Status Update

january is 62% done

She was a girl, he was the Dark One, can I make it anymore obvious 🎵

— Aug 20, 2026 01:24PM

2 likes · Like flag

january’s Previous Updates

january is 88% done

If they handed out medals on planet stupid, you’d be an olympian

— Aug 22, 2026 05:30AM

january is 79% done

Someone stop this girl from making any more choices

— Aug 21, 2026 02:25PM

january is 72% done

Why do they always have to talk like that, yikes

Also, imagine getting dry fingered in the dark while surrounded by at least four guards, and thinking none of them would notice

— Aug 21, 2026 01:52PM

january is 44% done

Not Hawke dispensing fortune cookie wisdom and her going ‘this is the deepest shit I’ve ever heard’

— Aug 17, 2026 02:34PM

january is 42% done

I can imagine few worse nights than watching a guy get his guts pulled through his open stomach and getting edged by a guy named Hawke

— Aug 17, 2026 11:21AM

january is 25% done

Chat, is it wrong to lust over your new sexy bodyguard at the funeral of your last bodyguard?

— Aug 13, 2026 01:04PM

january is 19% done

Did you geniuses just spend 4 pages speculating about who could have been the murderer only to drop the explanation in the last line like it was common knowledge?

— Aug 12, 2026 04:39AM

january is 16% done

Well I’m CRAVEN a better book tbh

— Aug 11, 2026 02:26PM

january is 11% done

This man came to suck a tiddy, and suck a tiddy he did

— Aug 10, 2026 01:03PM

january is 9% done

Guess I’m in for another round of “Man” - The Book

— Aug 10, 2026 12:48PM