average human’s Reviews > Into the Madness > Status Update

A small whine comes from the board beneath my foot, but I pretend it didn’t just threaten to collapse into a thousand tiny pieces into the terrifying waves far, far below.
I secretly consider attacking Kais once again just to see if he’ll carry me down the rickety stairs. But I don’t think that’s the kind of thing Harry Potter would do, so it’s probably best if I just continue on in a fearless way. My fingers dig into the railing with every step I take.
Completely fucking fearless.
“You’re a slow thing, aren’t you?” A black spike nearly stabs between my fingers as Cat slinks by, striding in her heels on the two inch hand railing as if it were a runway. The wind catches her long hair and the sheer ends of her beautiful dress, and her reckless image alone claws terror into my bones.
“Come along. Rabbit would never let you fall, darling.” She turns the corner, so sure of herself and life that it leaves me stunned.
“She’s right.” His voice comes out as a rasp that fans against the back of my neck, forcing me to look back at him. A warm feeling passes through me from the sound of his sureness. I fully believe he’ll never let anything happen to me. “The King would never forgive me if I let something happen to Alice. I’d be dead before you hit the ground.”
I blink up at the carelessness of his words. The wind sweeps up my hair as I stare at him and the smirk that’s teasing his lips.
“You’re so sweet.” I pull my attention slowly back to the stairs, and I start to make my careful way down them once again.
Several minutes pass and we’re somewhere on the side of the cliff when I realize it’s probably safe to talk here. Kais and I are secluded on this trapeze of deadly stairs.
“Can I leave? When we reach the bottom, will you take me to the Dismay Forest?”
“No. It’d be impossible to get a newcomer into the other Kingdom even if I wanted to.”
I stumble at the sound of his abrupt negativity. My foot slips through the stairs, and my heart falls right out of my chest, I swear it.
Warm hands wrap around my waist. His chest is hard against my back as he pulls me to a steady standing position.
“No?” I turn on him, my breathing still heavy from my near death experience, but this is more important. “You said I could leave if I wanted to.”
“You’re the One-est One.” The seriousness he’s able to hold in place while he says that ridiculous title makes me angrier. “You’d really turn your back on all the people who have been waiting on you for centuries? This Kingdom was made for Alice. And you’re going to walk away.”
“I don’t owe them anything, Kais. I don’t owe you anything.” I’ve never owed anyone a single fucking thing, and this upside down fuckhole of a world is no different.
The moonlight makes his gaze lighter, more intense, washing out any hint of kindness within him.
“You don’t owe me anything. You’re right about that. But if you’re a coward, maybe you should try to leave. You’re not The One if you can turn away so easily.”
A coward?
What are the people of the Kingdom of Hearts waiting for Alice to do? What am I getting myself into?
“What’s the rest of the prophecy?” My arms fold as the cold wind chills my skin with a shivering bite.
The way his eyes roam over me makes me wonder if he’s sizing me up. In my three inch heels, he’s maybe an inch taller than I am, and I don’t know why my extra height gives me confidence. Is he trying to decide if I’m the strong, intelligent woman they’ve all been told about?
I’m not. I’m not the one they’re waiting for. There are people out there with the ability to change the world. To inspire and to progress and to make a lasting impact.
That’s not me. I don’t have the optimism, and I don’t have the health. It takes more than a nice wig and some white socks to make a strong person.
“There are rebels in Wanderlust. Those who are tired of waiting and tired of being neglected. Over a century has passed, and the Kingdom is happy to accept newcomers, but they’re just as happy to forget about them too. They live in shambles. Fucking forgotten poverty.” His jaw twitches, and his anger smooths before his voice can rise any more. “They’re set on creating a new society with or without Alice in the neighboring Kingdom.” He pauses as if it’s hard for him to explain this. I guess he’s never really had to before me.
“The Elders’ Kingdom, Wonderland, they don’t want us. They don’t want newcomers. They don’t like change.” Cat walks by again, her arms out at both sides as if she’s having fun balancing along the railing. “The land here isn’t like the land in Wonderland. Nothing grows here. Nothing prospers. So the Rebel Hearts are willing to take Wonderland. No matter what the cost.” Her heels click against the wood as she pounces by. There’s a strange glint in the cat woman’s gaze. It’s a look of humor, but the words she speaks are anything but funny.
“And Alice will somehow cause amity between the Rebel Hearts and the two Kingdoms?” My attention shifts from Cat to the cold look in Kais’s eyes.
“Yes. That’s what Profit believes. We can truly begin to live once she arrives. She will show the Elders of this realm that we’re alike. We’re just like them. We can all live here together. Alice will show them that.” Kais’s terse answers are harder to handle than Cat’s twistedly happy ones.
“And she has to wed the King?” If I show up here tomorrow, will they throw a white gown on me and toss me into marital bliss?
That’s fucking terrifying.
“No, you don’t—she doesn’t have to marry the King.” Kais sighs a long and tired sound before bringing his attention back to me. “The King and his sister are the youngest Elders. This is their land, and the King thinks that by offering Alice a crown, it’ll make her more likely to stay. It’ll also show unity between the Elders and the newcomers. It’ll ensure the safety of his people. He’s offering her a once in a lifetime life in exchange for her aid.”
Defeat pulls at my shoulders. The events of the day start to dig into me. It does sound kind of appealing in a way. Maybe it’s the result of all those children’s books drilling happily ever after into my youthful, naive mind. But it does cause an uncontainable spout of excitement within me to think I could be the Queen of…a fantasy realm. The Queen of Lust. Hmm, that sounds a bit like a porno. I’ll have to keep working on my title, I think.
“Doesn’t it seem odd that my name isn’t Alice?” The rational part of my mind doesn’t accept the fairy tale as easily as the absurd optimism that’s trying to infect my thoughts.
“My name was Beatrice Smithson before I came to Wanderlust.” I look over to find Catrice lying flat on her stomach, her feet tilted up and crossed at the ankle while she lounges lazily against the railing.
I try to pull my attention away from her carelessly dangerous position, but I can’t.
“What was your name?” I finally look up at Kais.
He shrugs slightly. “My name was Kais St. Croix.”
“And now it’s Rabbit,” Cat says with a smirk.
“That’s an insulting name, and you know it. I transformed into a rabbit one time. What if I called you Cat Girl?” He tips his head up at his friend, and she ignores the look.
“Hmm, sounds kind of sexy.” She rolls in one swift movement until she’s lying on her back, looking up at the stars.
I’m here in the strangest of company. A woman who couldn’t wait to form a new identity, and a man who couldn’t even think of a new name.
I suppose I’d be more like Catrice, ready to give away my old life without looking back. But there’s too much unknown here. With every new answered question, there are ten more unanswered.
“Are you two shape-shifters?”
“Yes,” says Cat at the same time that Kais says no.
“Okay…” I exhale through my nose and consider just trying to find the Dismay Forest myself.
“I’m a shape-shifting shatter shrew.” Cat lifts her hand and admires her flawless pink nails.
My lips part, but I can’t decide if she actually just said words or not.
Kais shakes his head at her answer.
“It’s not shape-shifting. Stop reading so many smutty books, Cat. We’re illusionists. The Elders always called us illusionists. Our magic is different than theirs: more powerful, more pure because we’re born from the sea.” His jaw clenches slightly, pulling my attention to the shadowed ink of crimson numbers along his neck.
Those are mine. Those numbers are mine. And they line his body like a lover’s name.
I pull my attention back to Cat and force the thought away.
“Everyone here can do illusions like this? Change their appearance and stuff?” I glance from one of them to the other, but Kais is the one to answer.
“Takes time. Everyone here holds different levels of magic depending on how long they’ve been here.” Kais looks bored out of his beautiful mind reciting this information to me.
It’s all so different. Confusing. Alluring but confusing.
“If I leave, I’ll just go back to my normal life?”
“Like I said, you’re welcome to try to leave. The Elders may kill you the moment you pass the Kingdoms’ divide, but you’re welcome to just get out. I won’t respect that decision, but you’re welcome to do so. And if you stay, you’ll gain all that Wanderlust has to offer. The magic of Wanderlust will infuse into your soul little by little, it’ll change you. For the better.” His tone is cold like he’s already mentally cutting me out of his life.
Is that what he does? Keeps everyone at a distance, prepared to cut them out at any given moment?
It sounds exhausting.
The three of us stand there, hanging off the edge of a cliff while I stare starry-eyed up at my captor turned tour guide.
He all but just told me my life will be better here. For however long my life might have left. There’s more in this land. I’m not the Sick Girl here, that girl whose mom died not long after she “beat cancer.” I’m not that girl who’s wasting her education on fashion design. I’m The Fucking One. Kind of. There’s a life to be lived here. Any life I’d like, really.
If I accept it.

25%

“Yeah. Definitely. Take a hallucinogen to help with that dizziness.” I nod a confused little nod but keep walking. I keep step with her as we follow after Kais. “Where are we headed exactly?” I ask.
A man drops down from somewhere up above. He lands in place between Cat and myself. “You’re welcome to come home with me,” the man whispers.
Oh. Okay. Bad pickup lines exist in every realm, it seems.
His hair is pulled back away from his face, leaving his deep dark eyes searching mine as a smile tilts his lips. The beard along his jaw instantly makes me realize how much of his face he’s hiding beneath it. He’s one of those guys who could be attractive with or without the facial hair, but he just doesn’t seem to give enough of a fuck to shave.
“Has any female actually fallen for that line, Lighton?” Cat glances at the arrogant man at her side.
“Ah, not today, no. But the night is still young, pretty Kitty Cat.” He walks with a swaying stature. His gaze darts around the forest as if there’s more to be seen than what meets the eye. Where Kais holds stiff posture and brooding looks, Lighton is the opposite. Even the way he walks is elaborate and odd in a way.
He turns until he’s walking backward in front of Cat and me.
“Lighton Farrow.” He extends his hand, never once missing a step.
My hand slips into his. He squeezes, extending the feel of our hands held between us. He drags out the feel of my hand in his, his strength shown even in the simple handshake. Holy Fucking Wanderlust. This Kingdom is just made up of sexy, sexy—confusing—men, I swear.
“So, do tell. How quickly did the red fade out of your number?” His head tilts at me. “Cat here was the longest running One-est One, did you know that? Something like seventeen seconds for the red to vanish into black.” His gaze drifts distractedly before coming back to me.
Cat smiles a pleased and alarmingly beaming smile.
“It’s still red.” The moment I say it, he stops walking backward. It’s so abrupt that my heels hit against his boots, my palms pressing into his lean chest. My fingers slide slowly away from his warmth as I take a careful step back from the strange man.
“Still red? Like—still, still? At the moment? Currently? Presently? Right now?” He turns from me with a frantic spin before I can even speak. “Kais?”
He doesn’t even ask before Kais’s voice carries through the dark.
“It’s still red,” Kais tells him from somewhere in the distance.
Lighton is slow to turn back around, his wide shoulders shadow over me, his amber eyes darting across my features at a rapid pace.
“It’s still red.” His voice is an empty sound as he looks at me once more. His attention trails over me a little slower as if it’s the first time he’s really seeing me. “Damn, you’re a fucking train wreck, aren’t you?”
A small tired smile pulls at my lips, and I can’t help but nod. Aside from that little boy’s sneering comment, Lighton’s the first person to really be brutally honest about my appearance tonight.
It’s refreshing. And insulting. I like it.
We follow after Kais. A tall and towering building streams up into the sky, surrounded by the glowing forest. It’s an alarming but beautiful structure. It tilts unsteadily to one side and it only makes me more anxious when I realize that’s where we’re headed.
“Home sweet house,” Lighton whispers.
“My home sweet house, you mean.” Kais all but growls at the man at his side.
“Tomato, Toledo.” Lighton shrugs good-naturedly.
My lips part at the weird word that most definitely is not the comparison I thought he was going for…
Kais narrows his eyes at the man as he turns the knob, but no one mentions Lighton’s odd choice of words. It’s like Cat and Kais are used to it while I’m left wondering what the hell it all means.
“When I open this door, there aren’t going to be any unexpected guests?” Kais levels Lighton with a look.
“Does a shit bear in the woods?” Lighton asks with the most serious expression that doesn’t reflect his completely fucked up words at all.
“What?” I glance from one person to the next, but Cat and Kais just shake their heads.
“A word of advice, don’t drink the Rosen,” Cat whispers strangely.
Everyone here is out of their minds.
“Just stop inviting rebels into my house,” Kais grinds out as he pushes open the door.
“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it, my friend.” Lighton has this innocent look in his big brown eyes, and I almost believe his sincerity.
Until a man comes crashing down in front of the door. An old golden chandelier clanks against the flooring right in front of Kais, and another dude comes ambushing the man who’s clinging to the light fixture with both hands like it might still hold him up despite his new position lying at Kais’s feet.
“Fucking hell, Lighton.” Kais swings his glaring attention at the bewildered man by my side.
“What?” Lighton peers down at the men like he’s just now noticed they’re there. He lifts his innocent hands from his sides as another three strange men chase after the first two. “I don’t think that’s my fault.” Lighton bites the inside of his cheek, and he looks genuinely confused about…everything…his entire life, possibly.
With a shake of his head, Kais strides inside.
Kais’s house is a compilation of stairs. It’s the most nonsensical home I’ve ever stepped foot into. The moment the door opens to the entryway, the four of us are greeted by steps winding up, up, up. The second floor leads off to a table with a chair and an old trunk for seating. We carry on past the lovely cracked dining table. My feet ache when we come to the small third floor space. A tattered arm chair and twin bed with the covers thrown back takes up all the meager amount of space. A woman with tattered clothes dozes there, and I wonder if she too is an uninvited rebel. Judging by the glare Kais tosses her, I’d say yes, yes she is. We stride on past there as well.
From the first floor all the way to the top is an open stairwell, with the stairs leading to small platforms for each floor. It’s odd and not at all a good use of structural space. It looks like this whole house might come tumbling down on a beautiful day with one slight breeze.
My heels falter against the top step that leads out to a large open attic space. Fabrics of all colors, silks, and hats string across the room like cobwebs long forgotten. Piles of the materials fill the corners of the room, and several people lounge there as well.
I like it. It reminds me of my classes back home. It reminds me of all the pretty racks of fabric I browse through when I want a new outfit. Except…messier.
The crowd in this room doesn’t seem to mind the clutter. Laughter and echoing amusement carry over the sharp jarring music humming through the room. The people here aren’t terrifying like the man I met on the coast. A woman passes by with antlers in her blonde hair and hooves clicking against the floor, but for the most part, everyone is fairly human in appearance. In the far corner of the room, standing atop a table, a woman plays a violin with deft fingers but off notes. She looks peaceful even as I grimace at the shrieking sound she’s making with the little instrument. A man guides an unsteady woman across the dusty floor in an elegant but dramatic flair of dancing. It’s a good effort, but really they couldn’t keep in time with the harsh notes that are slicing through the room if they wanted to.
“Fuck, not again.” Kais glares hard at the dozen or so people crowding his home.
The man dancing halts the moment he sees Cat and our little group. The man’s height and the top hat on his head force him to duck beneath the strung-up fabrics. A smile of pure happiness clings to his handsome features when his attention lands on me.
“The Alice of the Moment, I presume.” His warm palm pushes across mine, and with an elaborate bow, he presses his lips to my knuckles, just a gentle brush of his warm lips against my cold skin.
My eyebrow arches as he does the same with Cat, his lips lingering faintly against her skin before he glances heatedly up at the beautiful woman.
He’s old school. He’s Mr.-Darcy-leaving-a-calling-card old school, isn’t he?
“Don’t let him fool you, Brody was a performer on Broadway, not a Victorian gentleman,” Lighton whispers with a carrying laugh.
The proper posture of the man in the three-piece suit drops as he pins a look to Lighton. “Why do you have to tell all of them that?” Brody’s smile widens even more despite his performance being ruined. “It’s still a pleasure to meet the Alice of the Moment.”
“Want to tell me why there’s a dozen Rebel Hearts in my house?” Kais takes a step closer to Brody. His perfect posture and the top hat tracing his dark hair make him impossibly taller than Kais.
“It’s nothing. It’s a non-party. The non-est-party I’ve never thrown.” Brody’s smile makes thin lines crease around his eyes. “They heard a True Alice had arrived. They wanted to celebrate with a non-party. Lighton and I were happy to oblige.”
“Happy to oblige in my fucking house?” Kais is always so vacant, careful with his emotions; he’s frightening when he’s angry.
I wish I could understand it all though. Why are the rebels so rebelliously close to the King’s castle? And why is Kais so familiar with them all?
Perhaps the Kingdom isn’t as large as I thought it was. Maybe they knew each other before the rebellion started.
“Are you hungry? We’ve brought the most divine desserts.” Brody’s gaze trails from the mud clinging to my shoes to the tears in my dress to the wig pulling at my hair.
Before I can even reply, Kais is talking over me.
“Nothing divine. Not tonight, Brody.” The two men stare at one another for a long moment. They couldn’t be more different. Kais is all hard muscle and brooding looks while Brody is delicate with carefully veiled thoughts, a smile that doesn’t reflect his intentions at all.
“Let me get you a drink. Some form of welcome must be made for the Alice of the Moment.”
“Do not get her a drink.” Kais takes a single step until the two men are nearly toe to toe. Shining shoe to muddy boot.
And I’m standing at the sidelines, all eyes on me: the woman they’re speaking over because, clearly, I don’t have a voice of my own.
Guess they didn’t teach too many Victorian formalities on Broadway.
My nails dig into my palm, and the faint feel of Cat’s fingertips brush down the side of my arm.
“What about a bath? You look like you’re in desperate need of a bath, Love,” Brody swings his attention back to me.
“No—”
“A bath would be fantastic. The Alice of the Moment would love a bath, thank you for asking.” I glare intently into Kais’s eyes as I step past him, placing my palm lightly in Brody’s open hand.
His eyebrow cocks high as he passes Kais. I ignore the two men’s taunting looks and just let Brody lead me toward a dark staircase on the far wall. Lighton trails after us on quiet swaying steps.
When my heels click against the first step, I realize how secluded I am with the two strangers. These beautiful strangers.

Would a rebel harm the beloved Alice? Would they hurt me? It just goes to show how little I know about Wanderlust politics and the place I stand in the middle of all of it.
It’d look pretty pathetic if I died trying to prove a petty point to Kais over a bath.
“It’s sensible to trust your senses, Love.” Brody’s mellow timber is meant to calm me, I think, but his phrasing doesn’t do anything of the sort.
“It took me years to ever really feel that I belonged here. It’s understandable that you don’t understand this. That you don’t trust us. Or me.” He peers back at me, his dark eyes meeting mine in the shadowy stairwell. He holds my gaze for several seconds before opening the door. The three of us are close, my arm brushing along his, but he holds me at a careful distance. A respectable distance.
Cold wind hits my face, tangling my hair in an instant. His fingers lace with mine as he leads me into the night air. The man faces away from the wind and lights some kind of cigarette that drifts too much white smoke around us. I look away from the strange cigarette and the oddly sweet smell it’s wafting.
It takes me a second to realize we’re on the roof of the towering building Kais calls his home. My heels scuff against the concrete as confusion settles in.
Lighton pushes the door closed with a heavy click. When I look back at him, he’s leaning lazily against it, watching me through his hooded brown eyes.
“Where’s the bathroom, Brody?” I halt in my tracks, and he turns to me slowly.
“The bath house is just over there. The set-up of this house is set right up.” Brody’s points toward the sky and his play on words makes me pause after everything he says to try to find the simple meaning. He gestures with a wave of his hand to the large greenhouse-looking room off in the corner of the roof. It’s just mere inches from toppling right off the thin building, really. Beams of…are those books? Two fragile looking columns of literal literature hold up the structure that teeters out off of the side of the house.
Talk about a cliff hanger.
Neither of the two men hesitates as they stride right through the glass door. Brody flicks the cigarette to the ground before swinging open the foggy door for me.
My heels click uneasily against the slate gray flooring. On the far wall, leaning out over the edge of the house, sits a large bath. It’s one of those several person type baths which means it holds more water, more weight to come crashing down if those stacks of books give out beneath this room.
Perfect.
I swallow slowly before coming closer to the inviting hot water. The glass walls of the room are dotted with condensation, water trails down the sheets of glass, and twinkling lights blur from the city beyond.
It’s…odd but beautiful.
Once again, a door clicks closed with an announcing sound and I glance back at watchful brown eyes. Lighton leans against the door there. If I didn’t know Cat was a literal cat, I’d think Lighton was too just from the waiting look he’s giving me right now. He looks every bit ready to pounce.
I pause there looking at the two men who watch me intently.
“Do you want me to go first?” Brody shrugs out of his sleek black coat, revealing the soft material of his black button up.
My heels take a clicking step back.
“No.” I lift my hands, unsure what to do now that I’ve gotten myself into this fantasy of a situation. I can’t think of a better dream than having two sexy men slide into a bath with me. In reality, all of this is a bit fucking much. Deep down, I want to be carefree and sexy, but it’s hard to be that person when I have no real experience. It was easy to pull Austin, Texas, behind a tree and prepare for utter disappointment. I was drunk and had plotted the moment all week.
I’m painfully sober right now in front of these beautiful men.
“Can you just—turn around?”
Lighton passes Brody a look, and the shared moment makes them smile. The cat that got the canary is definitely in their features right now.
Slowly they both turn on their heels. Brody leans a shoulder against the glass wall while Lighton waits with his hands carefully tucked into his pockets.
The toe of one shoe presses against the back of the other, and I kick the heels off quickly. I don’t know why it feels like a race to undress before they turn around, but it does. My fingers shove off the socks caked in dry mud, and the moment I slip out of the destroyed dress, I feel lighter. And naked. Literally.
I dip into the hot bath as fast as my pounding heart will allow. It stings against my skin, but I submerge myself deeper, not even pausing to untangle the clips of the wig from my hair. It’s easier to just leave the messy wig on and relax for now. It feels amazingly soothing. I don’t look down at the steaming water though.
My gaze holds on them as they turn slowly around. Brody doesn’t undress, but he comes closer, touching his fingers lightly to the surface of the water. Pink light ripples out from his touch, and flower petals drift up around his palm, drifting out on the rings of shimmering pink until they’re spread all around me. The small rose petals skim against my skin, filling my nose with a beautiful scent that’s too strong to really be rose.
When I look up, Lighton’s eyes darken to an almost black color as he looks at me from across the small room. His hands fist in the collar of his black shirt, and he pulls it away within seconds. Hard lines veer down his stomach in delicious squares.
Shit.
I’ve never seen a man as muscular as Lighton naked.
And I’m about to now. I inhale deeply on a shaking breath, and the floral scent fills my lungs, making me cough just lightly.
His fingers shove down his black skinny jeans, taking his boxers with them in an instant.
“I guess you don’t want me to turn around,” I whisper more to myself than anyone.
“Mmm and miss the look on your face? Never.” His teeth sink into his lower lip as he strides toward me.
You know when someone points to an enemy, and you try real discreetly not to look but fail miserably? Lighton’s cock is the enemy right now.
I fail. Miserably.
My lashes flutter as I look to his face, down, look to his gorgeous face, look down, finally catch sight of—fuck. I swallow the moment I see it.
Fun fact that I haven’t admitted to anyone here: I’m a virgin.
Between being labeled the Sick Girl and losing my mom earlier this year, I’ve never had a normal sexual experience.
A rush of restless energy soars through my veins all at once, giving me a heady feeling as I breathe in the warm bath water. In this moment of knowing my cancer returned just last month, I want that experience.
And Lighton looks like the guy who wants to give it to me.
Even if I weren’t inexperienced—I mean, there was that time sophomore year of high school that Jared Porter fingered me for a grand total of four minutes in his car before dropping me off from our date, but that hardly counts—but even if I weren’t inexperienced, I’d think that Lighton’s is impressive. It arches up toward his lean stomach, and he smiles when I finally meet his eyes again.
“Like what you see?” He licks his lips slowly.
I close my mouth with a snap and wet my lips before pushing a look of indifference into my features. “I’ve seen better.”
I. Have. Not.
That casual smirk is still in place when he lifts his leg over the edge of the tub and sinks down at my side. An odd silver chain bracelet is all he wears, his arms spread out along the edge of the tub as he relaxes, his fingers nearly touching my shoulder. My lashes close slowly as I take a deep breath of the warm, intoxicating water. My fingers glide distractedly through the hundreds of red, glittering petals as another wave of strange, slow emotions swirl through me. It’s the most alluring but confusing sensation.
It’s a drunken energy that’s soothing and tiring all at the same time.
Brody comes closer, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. Tattoos line his left arm. A weird rabbit that reminds me of a nineties band is on his forearm with the green mushroom from Mario just beneath it and then other brightly colored whimsical animals and symbols drift up from his wrist and sneak beneath the line of his shirt sleeve. If I didn’t know he wasn’t a Jane Austen gentleman, I do now.
He sits at the edge of the bath, never undressing, only letting his fingers slice through the water, creating more and more pink blooming ripples with every move of his hand. When I look up at him, he’s inhaling another cigarette to his lips again. A perfect ring is blown out on a steady exhale. He sends ripples through the shimmering red petals, and another strong waft of that alluring scent fills my lungs. The smoke, the water, it’s all an addicting taste that I know I shouldn’t submerge myself into the way that I am.
My eyes close slowly once more. Brody led me here. He’s fully clothed and keeping a nice distance between us… I wonder if the look he passed Cat meant anything. I can’t really picture the two of them together. She’s too eccentric, and he’s too proper.
On and on my mind drifts about to most mundane things.
I wonder if Kais will join us for a bath soon… Everyone has to bathe sometime, right? Why am I so obsessed about his cleanliness all of a sudden?
Because I want him dirty…
Yeah. That’s definitely the real reason.
“You’re not the One-est One they’re looking for, are you, Madison?” Brody’s tone is calming as he takes another puff, his fingers trailing through the water between Lighton and the wall.
I blink up at him, and my mind feels tired now. Sleepy.
A smile pulls at my lips as I consider that title. One-est. One-east, Onest. Wontst. A giggle tumbles from my lips, and Lighton laughs maniacally with me, his slick fingers skimming down the side of my shoulder. At the small contact of his skin against mine, I come closer to him, my body drifting through the water that’s feeling a bit too thick now.
My body thrums when my legs meet his, and he wastes no time pulling me onto his lap. Tingles like I’ve never felt wash over me as cool air meets my breasts. Water trickles down my skin when I lift slightly to straddle myself over Lighton’s lean hips. He smiles that alluring smile of his, but his hands hold in place against my hips.
What I wouldn’t do to feel his hands all over. To let his fingertips explore every part of my body in the slowest possible way.
And then my core settles against the thickness of his cock.
Fuck his fingers. Fingers are overrated. This, this is what I never knew I needed. I shift over his length, letting the underside of his cock brush against my clit just right. We both exhale an unsteady breath, inhaling more of that sweet scent of the water.
“Is it big? It’s big isn’t it? What’s the average for men, eight, nine inches?” I whisper my question to him, my eyes widening as if it’s hard to keep focused on his gentle amber eyes.
Lighton and Brody both laugh at my words, but I don’t know why.
“Mmm, you’re just innocent enough to make me think you are Alice,” Lighton says in a quiet voice tinged with sadness. “I know Kais hopes you are. I hope you’re not.”
“Why?” I breathe out that word as his palms start to wash away the dirt against my skin. Long fingers glide along my throat, his thumb skimming against my jaw in such a delicate way it causes the air in my lungs to catch.
My thundering heart becomes louder when his fingers dip down, barely skimming the curve of my breast before coming back up to my collarbone.
My heartbeat is still fluttering even as he says the strangest thing. Stranger than usual, I mean.
“Because if you’re Alice, you’ll hate me soon enough.”

28%

I’m still staring down at the beautiful man with his confusing words and charming smile. He always says the most confusing things with the sweetest smile on his lips. I can’t make sense of it.
Nothing here makes sense. My head is pounding, and I can’t seem to think straight to save my life.
“You’re the hare, aren’t you?” My voice sounds far off, my mouth hovering just above his.
He’d be a good kisser, I bet.
“I’m a man. Sometimes. Sometimes I’m a man.”
His fingers catch in my wig, pulling at it until his brow creases.
“And sometimes?” My fingers push along the dark stubble of his jaw. The lighting flecks golden colors among the dark. Golden just like his long hair that’s tied back from his face. He has a man bun. I wonder if man buns were popular during the time he was on…what did Cat call it? The surface. I wonder if they were popular when he was on the surface or if he’s just naturally sexy like this.
“Sometimes I’m a man. Sometimes a rabbit. Sometimes I’m nothing more than smoke in the wind. Depends on what the occasion calls for. Job for the dress you want, not for the dress you have and all that.”
I arch an eyebrow at him, but a smile pulls at my lips.
Kais is the white rabbit obsessed with time, and Lighton is…that other manic one that drinks too much tea. The March Hare.
“So you are the hare?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” he whispers.
We’re smiling at one another, running our fingers all over each other’s bodies slowly until we’re just breathing each other in with the warm delicious floral scent of the water. His fingers hesitate when they slide over my collarbone. He holds my gaze as his fingertips trail lower and lower and lower, tracing down along the water droplets against my skin. The water and the feel of his light touch is enough to make me shiver.
His palm just grazes over my breast when the door opens, drifting cold wind over my heated skin instantly.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Kais’s glaring gaze shifts from Brody who’s watching me in his friend’s arms to Lighton who still hasn’t taken his eyes off of me to notice the angry man storming into the room.
“We’re questioning the enemy for you, of course,” Lighton says with that sensual smile pulling at his lips. White teeth give a full perfect smile among his scruffy beard, and my heart flutters at the sight of his happiness.
“Yes, this looks like a very standard interrogation.” Kais’s jaw tightens, and his stormy eyes only lose track of that anger for a second when his gaze dips low to follow the movement of Lighton’s fingertips sweeping so slowly across my nipple.
When my breath catches, Lighton smirks, his gaze held fully on me, focused for possibly the first time since I met him.
Lighton’s hands rise, and he wipes away something on my cheeks before pushing his fingers…under my wig instead of through my hair. Another crease of his brow as his hands stay locked in place between the clips and the mesh.
Oh. That’s awkward.
“She’s Alice, okay? Stop trying to fuck her before the King’s sister cuts your cock off. The numbers are red. She’s Alice.” Kais’s voice grows louder, interrupting the haze in my mind as I look up at the scowling man. “Her socks were white, her hair is blonde, you can see she’s Alice.”
And that’s the last straw.
With a huff, my fingers tangle into the matted blonde locks. My scalp stings as the clips pull against my hair. I actually really liked that wig. Strands of my hair had started to fall out just this week from the chemo. The wig was thick and beautiful where my hair was thinning.
I swallow down my self-consciousness at revealing my red hair that’s plastered against my head. It used to be so damn shiny. Long and beautiful. It’s still long, but it hasn’t been pretty since I was a little girl.
I toss that stupid wig and the little black headband at Kais’s feet. Before he can yell about it anymore, I dip my head under water. I slip away from Lighton and his fantastic cock and push my hands through my hair over and over and over again. I push at it until the sweat and the dirtiness is gone, and all that’s left is the sinking feeling that I’ll never be a normal woman. I’ll never be that pretty girl that gets to make fun mistakes with a guy like Lighton.
A part of me will always be that bitter Sick Girl.
When my face surfaces and I breathe in the steamy warm air, I’m met with the rage of Kais’s gaze.
“Are you fucking crazy? Put this shit back on before you get us all killed.”
I never thought he could be more on edge than he already was.
Until now.