Julie Padgett’s Reviews > Non-Toxic Masculinity: Recovering Healthy Male Sexuality > Status Update

“As with all things, Jesus does not fit into the box conservatives or progressives put him in to suit their ideological agendas. Jesus is too busy being Lord of the universe to be co-opted for someone’s culture war.”

“The idea that men aren’t, can’t, or shouldn’t be nurturing is toxic.”

“Together and in equal partnership with their mother, a father is responsible for the entirety of his children’s well-being, not just their financial needs or physical safety.”

“Parents are equally expected to provide for, protect, and nurture their children. When men take care of their children, they are acting like fathers, not stepping in to fill the mother’s “role.” When a man changes a diaper, he does so because he loves his children, not because he’s doing his wife a favor.”

“Too often the misinterpretation and misapplication of biblical passages are used to create and sustain a system of female sexual subservience and male sexual entitlement in Christian marriage.”

“Toxic masculinity is all about male entitlement—to power, space, freedom, preference, and pleasure.”

“We must take sin seriously. Too often, when we say we’re forgiving someone, we’re sweeping sin under the rug to preserve harmony, balance of power, and a façade of peace in the community. True redemptive forgiveness cannot function without proper systems of accountability.”

“We’ve often misunderstood the Christian call to forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean withholding punishment and shielding abusers from legal accountability. Nor does it mean that predatory youth leaders are allowed to stay in ministry, or that women should be encouraged to stay with their abusive husbands, or that children should spend time with their pedophile fathers.”

“We must replace dehumanizing teachings and practices with those that dignify women. This includes the way pastors speak from the pulpit, as well as the rules and advice presented on how men and women should interact. We must take seriously allegations of sexual abuse. We must heed the biblical call to elevate the plight of the oppressed, including abused and mistreated wives.”

“Purity culture often focuses on creating external regulations for people’s behavior. When the community is overly rigorous in enforcing purity standards and people’s behavior is controlled *for them*, it deprives them of the opportunity to learn to *control themselves*.”