Mrs Calloway’s Reviews > How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child > Status Update

What you do next can change the past a little bit because your response changes the context of the original mistake.

The mistake has happened; you can’t erase it. The really important thing in the moment isn’t what you do now in the context of having made the mistake.

All solutions have to start somewhere. If you look for the next tiny movement in the right direction that will get you back on track, you were actually taking a huge step.

The overly critical part of your mind will make you feel like anything less than an immediate full solution is a failure. Instead of listening to it, try to engage your sensible, reasonable thinking, ignoring that false perfectionism and seeking what’s possible under the circumstances. This is adaptability, the ability to respond objectively moment to moment of changing realities.

It’s not up to you to solve the whole thing with one action, because that’s usually impossible. You have to work it out in steps. But by engaging in a series of small right actions, you eventually can reach the best possible solution, given everything that has happened.

In complex situations, we usually can’t discern the whole solution right away because too many things are going on all at once. So often, we are stuck with remedies after the fact. At that point, our only realistic option is to find the next right thing we can do under the circumstances. With a moment reflection, you can usually identify at least one thing you can do to make the situation a little better right away

You’re kind and loving behaviour makes your child feel close to you and want to please you. When we choose to be considerate and work with our child respectfully, we can have a good relationship with them all our live lives. That is totally within your control.

When you become self accepting about not having control over everything, you will be a calmer, wiser, and more resilient parent. There is much in parenting that’s not up to us. Your child is not a machine but a living individual with their own path. You can’t control the outcome that you want for them, but you can teach them things and you can influence the quality of your relationship with them.

Do what you can, make your best plans with the limited information you have, and respect your limits as a fallible human being. When you exemplify that attitude, you help your child develop a realistic philosophy about what we can and can’t control in life, so they can deal with life surprises and disappointments without excessive self blame or self criticism.

We often grasp for a new idea long before we are able to implement it. The process of maturation guarantees that we will always know better before we can do better.