Jamie’s Reviews > The Calamity Club > Status Update

“There is no feeling lonelier than knowing the people you love won’t even remember your name soon.”

Meemaw’s cattle prod! 😂

“He told me he had a girlfriend and that she’s swell. It was all I could do not to say ‘me too, son.’”

“If I told on Lucille, she would return me so fast, my eyelids would flap from the speed of the car flying.“

“We’re testing you and everybody else to make sure you ain’t got cooties.”

“Here is what I learned when it is your turn to wash. Sometimes you wash the spoon. Sometimes the spoon washes you. So be sure to put an apron on. “

“If I drink up a little lake, it is bound to be alright. Considering the fish drink it up daily.”

“It is a relief to unstuck that rubber swim cap off my head. It makes a good thuck sound.”

“Eat first, thank after. Otherwise you’re just praying for the blessing to be over.”

“There were Christian people and there were good people. But the two didn’t neccesarily always overlap.”

“I prayed to baby Jesus to ease my bourbon headache.”