Cristina Ionela’s Reviews > Ține-ți copiii aproape: De ce părinții trebuie să conteze mai mult decât anturajul > Status Update

…parents should never lie to their children. Lies, however innocently intended, cannot protect a child from pain. There is something in us that knows when we are lied to, even if that awareness never reaches consciousness.

We need to give children something to grasp, something to hold dear, something they can take to heart and not want to let go of. Whatever we provide must come from us or be ours to give. And whatever we give our children, the key is that in holding on to it, they will be holding on to us.

If we appreciated the powerful feelings sexuality can unleash, we would be appropriately nervous at the outset. Sex should be both revered and feared, evoke both anticipation and apprehension, be a cause for both celebration and caution.

The psychologically immature are incapable of thinking of anything but the pleasure of the moment. To make good decisions, one must be capable of feeling both fear and desire simultaneously.

Without a functioning trigger in the brain for alarm a person's impulses to attack are likely to erupt in violent forms.
The impact of alcohol illustrates this relationship. The sense of alarm that holds aggressive impulses in check is numbed by alcohol…

Only when the futility sinks in and we apprehend on the deepest emotional level the impossibility of preserving physical and emotional contact with someone forever gone from our lives do the tears come and adaptation begins. This process may take years.

We often learn to hide our tears as adults, but the impulse to cry is hardwired to feelings of futility…

The tears of futility are set off by different neurological circuitry and are psychologically unique…

They are accompanied by a shift in energy: a backing-off from trying to change things…

They signal that the brain truly apprehends that something is not working and must be let go of.

Peter could not assimilate the idea of work because the concept requires mixed feelings.
Work is often not very attractive, but we generally do it because we can mix our resistance to it in the moment with a commitment purpose we may have in mind for the long term.

Carl Jung explained that we tend to attack in others what we are most uncomfortable with in ourselves. When vulnerability is the enemy, it is attacked wherever it is perceived, even in a best friend.

Figuring out what we want has to begin with having the freedom to not want.