A’s Reviews > The Moonhawker > Status Update

+ also good morning bub! I forgot to say that part lmao. How r u? I hope you have a good day today! I'm gonna go get a Red Bull Italian Soda now tysm x I will give further updates later lol

Good Fri morn bby! well, it is aft now I guess lol. I fell asleep at like 4-5 AM cuz I couldn't sleep & here we are. What a time to be alive! ("Sisyphus must imagine himself happy" 😭) what am I doing today? Don't know lol. Probably need to come up with some sort of plan to not go entirely broke. But that also feels A LOT like forced compliance and I hate dat! a great way to make me want to do the opposite 😂 maybe I'll start selling feet pics on the internet or something, there's got to be something lucrative there lol

For now, Red Bull Italian soda. With no Red Bull. Sub Lotus. Iykyk. The gold one. Desert pear & blue raspberry. Cream & whip. Thank me later! okay that's all for now, I'll update later if I have any revolutionary thoughts. Podcast of the day: The Telepathy Tapes (I never finished!) Miss you, I think of you every second of the day x

OH OH! Research topic for today: civil conspiracy 🥰

Okay quick little update before bed: I have eaten & am ready for a movie. I kinda wanna watch Bride of Frankenstein again but that shit was scary! We must watch together all cuddled in bed 💞 everything at home feels like it’s already yours too. So when I go to bed every night it’s like I’m sleeping in a bed that’s half empty? Idk if that makes sense. Gn my b x

Also I did want to say that it is important to remember I am not destitute. So when I joke about it, know that what I mean is something like having to liquidate some assets at a very high penalty, that I would rather have for retirement or reinvestment. Among other options. Regardless of anything else happening, that is still a situation of immense privilege and please don’t mistake my hyperbole.

& that is exactly why if anyone in the elder generation of my extended family thinks I will be protecting them from things they may or may not have done? Pffffft 🤣 IKYFL I will move out of the way so they can put the cuffs on you! I’ve watched most of them decline to be good people for decades. So I’m just saying, if I DID have a Thanos glove…(I am jk @ the Universe not a request but that is representative of my feelings about them a little ngl lol)

Since I’ve been doing a little private investigator research, funny story: I did in fact instruct my mom to immediately hire a minimum of two PIs if I ever go missing. & to have them interface w/ the cops directly so the investigation isn’t botched. This was at like 23 btw! Years & years ago. So not sure what’s wrong with me but she’s BEEN prepped lmao this is why I said fwm is a bad plan dude idk who gave them the whack intel! When I’m not so annoyed about it, it is pretty funny tbh

Some of my fav little-known facts about this author: he did not graduate high school due to dyslexia. He went back for his GED, and eventually worked his way through a Masters in Education. He quit smoking at 40 by eating like a carton of oranges a day. He *allegedly* made the world’s best chocolate sauce lol

Happy Sun bub! 💞 I’m glad all the smoke is gone & I’m no longer stressed about you being outside. I have nothing exciting to report today (not a complaint after yesterday lol) but I’ll be hanging out @ home, doing stuff around the house. I think it’s a Hamburger Helper night 😋

In the name of you looking good af lately, here are a list of athletic things you may not be aware I’m not terrible at. That does not mean I want to do them on a regular basis. uk who you fell in love with x 😂 Thank u. Enjoy
1. Ride horses, with minimal assistance/direction. I’m comfy (I was thrown off of one once as a kid while camping in SD, which I predicted beforehand by warning my dad I was anxious about riding a horse like never before lol. I was okay! Just a slightly scratched up back. Somehow did not end up w/ a fear of horses)
2. Extremely adept swimmer. Not just good. I know all the crawls, I can do the underwater flip turn, high dive. I took a test once where I had to tread water no handed for like 45 mins. Unclear what that was for 😂 (I do love the water. It has never scared me so this one is easy to get me to agree to in good weather)
3. I have a pretty mean tennis serve. However not a fan of the part after where you have to chase the ball!
4. This does not count as athletic but I have taken several Segway tours. Like of cities while on family vacation. I know a Segway tour hates to see my fam coming lmao

Separate note: I would recommend that my extended family members take this final opportunity to be honest with their kids and loved ones. Because I will be. They have internet access and brains. They are all well into adulthood & deserve to make their own decisions based on the facts. So for the 500 millionth time since childhood, I have to step up and be the adult in the room with y’all. The cycle should have ended with you, but it WILL end with me. We all deserved better.