Melly’s Reviews > Pet Sematary > Status Update

Jud, I know you’re old and you got problems, but if you thought Louis was going to dig his son up why didn’t you stake out the cemetery instead of his GD driveway

“They lay together in the dark, crowded into Louis’s single.” You emeffers sleep in separate beds like The Flintstones? New England is weird af.

And he LITTERS. What an ASShole.

“It had not been a heart attack. It had been a cerebral accident…”

We KNOW. We know because you told us it would happen a little ways back, apropos of heckin NOTHING.

Normally I wouldn’t be looking forward to an animal’s (second) death but even now Louis is acting weird as hell about neutering his cat.

He’s an it not because he’s a zombie, but because he got the snip?

Could you not? Sir. If you could not, please. Bob Barker taught you better than this.