Zhou’s Reviews > Revenge > Status Update

The kiwis in particular grew so thick that on moonlit nights when the wind was blowing, the whole hillside would tremble as though covered with a swarm of dark green bats. At times I found myself thinking they might fly away at any moment.

特にキーウイは枝がたわむほどで、風の強い月夜などは、深緑色のコウモリが何匹も何匹も、ゆさゆさと丘を揺らしているように見えた。何かの拍子に彼らがいっせいに飛び立ちはしないかと、心配になることもあった。

いくつもいくつも、彼女はキーウイを食べた。飢えた子供たちがむしゃぶりつくように、あるいは病んだ老婆が嘔吐するように食べた。アイロンのかかったブラウスも、美しても、すぐにベタベタになった。

Snyder tr: she stood there eating kiwis, one after another. She consumed them like a starving child, dizzy with hunger. Her carefully ironed blouse and her beautiful hands grew sticky.

This translation is so lacking. She was basically DEVOURING the kiwis and sucking on it intensely, like an old crone regurgitating.

「彼女にはそうした密やかさがとてもよく似合っていた。色白の肌や、真っすぐで長い髪の毛や、うつむいた時できる目元の陰が、侵しがたい静寂を醸し出していた。」

"The pale skin, the long, straight hair, the shadows under her eyes when she bowed her head — it all lent her a kind of tranquility that I think we didn't want to disturb"

Somehow "shadows under her eyes" in the English translation felt like eyebags LOL. Also I would have translated "didn't want to disturb" as an "inviolable quietness"...