beliefs per usual."
— Jul 17, 2026 06:43AM
Maria
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"The patchouli smell that once repulsed me now fils me with a warm, serene feeling."
— Jul 17, 2026 06:37AM
Maria
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"... I eventually become certain that 'moon milk' is a poetic euphemism for female cum."
— Jul 17, 2026 06:34AM
Maria
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Moonmilk by Stora Skuggan
"For almost an hour, I spritz various sections of my arms, sniffing, moving into different rooms, sniffing, moving outside, sniffing, seeing how they smell after one minutes, after fifteen minutes, after thirty. I eventually land on a Swedish perfume described not as a fragrance but rather as 'moon milk.' It's supposed to smell like creamy black tea and soft woods and smooth leather ..."
— Jul 17, 2026 06:34AM
"For almost an hour, I spritz various sections of my arms, sniffing, moving into different rooms, sniffing, moving outside, sniffing, seeing how they smell after one minutes, after fifteen minutes, after thirty. I eventually land on a Swedish perfume described not as a fragrance but rather as 'moon milk.' It's supposed to smell like creamy black tea and soft woods and smooth leather ..."