Lexie Carroll’s Reviews > Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life > Status Update

In the 1st half of life, the negative, the mysterious, the scary & the problematic are always exported elsewhere. Doing so gives us a quick & firm ego structure that works for awhile. But such splitting is not an objective statement of truth! It is just helpful for our private purposes. Eventually, this overcompensation in 1 direction must be resolved & balanced- this brings integration, growth, maturity & holiness.

In your 2nd half of life you can bless others in what they feel they must do, but you can no longer join them in the first half of life. You can belong to such institutions for all the good that they do, but you no longer put all your eggs in that one basket. This will keep you and others from unnecessary frustration & anger, and from knocking on doors that cannot be opened from the other side.

The reminder that groups & institutions are 1st half of life structures is not meant to discourage you, but to keep you from losing hope (due to false expectations). Don’t expect/demand from groups what they usually cannot give- will make you needlessly angry & reactionary. They must and WILL be concerned with identity, boundaries, self maintenance/perpetuation, & self congratulation. It is their nature & purpose.

Institutions must, by necessity, be concerned with membership requirements, policies, procedures, protocols, and precedents. If they are working organizations, they need to have supervision & management, rules for promotion & salaries, and concerned about lawsuits & litigation. We would resent them even more if they did not do these things well- but these are nevertheless ego needs and not soul needs.

The Saint is precisely the one who has no “I” to protect or protect. Their “I” is in unconscious union with the “I AM” of God, and that is more than enough. Divine union overrides any need for self-hatred or self-rejection; these people just try to be in right relationship. Shadow work literally saves you from yourself (your false self), which is the foundational meaning of salvation to begin with.

Shadow work is humiliating work, but properly so. If you do not “make friends with judges & courtrooms” (Matt.5:25)- (ie, all those who reveal & convict you of your own denied faults), you will surely remain in the 1st half of life forever. “Shadowboxing” continues until the end of life, with the only difference being we are no longer surprised by our surprises or so totally humiliated by our humiliations.

We all have a persona (Gk. “Stage mask”) constructed in the 1st half of life. It is not bad, evil, or necess. egocentric, it is just not “true”. It is manufactured unconsciously by your mind. Persona & Shadow are co-relative terms. Your shadow is what you refuse to see about yourself and what you do not want others to see. The more cultivated/protected your persona, the more shadow work you will need to do.

In the 2nd Half of Life, we do not have strong & final opinions about everything, every event, or most people, as much as we allow things & people to delight us, or sadden us, & truly influence us. We no longer need to change or adjust other people to be happy ourselves. Ironically, we are, more than ever before, in a position to change people- but we do not NEED to, and that makes all the difference.

“I must sadly admit that I am still rather impatient with people who do not see things this way. It took me a long time to get here myself, so I have learned to be more patient & compassionate over time. I don’t need to push the river as much now, or own the river, or get everybody in my precise river. Nor do others have to name the river the same way I do in order for me to trust them or their goodwill.”

People who are so certain always seem, like Hamlet’s Queen, to “protest too much” & try too hard. (It is probably necessary to eliminate most doubt when we are young- doing so is a good survival technique. But such worldviews are not true- and they are not wisdom. To hold the full mystery of life is always to endure its other half, which is the equal mystery of death & doubt.