M.J.’s Reviews > The Savior Rises > Status Update
M.J.
is 21% done
This is reminding me of an 80's movie. I think this is another victim of telling not showing. The wording is still awkward. When the villain falls on the cop car his speech is unnecessarily long. Most villains would just 'I will kill you!' And leave it at that. There is no threat in his speech. And Greg as a villain's name?
— May 01, 2017 10:57AM
Like flag
M.J.’s Previous Updates
M.J.
is 86% done
There has to be an easier way to make someone question their sanity then this. This is just getting ridiculous and rather boring.
— May 01, 2017 01:56PM
M.J.
is 84% done
I don't know if the reader is supposed to be questioning Stefani's sanity, but using Greg's POV let's the reader know she's not insane.
— May 01, 2017 01:52PM
M.J.
is 77% done
Or never occurred to her to ask Matt or Greg about her mother? Or the fact that her mom was probably a gargoyle? If mom was a gargoyle, that choking she witnessed as a child couldn't have killed her.
— May 01, 2017 01:40PM
M.J.
is 74% done
This whole waking up back in her bed thing seems way to convoluted.
— May 01, 2017 01:32PM
M.J.
is 73% done
Yep, just to die. It seems remarkably easy to rip out someone's heart and behead them.
— May 01, 2017 01:29PM
M.J.
is 72% done
Are people introduced just to die? Their deaths don't mean much if you can't make the reader connect to them.
— May 01, 2017 01:26PM
M.J.
is 72% done
Are people introduced just to die? Their deaths don't mean much if you can't make the reader connect to them.
— May 01, 2017 01:26PM
M.J.
is 70% done
One of these baddies is talking like 45. ... Have most characters been talking like him... 😧
— May 01, 2017 01:13PM
M.J.
is 70% done
The heroine is coherent after a few shots and blacking out. Maybe gargoyles don't get drunk the same way as lowly humans do.
— May 01, 2017 01:09PM
