arisha ౨ৎ’s Reviews > Spearcrest Saints > Status Update

“I know you better than I know my own soul. I know every expression on your face like they are the lines of my favourite poems. Everything you think you keep hidden from the world, you can never quite hide from me. The beautiful things—your determination, your strength, your gentle soul—but the ugly things, too. Your ambition, your pain, your fear. Your desire. They’re naked to my eyes.”

“You don’t love me,” she hastens to say as if hoping to do some damage control—as if the idea of me loving her is damage that needs to be controlled.

“No,” I answer without shame. The balance of calm and emotion has tipped now. I’m as calm as a sea after a storm; her eyes are wide with panic. “I absolutely, undeniably, inexorably love you.”

omg😭😭 a man who’s shamelessly in love

“I love you atrociously.” He smiles, the hue of desire in his expression shifting, darkening into a sort of yearning melancholy. “I love you with every atom of my being, and I love every atom of yours. I love you desperately, like a starving man. I love you to distraction. And I think maybe you love me too, Theodora Dorokhova. You just aren’t quite ready to say it yet.”

my heart🥹🥹

“It’s not wasted at all,” he says instead, with that easy Blackwood confidence. “I could spend a fortune of flirtation on you, Theodora, and it would still not be a waste. I could lay treasures of compliments and tenderness at your feet like offerings to a cruel goddess, and you could ignore them all, and I would never once regret any of it.”

HES SO😭😭😭

“For the first time, we won’t have to see our names next to each other’s at the top of the boards.”

“What a shame,” he murmurs. “It was a bittersweet sight, but I’ve always thought our names look good next to each other’s.”

🥹🥹

“And what if you can never have her?” It’s a good question—one I’ve thought of often, alone at night in my bed, hard and tense with frustration and desire and despair.“

“Then life is going to hurt like a bitch.”

he’s gonna wait for her😭😭

“I’m not setting my sights on anyone. Theodora is the only one worthy of my desire. I couldn’t set my sights on anybody else if I tried. She and I are fated somehow. Anything else would be doomed by principle.”

🥹🥹💖

“Is having no girlfriend a social construct, too, then?”

“I don’t need a girlfriend,” I tell her in my most dignified tone. “I have a beautiful rival instead.”

AAW🥹🥹 he’s crushing so hard

he spent the entire night annotating peter pan because its her favorite book😭😭🥹

“My beautiful nemesis. My formidable adversary. My dearest rival.”

fuck i love them