Zala’s Reviews > Pyramids > Status Update
Zala
is 52% done
‘No. I would be failing in my duty to the king,’ said Dios.
‘For goodness sake, Dios, you know I am the king!’
‘No. I have a very clear picture of the king. You are not the king,’ said the priest.
— Aug 19, 2026 02:05PM
‘For goodness sake, Dios, you know I am the king!’
‘No. I have a very clear picture of the king. You are not the king,’ said the priest.
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Zala
is 96% done
’That doesn’t make any difference, does it?’ she whispered.
Teppic stared at his feet.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I think it does, really.’ He looked up at her. ‘But you can be queen’
— Aug 19, 2026 02:46PM
Teppic stared at his feet.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I think it does, really.’ He looked up at her. ‘But you can be queen’
Zala
is 90% done
’Memory is the first thing that goes. The pyramids don’t seem to preserve it, strangely.’
— Aug 19, 2026 02:37PM
Zala
is 82% done
‘You’ve been here before, haven’t you?’ it said accusingly.
‘No.’
‘Then someone’s been talking, right?’
‘Who could have talked? Has anyone ever guessed the riddle?’ said Teppic.
‘No!’
‘Well, then. They couldn’t have talked, could they?’
— Aug 19, 2026 02:32PM
‘No.’
‘Then someone’s been talking, right?’
‘Who could have talked? Has anyone ever guessed the riddle?’ said Teppic.
‘No!’
‘Well, then. They couldn’t have talked, could they?’
Zala
is 80% done
”Across various dimensions it had provided the Sphinx with considerable entertainment and innumerable meals.
This was not known to Teppic as he led You Bastard through the swirling mists, but the bones he crunched underfoot gave him enough essential detail.”
gotta love you bastard
— Aug 19, 2026 02:30PM
This was not known to Teppic as he led You Bastard through the swirling mists, but the bones he crunched underfoot gave him enough essential detail.”
gotta love you bastard
Zala
is 62% done
”’the gods. . . well, you know, there’s a very real need in people to believe, don’t get me wrong here-‘
Koomi, even with his head buzzing with thoughts of perfidy, was quicker on the uptake than his colleagues.
‘Get him, lads!’ he shouted.
Four priests grabbed the luckless cutlery worshipper by his arms and legs and gave him a high-speed run […] into the mud-coloured waters of the Djel.”
— Aug 19, 2026 02:17PM
Koomi, even with his head buzzing with thoughts of perfidy, was quicker on the uptake than his colleagues.
‘Get him, lads!’ he shouted.
Four priests grabbed the luckless cutlery worshipper by his arms and legs and gave him a high-speed run […] into the mud-coloured waters of the Djel.”
Zala
is 60% done
”Drifting gently sideways wasnt IIa’s only problem. He was also flat. Not flat like a card, with a front, back and edge - but flat from any direction.”
— Aug 19, 2026 02:13PM
Zala
is 47% done
”The original builders, who were of course ancients and therefore wise, knew this very well and the whole point of a correctly-built pyramid was to achieve absolute null time in the central chamber so that a dying king, tucked up there, would indeed live forever - or at least, never actually die.”
— Aug 19, 2026 02:03PM
Zala
is 40% done
’I could not help noticing, Dios, excuse me if I am wrong, a certain flourish in the translation there.’
The priest looked surprised.
‘Indeed no, sire. I was most precise in relaying your decision, saving only to refine the detail in accordance with precedent and tradition.’
— Aug 17, 2026 05:05PM
The priest looked surprised.
‘Indeed no, sire. I was most precise in relaying your decision, saving only to refine the detail in accordance with precedent and tradition.’
Zala
is 28% done
’She is Queen Khat-leon-ra-pta,’ said Dios. ‘She wins the kingdom of Howandaland by stealth. This is the time of the Second Empire.’
‘But she is dead?’ said Teppic.
‘I understand so,’ said the high priest, after the slightest of pauses. Yes. The past tense definitely bothered Dios.
— Aug 17, 2026 04:58PM
‘But she is dead?’ said Teppic.
‘I understand so,’ said the high priest, after the slightest of pauses. Yes. The past tense definitely bothered Dios.
Zala
is 23% done
’I expect youve seen a lot of changes,’ he said politely.
A look of pain passed over the old priest’s face, but quickly, as if it was in a hurry to get away. ‘No, sire, he said smoothly, I have been very fortunate.’
— Aug 17, 2026 04:53PM
A look of pain passed over the old priest’s face, but quickly, as if it was in a hurry to get away. ‘No, sire, he said smoothly, I have been very fortunate.’