average human’s Reviews > Avada Kedavra > Status Update

“Lift your chin, narrow your eyes, and strut to your seat,” Sirius murmured quietly as Harry felt the beginnings of panic spotting his forehead with perspiration. “Now.”

Harry didn’t stop to question it. He just lifted his chin, narrowed his eyes, and strutted over to the Slytherin table. Susan immediately scooted down a little, making sure Harry had plenty of space in his old seat.

The other students were deathly silent as they watched Harry, until Snape cleared his throat pointedly from the Head Table and sent an acidic glower across the hall.

“Prats,” Susan murmured as conversations picked back up at a much higher level than they had been. She turned to Harry and smiled, “Not you, of course.”

“Why’re they l-looking at me?” Harry breathed, turning his head so only Susan could read his lips.

Did they know? In some part of their hearts, did they know Harry was a ghost?

“You’re a hero, again,” Susan murmured back. “Framed for murder, unfairly arrested, imprisoned, then released? They think you’re a bloody hero, Harry.”

“Abracadabra,” Harry whispered. He turned back to the others and gave them an uncertain test smile.

His test failed, as nobody smiled back.

Except Trent.

“I’ve got so much to tell you,” Trent said eagerly with a huge smile. “You first though, what have you been doing?”

“Nothing,” Harry said truthfully. He crept one hand up on the table and reached for the pitcher of water, sloshing it as his hands shook roughly.

“I’ll get it,” Theo said, taking the pitcher from Harry and quickly pouring him a glass.

“Here,” Ron slid Harry an overflowing plate of food.

“Coffee?” Draco offered him.

“Or tea?” Neville said.

Harry tucked both hands beneath his legs and stared at them all incredulously.

“You’re making him think he’s dreaming again,” Luna hummed quietly. “You aren’t,” she added to Harry. “Except, I suppose life is what you make it, so it’s a bit like all of us are dreaming all the time, aren’t we?”

Harry blinked.

“Don’t say that to him,” Hermione snapped at Luna with a scowl. “He’s already confused.”

Harry blinked again as a full blown argument broke out between Hermione, Luna, Theo, and Draco.

Then he got up and walked right back out of the room.



Harry nearly made it to the main entrance when quiet feet caught up with him and he looked over to see Blaise walking beside him, a small smirk of amusement on his face.

“You sure know how to create chaos,” he drawled. “Hermione called Luna a ‘twit’ and Susan drew her wand.”

Harry nodded. That sounded right.

“Where are we off to?” Blaise asked as he followed Harry outside.

“Forest,” Harry said shortly.

Blaise glanced over at Harry, his brows turned upward in amusement. “Do you have two?”

Harry stopped mid-step and furrowed his own brows at Blaise. “Two what?”

“Two cigarettes, fags,” Blaise said. “I presume that was why we were headed to the forest?”

“Did... did I say that?” Harry asked, his nerves skyrocketing now. He didn’t think he did. But he couldn’t go to classes today, be around people period, if he kept spouting off every mad thing he thought.

“No,” Blaise said with a casual shrug. “It was a guess.”

“Good,” Harry sighed. He resumed his stroll towards the forest and begrudgingly gave Blaise a small grin. “I’ve g-got a whole pack. Snape bought them.”

Blaise laughed, bright and loud and happy. “Harry Potter, master of the impossible,” he said. “Let’s freeze to death while we poison our bodies and I’ll fill you in on the hot gossip you’ve missed.”

Harry propped himself against a tree and passed Blaise the little muggle lighter that he nicked from Sirius and the pack of cigarettes that Snape bought him when he said he was ‘sick of Harry mooching off Black’. Harry watched as Blaise swung his hand around, his cigarette mostly burning itself out, while he told Harry endless gossip that Harry had missed.

Harry listened, a bit. Mostly he just focused on moving the smoke in and out of his lungs, imagining it swirling to his hands and easing the trembling in his fingers.

“And of course Padma’s been looking everywhere for you.”

“What?” Harry refocused on Blaise at that sudden shift from Ron and Daphne’s tension since their Valentine’s Day date to this new topic. “P-Padma?”

“The female Ravenclaw twin in our year,” Blaise said. He stomped lightly on his cigarette as Harry lit himself a second one. “She said the two of you struck a deal of some sort and she has something for you.”

Harry inhaled and tried to rack his memory for a deal he struck with a female twin before shaking his head. “Dunno,” he said, mystified by the statement. “I’ll ask her later.”

“You do that,” Blaise winked. “Shall we head to class or are we skipping?”

Harry gave the half smoked cigarette in his hand a longing look before dropping it by his feet and stamping it out. “Class, I guess.” He ran his hands through his hair, patting it down to the best of his abilities. “D-do I look alright?”

“A bit pale and scrawny, but reasonably handsome,” Blaise said, causing Harry to snort a little.

Of course he was scrawny, he’d lost enough weight since he’d been arrested that he could see his rib bones when he’d gotten dressed that morning. And obviously he was pale, all ghosts were.

Harry and Blaise were nearly back to the castle when Blaise stopped him and put a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“You’re not a ghost,” he said quietly. “You’re Harry, the same Harry you always were.”

Harry looked at his dark golden eyes, so genuine without any hint of their usual playfulness, and squashed the urge to laugh. “Ta,” he said instead. “Let’s get this sh-shit over with.”

Blaise chuckled and the awkward moment passed. “You look more like an inferi anyway,” he said as they passed back through the giant castle doors. “More ‘reanimated zombie’ and less ‘lost soul haunting the earth’.”

“P-prat,” Harry grinned.

“G-g-git,” Blaise faux-stammered with a wink and a smirk.



Harry arrived to potions a few minutes late and felt heat creeping up his neck as his arrival turned everyone’s attention to him in the classroom.

“Harry!” Professor Slughorn cried. He got up from his desk and strode quickly to where Harry was frozen in place, grabbing Harry’s hand in his larger and meatier ones and shaking it quickly. “Dear boy, I can’t tell you how pleased I am to have you back. How are you?”

Harry would say ‘fine’ three more times before he refused to answer that question ever again.

“Fine,” he said. Harry looked around the room, tilting his head around Slughorn and sighed quietly at the lack of dementors or ghosts. Though he did blanch to see that Theo and Hermione were partnered, and Ron and Daphne were partnered, which left Harry to partner with Draco.

Harry bit his tongue as his mind fuzzed over while he stared at Draco.

Draco was never in Azkaban. Draco was at Hogwarts. Lucius was at Azkaban. And he’s out now too. He’s at home, with Cissa. You saw him last night.

“...get started.”

Harry blinked away the white spots threatening his vision and looked at Slughorn. “I’m s-sorry, sir. What?”

Slughorn didn’t look put out by Harry’s odd behavior, he just smiled broadly and put his hand on Harry’s shoulder, guiding him towards the seat beside Draco. “I said that you missed the testing portion for the Polyjuice, but you and Draco earned full points on the project. If you have a seat, we’ll get started. I think you’ll enjoy today’s lesson,” he winked.

Harry sat on the edge of his seat, gripping the table with tense and white knuckles. He glanced to his left and twitched at the sight of Draco. Everything was beginning to feel fuzzy now.

Draco.

Slughorn’s voice.

Harry’s skin.

“Ow.” Harry hissed as Draco abruptly leant towards him and pinched his thigh rather hard. He glared at Draco, but Draco just shook his head and tilted his head towards Harry, turning a bit so his mouth was directly by Harry’s ear.

“Not a dream,” he whispered. “Not a ghost, either.”

“I know that,” Harry hissed back at him.

Though, after listening to Slughorn outline the steps for the new potion they’d be working on, Amortentia, Harry looked over at Draco again and gave him a grateful nod. Draco grinned shyly and Harry felt the fuzz prickling his skin dissipate a little.



When potions ended, in which Harry did a lot of pointing at instructions while Draco prepped ingredients, Harry was abruptly surrounded by his friends.

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Hermione said with a blush. She hesitantly grabbed Harry’s hand and he relished in the grounding feeling of her soft fingers in his. “Are you upset?”

“No,” he said truthfully.

Theo gave Harry a true smile, a spark of joy deep in his brown eyes. “Come on, let’s get to defense.”

“He’s missed you,” Hermione whispered to Harry, explaining Theo’s odd joy.

How long had Harry been gone? It felt like years, decades even, but... but he’d taken his potion just a few days ago, so it could only be...

“It’s the sixteenth, you’ve been gone a month and two days,” Ron said.

Harry turned to scowl at Ron, misplacing his annoyance at his own inability to shut the hell up on to Ron, then faltered when he saw Ron’s face. He stopped in the middle of the corridor, causing his friends to stop with him, and narrowed his eyes at Ron’s droopy face.

“What happened?” Harry asked flatly.

Ron caught Harry’s eyes then averted his gaze to the side. He shrugged while his tell-tale ears turned red. “Nothing important,” he muttered.

Harry didn’t move. He waited. His hand also subconsciously floated to his pocket, fingering the cool mirror in his pocket.

“For God’s sake,” Draco huffed. “Ron’s upset because something happened with Daphne on his oh so romantic Valentine’s Day date and now they’re as awkward as first years. Was that so difficult?” he asked Ron.

“I said it wasn’t important,” Ron grit out, his cheeks now as red as his ears.

“Why isn’t it imp-important?” Harry asked curiously, slowly resuming their walk to defense at Hermione’s gentle tug.

Ron shrugged and looked like he was attempting to hide his ears with his shoulders. “More important things going on, aren’t there, mate?”

Harry looked around them, quickly checking for dementors or ghosts, then turned back to Ron. “Er... n-not really, no.”

Theo, inexplicably, snickered and threw his arm over Harry’s shoulder. Harry tried not to lean in to the touch, trying hard to be as aloof and carefree as he was sure he had been when he’d been alive, but Theo tightened his arm and stepped closer to him, so Harry probably failed.

“He means you, Harry,” Theo muttered as they joined the more busy corridor leading up to Sirius’ classroom. “He thinks it would be selfish to talk about his relationship problems when you just got out of fucking Azkaban.”

“Oh.”

Susan, Blaise, Neville, and were waiting for them at the doorway of the defense classroom though, dropping Harry’s thoughts of Ron’s relationship problems out of his mind.

“Sorry about this morning,” Susan breathed, throwing her arms around Harry’s neck and hugging him. Harry, who had one hand held by Hermione, and his other arm pinned by Theo, had a mad desire to laugh at the amount of people flinging themselves on him today.

Harry bit his tongue hard enough to taste a small amount of blood when Susan pulled herself off him. If he didn’t bite his tongue, he might have asked her to keep holding on to him, and they had class, so that would be mad.

Theo also dropped his arm, and Hermione let go of his hand, and Harry was suddenly floating. He looked down at his feet with detached curiosity, but they looked like they were still attached to the stone floors.

His vision couldn’t be trusted though.

He still saw Lily Potter stalking him with ice in her eyes and daggers in her hands when he turned a corner too quickly.

“Ow!” Harry looked up from his feet and met Susan’s teal eyes right in his face. He brought a hand up to rub at his neck. “Did you pinch me?”

“It worked,” Susan shrugged with a cheeky grin. She offered Harry her arm, “Come on, darliiiiing, let’s go learn some top notch defense, hmm?”

Harry shuffled his feet, ensuring that he was walking and not floating, and then linked his arm with Susan’s with a nod.

Sirius was bouncing on the balls of his feet in the front of the classroom as everyone made their way inside. Susan went to lead Harry to their old table up front, but Harry pulled on her arm lightly and went to a corner table in the back.

He knew ghosts could float through walls, so they could float right through him when they were ready to show themselves again, but dementors couldn’t. If a dementor came in through the door or the windows behind Sirius, Harry would be the first to see it.

“Good morning!” Sirius called brightly to everyone, ending the unsubtle glances the other students were shooting Harry. “Today we’re shifting our focus from vampires to-” Sirius tapped the chalkboard beside him with his wand, causing a whole boards worth of information to appear, “inferi,” he said.

Harry glanced towards Blaise, who was seated with Neville. Blaise winked and Harry felt a small grin settle on his lips.

Harry traced the worn wooden pattern of the desk as Sirius spoke about inferi. How they were made, how they were killed, the best way to protect yourself if you came face to face with them.

You couldn’t be an inferi.

Harry touched his pocket and felt the outline of the muggle lighter that technically belonged to the Professor lecturing in the front of the room, and nodded to himself.

He couldn’t be an inferi, Blaise was joking.

Harry tapped Susan’s wrist, interrupting her tidy scribble as she took notes. He pulled the quill free from her fingers and wrote a note on the bottom of her parchment:

Do I look more like an inferi or ghost?

Susan bit her lower lip to stifle a laugh as she took her quill back.

Neither. You look like a normal wizard named Harry Potter.

Harry grinned when she handed him back the quill.

Ugh, that’s worse really.

Susan’s giggle interrupted Sirius, who quirked a brow at them. “Everything good, Harry, Susan?”

“Yes, sir,” Susan said politely while Harry nodded.

They shared a secret smile after Sirius went back to talking that made Harry think that coming back to Hogwarts had been a decent decision after all.



Until after class anyway, when Harry had been caught off guard and abruptly shoved in to a wall by a sneering Finnigan.

“You think you’re a big shot because you got released?” he said, right in Harry’s face, as other students stopped to witness the spectacle. “We all know you deserved to be there!”

Yeah.

Harry was well aware of that. What he wasn’t aware of was...

“Who m-made it your fuckin’ b-business?” Harry scowled, pushing Finnigan out of his face and knocking him back a couple steps.

“It’s my ‘b-b-business’ when a bloody murderer is roaming around Hogwarts!” Finnigan yelled, drawing a laugh from a few of the watching students as he mimicked Harry’s stammer.

“Careful, Seamus,” Susan said, stepping up beside Harry as he grit his jaw and bit his tongue, hard. “Be a shame if one of us earned some time in Azkaban.”

Finnigan, who really was every bit the brash and hot-headed Gryffindor that everyone described him as, side-stepped Susan to glare directly at Harry. “You look rough, Potter,” he sneered. He looked Harry over from top to bottom and curled his lip as he obviously found him lacking. “I guess the dementors didn’t want your autograph?”

Harry automatically looked around. There weren’t any dementors, but there was a hell of an audience watching him. “I suppose you do?” Harry drawled, trying to force some scorn in his voice to replace the hesitancy that the whole situation filled him with. Was he really in a fight on his first day back? “Is that a G-Gryffindor thing?” Harry asked Finnigan. “Getting an autograph from your b-boggart?”

Harry’s friends loyally laughed as Finnigan turned an ugly shade of puce before smirking at Harry.

“What about your b-b-boggart, Potter?” Finnigan mocked him, loudly. “Is it still Daddy Snape or d’you think the dementors have that honor now?”

Harry hadn’t even thought about it, he just felt a wave of rage and pulled his fist back and cracked his knuckles as he slammed it right in Finnigan’s mouth. Finnigan staggered backwards and Harry shook off Susan’s half-hearted restraining hand as he advanced on him.

“Don’t ever talk about my boggart,” Harry hissed. He got right in Finnigan’s face and quoted something insane he’d heard Sirius once say, “I don’t mind earning a stay in Azkaban. G-got it?”

It was a lie.

But Harry hoped Finnigan didn’t know that.

“You’re mad,” Finnigan spat, backing away quickly. “You shouldn’t be in Azkaban, you should be in St Mungo’s with the loonies!”

Neville suddenly broke through the crowd and tackled Finnigan, knocking him to the wall, and they began fighting in earnest. Harry would have intervened to help Neville, but Neville didn’t much look like he needed help, and Professor McGonagall came running up on the scene anyway.

“Finnigan! Longbottom! What is the meaning of this?” she demanded, waving her wand and forcing the boys apart.

“Misunderstanding.” Finnigan spat a mouthful of blood on the floor by his boots and quickly vanished it with his wand.

“Longbottom?” McGonagall turned to Neville, giving him one of her infamous stern stares.

“Misunderstanding,” Neville echoed Finnigan, stuffing his hands in his pockets with a look of defiance.

“Twenty points from Gryffindor for lying to my face,” McGonagall said. She turned to the rest of the students and gave them all an unimpressed look. “Get to lunch, everyone.”

Harry waited a beat too long to turn towards the staircase with the others because McGonagall suddenly called his name. “Walk with me, Harry.”

Harry froze and clenched Susan’s hand.

Did she see him hit Finnigan?

Was he going to Azkaban for it?

How long would he have to stay for a single punch?

You are never going back there, Timmy hissed in his mind. Never.

Leave me alone, Harry hissed back. He tried to build his once impenetrable walls back up, but they were flimsy. Timmy could break them with a heavy sigh if he wanted. He didn’t though, his presence just slithered out of Harry’s mind as abruptly as it first appeared.

“Harry?” McGonagall was standing in front of Harry now, peering down at him with concern in her warm hazel eyes. “I did not see you hit Finnigan, and, as I presume you did not purposefully admit such a thing to me, I will pretend to not have heard it. I merely wanted to see if you would be amenable to having lunch with me today?”

Harry checked McGonagall’s hands quickly.

No handcuffs.

She didn’t even have her wand out anymore.

“I didn’t do it,” Harry said on autopilot. “I’m sorry.”

“She’s not arresting you,” Susan murmured beside him. “She’s on your side.”

Harry laughed.

Nobody was on his side.

Harry was a one-man army, just as he’d always been.

Susan’s light twitch at Harry’s laugh did clear some of the fog from his mind though, so he nodded at McGonagall, desperate now to save face as he’d already made himself a spectacle once today.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly. “We can have l-lunch.”

“Excellent,” McGonagall smiled down at him. “Come along then, I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”

Harry silently trailed behind her, once more questioning reality as his current situation felt rather surreal. Maybe... maybe he did get arrested for hitting Finnigan and they put him back in his cell and everything since then was a dream?

His belief that this was a dream only increased as McGonagall brought him to her office and took a seat across from him and smiled.

Even before Harry died, he was certain people didn’t smile like that at him.

“Ma’am?”

“Yes?”

Harry glanced around warily and pinched his wrist. “Am- is this a dream?”

“It is not,” McGonagall said, not showing any reaction at all to the odd question. “I have been thinking quite a bit about you, Harry. And, I thought I may have found an excellent extra credit project you may like to work on.”

“Extra credit,” Harry repeated slowly. “I- are- my grades that b-bad?”

He knew he’d missed a decent amount of school, but he’d had relatively high grades before he’d been arrested left.

“Not at all,” McGonagall assured him. She tapped her desk with her wand, causing a platter of sandwiches and fruit to appear before she tapped it again and a crystal pitcher full of cold water popped up as well with two glasses. “Eat up, Harry, and I’ll explain my idea.”

Harry scoffed quietly and tucked his hands beneath his legs. If McGonagall wasn’t eating the food, neither was he. No matter how hungry he was.

McGonagall watched as a small spark of defiance grew in Harry’s eyes and she tsk’d at him before plucking up a sandwich and taking a bite. “Do eat,” she said after she swallowed. “I hate eating in front of someone.”

Harry gingerly reached for a ripe strawberry and snatched it quickly, holding it up and inspecting it slowly. It... it didn’t look poisoned, honestly. He took a bite and tasted it carefully. It didn’t taste poisoned either.

“Now, I believe that your current course load is insufficient for a boy of your talents,” McGonagall said. She poured two glasses of water and took a drink before pushing one in front of Harry. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I... maybe?” Harry said uncertainly.

“It is,” McGonagall said. “And, so, I have a challenge for you, and a handsome reward if you are able to complete it.”

She had Harry’s complete attention as she leaned forward and smiled conspiratorially at him.

“Have you ever wanted to become an animagus?”

***

When Harry’s friends found him a couple hours later, it was in the library with Padma Patil, hidden behind a towering stack of books that threatened to topple every time he snatched a new one off the top.

“Harry?” Susan laughed quietly as she peered around the books. “Where have you been? We’ve been looking for you for ages.”

“Here,” Harry murmured distractedly. “‘M busy.”

“Busy with...” Theo plucked up a book and cocked his head at it. “Great animagus transformations of the 19th century? And...” he glanced curiously at Padma. “And with Padma?”

“Yes,” Harry snapped, snatching the book back out of Theo’s hands. “It’s a p-project.”

”And Harry and I had some business to take care of,” Padma said primly. She got to her feet and smiled at Harry. “Thanks again, Harry.”

Harry nodded in acknowledgment, partially relieved when she left and he didn’t have to bite his tongue anymore, and partially wistful as she had been one of the few people he’d seen that day that wasn’t a ghost.

“What business did you have with Padma?” Ron asked him curiously.

Harry waved a stack of essays, charmed to mimic his handwriting, in the air. “P-Padma and Parvati got to move out of their p-parents house, and Padma wrote all my essays while I was gone.”

”Bloody genius,” Ron breathed.

”Cheater,” Hermione grinned.

Harry looked up at her briefly and cocked his head to the side. “D-didn’t you write my essays when I had been in the hospital th-third year? Or... or did I dream that?”

”I did,” Hermione assured him quickly. “I was only joking about you being a cheater. I mean, it is cheating, but who cares?”

That made no sense so Harry swung his eyes to Draco, relatively certain he wasn’t a ghost, and raised his brows.

“I am not a ghost, you are not dead, this isn’t a dream, Granger is just more lenient than she used to be,” Draco said. “Tell us about your project?” he asked slowly, taking the chair across from Harry and slinging his bag on the table. Harry scowled as he had to quickly steady the books to ensure they didn’t fall. “What’s it for? If Padma wrote your essays?”

Harry’s lips twitched in to a smile as he remembered what McGonagall said. “‘A tried and true m-method to escape any future wrongful imprisonments’,” he said. “It’s for a challenge.”

Harry didn’t see it, as he was furiously scribbling away on his parchment, but his friends exchanged worried glances.

“Have you ate today?” Hermione asked gently.

“Yes.”

He ate two strawberries with McGonagall.

“And you’re feeling okay?” Ron asked.

Harry looked up and scowled harder at the looks of concern they were all giving him. Well. Luna didn’t look concerned, she looked interested in one of the books in Harry’s stack. And Blaise didn’t look concerned either, he looked bored. The others though, they all looked concerned.

“I’m fine,” Harry said after taking a deep breath. “And two.”

Ron scrunched his nose. “Two, what?”

“‘M going to say ‘I’m fine’ two m-more times before I explode,” Harry said calmly. “And I’ve never seen a ghost explode, but it’s p-probably disgusting, yeah?”

“You aren’t a ghost,” Theo said. He sat next to Harry and read his notes over his shoulder. “Ghosts can’t write three bloody feet of notes. Damn, Harry, what did McGonagall promise you? Everlasting life?”

Harry snorted. He had a red rock for that if he wanted it, which he very much did not no matter how much Timmy tried to convince him otherwise.

Why not, Little Horcrux?

You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.

Think of it- all those that opposed us, torn down as easily as those despicable muggles. We could start with the irksome Irish boy.

Harry snorted again and closed his eyes, clearing his mind, and mentally stacking bricks around the edges of his head.

Mind your own business, noseless.

“Harry...?”

Harry opened his eyes then immediately rolled them at the looks he was now getting. “I’m not crazy,” he said quickly. “Timmy was talking.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound crazy at all,” Blaise smirked.

Harry shrugged and moved the entire stack of books off to the side, carefully jotting down their titles, as he suddenly remembered a new task he needed to complete.

“Mione, any idea what ‘Little Horcrux’ means?”

Hermione looked confused, but Theo seemed to abruptly start choking. Harry watched curiously as he thumped himself on the chest and turned red.

“Wha- who-” Theo looked around the library nervously before waving his wand around the table the rest of Harry’s gang quickly sat at and shielded them from eavesdroppers. “Are you trying to get arrested?” he hissed.

Very much, incredibly desperately, with absolute certainty, not.

Harry imagined he had paled at the mere idea as Theo’s affect softened and he groaned quietly. “Let’s talk in the dorms about it, alright?” he whispered, sounding more than a bit paranoid. “It’ll be more private than the bloody library.”

“Alriiight,” Harry said slowly. Theo’s obvious paranoia was causing Harry to itch. He pinched his wrist again and got to his feet carefully. “You guys wanna go to the d-dorm then?”

“Oh!” Luna gave Harry a blinding smile. “Can we have a sleepover?”

“Yes!” Trent pumped his fist in the air. “Celebration sleepover!”

“What are we celebrating?” Harry asked, bemused.

“Neville’s excellent right hook, of course,” Blaise laughed. “Come on, let’s go get some food from the kitchens and head to the dorms.”

***

Harry and his friends entered the Slytherin common room, arms buried under piles of food gifts from the house-elves that had been overjoyed to see Harry return, and Harry was immediately assaulted with loud cheers, whistles, and rambunctious clapping.

“Dead,” he whispered to whoever was beside him as he stared around incredulously. “I’m dead. My b-body’s in Azkaban.”

“Increased status as a celebrity, not dead,” Blaise murmured back quietly. “Pains of fame, remember?”

“If you say so.”

“We knew you were innocent,” an older student Harry didn’t know said as he stepped forward and offered Harry his hand pompously. “As soon as they said they found Goyle in a corridor, I said, ‘couldn’t be Harry, he’s smarter than that’, didn’t I, Meng?”

“He did,” a girl, apparently named Meng, said. “The Heir of Slytherin, leaving a body in the middle of the hall? An obvious setup!”

Harry bit his tongue once more as he briefly shook the boys hand and debated what was going on.

This would be an odd dream to have, but would it be any more odd than the ones where he turned in to a phoenix and burnt to ashes every month and then was forced to rebirth and continue living?

“That’s enough,” Susan yelled, quickly calming down the noise in a way Harry had only seen Snape do before. A few of the younger kids actually looked downright terrified of Susan for some reason. “Leave Harry alone, he doesn’t want bothered by you lot.”

“I mean, thanks for thinking I didn’t do it?” Harry said, everything feeling unreal and confusing. “Except you didn’t really keep me from b-being arrested, so... so I g-guess it doesn’t mean much, does it?”

A few of the students blushed at Harry’s bluntly spoken truth, but most of them seemed to have gotten the message. Except for Daphne Greengrass, who came strutting straight up to Harry with her chin jutted out and a nervous look in her eyes.

“Harry, may I speak with you?” She glanced at Harry’s gawking friends, including Ron who looked as puzzled as Harry was, and bit her bottom lip for a second. “In private, maybe?”

So she could kill him? No.

“I’m not going to kill you!” she cried. “I just... I need to speak with you. It is important.”

Harry glanced at Ron, who raised his brows and shrugged, then at Susan, who was watching Daphne suspiciously with narrowed eyes.

“We can go to m-my dorm,” Harry offered. “They’re coming too, though.”

Daphne sighed as she looked at Harry’s close knit and curious group. “I expected that,” she said. “Yes, that would be fine.”

Ron tried to pull her off to the side, ask her what was going on, as they made their way unimpeded to the dorm, but Daphne just shook her head and pursed her lips. She refused to say a word until they all trooped in to the dorm and closed the door behind them.

“Sit, please,” she told Harry softly, gesturing to his bed. “You look unwell, and I probably should have waited to do this, but...” she glanced at Ron and Harry saw a flash of remorse in her eyes before she looked back at Harry. “But I have to do it now.”

Harry laughed shortly. Did she not realize that she couldn’t kill him? Abracadabra, he’s already dead.

“I- I don’t know what that means,” Daphne said with a frown.

“He’s obviously exhausted,” Susan said hastily, stepping up beside Harry and gently guiding him to his bed where she then lightly pushed him down to sit on the edge. “Can’t this wait?”

“No.”

“It’s fine,” Harry waved Susan off, his curiosity mounting at Daphne’s behavior. “What’s going on?”

Daphne took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and kept her blue eyes on Harry’s as she spoke. “My sister, Astoria, did you know that she was born with a very rare heart disease?”

“No?” Was he meant to know that? Harry looked at his friends, who had edged to his side of the room and were facing Daphne with confused expressions and felt a small bit of relief.

“Well she was,” Daphne said factually. “My father was also very sick when she was born, he died a few years ago, before I started Hogwarts.”

Did she think that just because Harry was a ghost that he’d know how to talk to her dead father?

“That is just to say that my family was doing very badly when Astoria was born. My mother couldn’t work, it was a very hard pregnancy, Astoria was sick, she needed constant treatments that were terribly expensive, and my father was also sick.”

“So you need money?” Draco interrupted her.

“No.” Daphne tossed her hair over her shoulder a bit haughtily. “We’re much better now because someone offered to pay for Astoria’s treatments. If he hadn’t done so, she would have died before my father did.”

Harry looked up at Susan and Theo, who were both flanking either side of him, and caught Theo’s eyes.

Theo shrugged then quickly reached out and pinched the hell out of Harry’s ear.

Not a ghost right now then. And it wasn’t a dream.

“Right,” Harry said when Daphne stopped speaking to watch Theo and Harry’s brief interaction. “B-brill? I guess? I’m happy she’s alive?”

Harry didn’t personally know Astoria, but he was pretty sure that Trent had some sort of odd love-triangle thing going on with her and Sapphire before Harry died.

“Thank you, though that wasn’t the point of my story,” Daphne said. “I do not like to carry debt, of any kind, to any person.”

Understandable.

“So I wanted to find a way to pay that person back, although I knew I would never have the money to do so.”

Snape said that you never have to use your body to pay any person, for anything, at any time, for any reason. But maybe nobody told Daphne that until it was too late.

“Shut up,” Susan whispered, stomping on Harry’s foot as Daphne gaped at him. “Merlin, Harry. Bite your tongue.”

“I did not sleep with the Headmaster,” Daphne declared hotly as Harry blushed and realized he’d once again been thinking aloud.

“The Headmaster?” Neville asked, taking the spotlight off Harry immediately. “That’s who paid for your sister’s medical bills?”

“It was,” Daphne said stiffly. “I believe I’ve heard that he has done similarly for multiple others in the past.”

“He offered to pay for Mum and Dad’s stay at St Mungo’s, but Gran told him no,” Neville said.

“As my mother and I preferred to not have Astoria die, we did not turn down his generous offer.”

Someone scoffed, a sentiment Harry generally agreed with. So the Headmaster was generous when it came to sick baby girls and tortured members of his order, but an orphaned baby hero just got dumped on a doorstep and never checked on again? Got it.

“Good for you,” Harry said flatly. He could feel exhaustion creeping through his body and didn’t fancy wasting the last of his evening listening to how wonderful Dumbledore was. “B-bye.”

“You haven’t let me finish,” Daphne said.

“Do it quick then,” Hermione said waspishly. “None of us are in the Albus Dumbledore Fan Club, if you haven’t noticed.”

“I... have,” Daphne said slowly, that guilty look appearing in her uneasy eyes once more. “And I’m sure you’re about to be quite angry, which is why I wanted to tell you all that first, so you would understand where I had been coming from, Harry. You understand wanting to pay back debts, right?”

Harry would never owe Dumbledore a debt. If Theo had been sick, Snape would heal him. If Trent needed horribly expensive treatments, Harry or Sirius would pay for them. Harry would rather die than feel that he owed Dumbledore a damn thing...

So maybe he did understand a bit.

“Sure,” he shrugged.

“Okay, so...” Daphne took a deep breath and Harry realized that he was about to hear something he very much did not want to hear. “So when the Headmaster asked me if I would occasionally inform him about what you were up to, you would understand that I only wanted to pay back a debt, right?”

Harry was on his feet with his dagger in his hand, at her throat, in an instant.

“You did what?” he hissed.

Kill her, Little Horcrux. Hide her body in Salazar’s Chamber. Your followers will assist you.

GO THE FUCK AWAY, TIMMY! I don’t want you in my head!

“I’m sorry,” Daphne cried, tears springing in her eyes as Harry pushed her backwards until her back hit the door and she couldn’t back up anymore. “Harry, I swear, I didn’t tell him anything bad! I don’t really even know anything!”

“What the fuck did you tell him?!” Susan demanded, instantly appearing on Harry’s right side with her wand drawn.

“I don’t remember it all!” Daphne said. “Please, Harry, I’m so sorry. I wanted to come clean so I could apologize to you and-” she glanced over Harry’s shoulder towards Ron, “-and there wouldn’t be any secrets.”

“For how bloody long, huh?” Ron yelled. “How long, Daphne??”

“Last September when I joined the team, that’s when he asked me,” Daphne said, whimpering when Harry pressed the blade down a little harder on her throat. “Please, please, I didn’t even know anything. I told him- I told him about the defense club, the knives and guns, and you sneaking out, and that was it! Besides that, I don’t know anything!”

“So you told him everything you did know?” Susan hissed dangerously. “What, if we told trusted you with real secrets then you would have told him?”

“I don’t know,” Daphne said. The tears in her eyes spilled over and ran down her cheeks, distracting Harry for a moment as they sparkled in the candlelight of the room. “Not anymore though, I swear. Harry, Ron, I’m so sorry.”

Draco narrowed his eyes at Daphne and pulled his wand out as well. “Were you using Ron to get closer to Harry?”

“No! No! Ron, I swear! That’s why I wanted to come clean,” she said quickly. “I... I like you, Ron. Truly. I didn’t ask you out because of Dumbledore, I asked you out in spite of it.”

“Kill her,” Ron said flatly. He turned his back in disgust. “Snitches get stabbed, or whatever.”

“Snitches get stitches,” Harry corrected him absently. His mind was whirling as he stared at Daphne hard and considered what she said. More importantly, he considered when she said it. He abruptly dropped his knife, causing it to clatter as it hit the floor, and he opened the dorm door. “Get out.”

“What?”

“I d-didn’t stutter,” Harry said. “You waited until you knew I wouldn’t kill you to tell me, d-didn’t you? Or did D-Dumbledore put you up to it? Is he hoping I’ll kill you and go back?! I’m not going back to Azkaban. I’m not. I’m NOT. GET OUT,” he screamed when she just stood there and gawked at him with silent tears running down her cheeks. “DON’T F-FUCKIN EVER EVEN LOOK AT ME AGAIN.”

Daphne sent Ron one last pleading look, then sniffled and turned on her heel and ran from the room when Ron refused to acknowledge her.

Harry watched her flee while bees buzzed around beneath his skin.

“What the fuck?” he breathed.

“This is horrible,” Trent grimaced as Draco pat Ron on the shoulder consolingly and Harry stared at the empty corridor.

“It really is. I can’t believe she’d be such a filthy snake,” Susan spat angrily. She grabbed Harry’s elbow and turned him around, kicking the door shut, and guided him to a spot on the floor to sit.

“I can’t believe we’re going to have to replace her,” Trent groaned. Harry’s head snapped over to him incredulously and saw that Trent had his hands buried in his hair in real distress.

“Our next match is in a month! And Harry already hasn’t flown in over a month!” Trent said, silencing all the other side conversations as everyone looked at him now. “We’re going to have to find a replacement! And train a new chaser and get Harry’s hands to quit shaking long enough to catch the snitch!” He looked up and there was real agony in his young and naive eyes. “We’ll never beat Hufflepuff now.”

Harry blinked. Then he slowly reached for his cigarettes and lighter and lit one up right in the middle of the room. Hermione curled her nose in disgust and moved over by the charmed windows, opening one and allowing a magical breeze to blow through the room. Ron just sat beside Harry and silently held his hand out. Harry handed him his pack and lighter as he inhaled and exhaled slowly.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Harry asked Trent as soon as he was sure his voice wouldn’t shake.

Trent looked around at everyone’s grim faces and stony silences and shrugged. “What? Quidditch is important.”

Ron blew out a mouthful of smoke. “Trent, mate, pick Sapphire, alright? You two are a match made in Quidditch fanatic heaven.”



After dinner, everyone cleared away the furniture so they could all sleep on the floor in ‘true sleepover fashion’.

“No,” Harry said bluntly as he eyed the stone floors made minimally more cushioned by the blankets they laid down. He looked up at Neville, who was closest to him, and raised his brows. “Am I still in Azkaban?”

“No, you’re at Hogwarts.”

“Then I’m not sleeping on the floor.”

So then Hermione and Susan had the idea to simply move all the mattresses off the beds and use them as makeshift beds.

“We should have thought of this years ago,” Blaise grinned as he stretched out beside Harry. “Much better than the grimy floors.”

“It really is,” Trent agreed, sounding quite sleepy.

“Just- just checking here...” Harry cleared his throat as he looked up at the ceiling of the dorm. “So far, in one day, since I arrived here this morning— Finnigan told everyone about my boggart, I hit him, Neville hit him too, McGonagall offered to teach me to b-become an animagus, the Slytherin’s think I’m a hero for going to p-prison, and Daphne Greengrass admitted to sp-spying on me for Dumbledore.”

“Yup,” Theo said, sounding as exhausted as Harry was.

“And...” Harry turned his head a little, giving his brother an exasperated look. “And this is supposed to be real? You expect me to believe this isn’t a d-dream and I’m not g-gonna wake up in my cell?”

“The fact it’s so outrageous really adds credence to its accuracy,” Hermione said thoughtfully. “Think about it, Harry, when has your life ever been normal? If today had been ‘normal’ then wouldn’t that actually be more suspicious?”

That...

Yeah.

That made sense.

“Go to sleep, Ghost,” Blaise snorted. “Aht.” He snatched Harry’s hand before he could try and muster up the energy to silence the part of the floor he had claimed for himself. “We’re your friends, Harry. Don’t put up silencing charms where we can’t help you if you need it.”

Harry blinked at him incredulously. “Blaise, I’m going to fuckin scream. Snape won’t l-let me have a potion to sleep until he b-brews a new batch of mine.” Since Harry used up all of the ‘non-addictive’ dreamless sleep vials Snape made just for him and he hadn’t had any chance to brew recently since babysitting Harry was apparently a full-time job. “I’m not waking you guys up b-because I’m weak, it’s embarassing,” he scowled.

“More embarrassing than your hair?” Draco grinned teasingly.

Harry wasn’t in the mood to be teased though. “Yes.”

“Don’t hide from us,” Luna said softly. “If you scream, we’ll wake you up and remind you that those were dreams and this is real.”

”And you’re not weak,” Susan said firmly.

Harry would have continued to press the issue, but truthfully he was exhausted. He didn’t know if he had the energy to put up enough privacy shields or that they’d be able to withstand the joint efforts of Hermione’s brains and Susan’s strength to tear them right back down anyway.

“You’re g-gonna regret it,” Harry shrugged, faking nonchalance. “I don’t wanna hear a word about it in the morning.”

“Not a word,” Neville agreed solemnly. “Goodnight, Harry.”

Harry passed out in exhaustion before he remembered that he had wanted to talk about what ‘Little Horcrux’ meant with Theo.

And, just as Harry had warned them, he tossed and turned all night, screaming. He was unaware of his penchant for talking in his sleep though.



It had been a long night in the sixth year boys’ dorm.

And Luna went straight to Snape’s office the next morning to get the recipe for Harry’s particular dreamless sleep.

Chapter End Notes

Up Next:
A brief (Hermionott? Theone? Hermiodore? Granott? Wtf is their ship name?) interlude.

PS: there are so many moments I want to write but that aren’t even full chapters or really plot relevant (IE: Charlie at the Dursley house over the summer, Susan’s birthday, Sirius telling Fred about Harry’s arrest, Trent’s love triangle, etc) so I’m thinking about making them their own chapter at the end of the book. Sort of a ‘Missing Moments’ type of thing.
Aaaanyway, if there are any missing moments you would like me to add to the list, or moments rewrote for a different POV, let me know! I can’t guarantee it’ll be included, but if my muse likes it, I’ll add it. 😂

73%
Oh theses poor babies 😭

Hermione counted.

And recounted.

And recounted a third time.

There was no way.

No way possible.

They had been so careful.

For days, Hermione convinced herself it was stress.

And why wouldn’t she be stressed?

There was a war going on, people were dying, muggleborns were going in to hiding more and more every day it seemed. She had classes to attend, essays to write, nonverbal magic to practice.

And then Madame Pomfrey sat her down in the Hospital Wing before she’d been discharged with a sympathetic look and a warm hug that Hermione hadn’t deserved.

And Hermione’s stress increased.



Tuesday, February 17

Hermione shied away from Theo, her uncertainties making her miserable to be alone but insecure with her relationship. She loved Theo, she loved Theo more than she had ever loved anyone in her life. Theo was exactly the type of man she always dreamed about having a happily ever after with.

He was smart, studious, serious, but still fun, and he treated Hermione like an equal. He didn’t look down on her for her bookish ways, or how she never could pull off hairstyles like other girls had, or how she didn’t have time to worry about makeup and clothing trends. Theo didn’t care about her blood status or her Hogwarts house.

Theo just loved Hermione.

The real Hermione that most people didn’t bother getting to know.

Theo loved her so much, they had already planned an entire future out together:

Graduate Hogwarts.

Apply to University together.

Obtain their doctorates in their respective fields of interest.

Return to the wixen world to obtain masteries in their magical fields.

Establish themselves in their careers.

Then, later, much later, they would start a family together.

And now?

Now their bright future was murky and unknown and it terrified her worse than anything she’d ever encountered before.

Would Theo still love her if their entire future was now compromised?

Would he love her for her, and not for the ease of which they could travel together on a journey filled with love, academics, and adventures?



Hermione was curled up against the wall of the girls loo in the Ravenclaw Tower, crying softly, feeling terribly sorry for herself, when the door slowly opened.

“Go away,” she sniffled. “It’s occupied!”

“I thought you might need a friend.”

Hermione looked up from her knees and saw Luna’s kind and compassionate eyes staring sadly at her from the doorway.

“May I come in?”

Hermione would have said no, but she knew Luna had a knack for comforting people and she very desperately needed comforting right now.

“Yes, please,” Hermione said weakly.

No sooner than she said it, then Luna was dancing across the floor and curled up right next to Hermione. She wrapped her thin arms around her and Hermione felt herself go to pieces in her arms.

“Shh,” Luna hummed softly. “I know, I know. It’s going to be so hard, but you aren’t alone, no matter what.”

Hermione cried all the harder for her words. She’d once been so rude to this girl, so mocking of her beliefs and the way she knew things that she had no reason to know. Even if Hermione didn’t critique her aloud, she still had a bad habit of mentally scoffing when Luna mentioned creatures that couldn’t exist, like nargles and wrackspurts. And now? For Luna to be comforting Hermione on the floor of the loo?

“I’m a t-terrible person,” Hermione sobbed in to Luna’s chest. “I’m so sorry!”

“You aren’t terrible,” Luna said softly. She moved one of her hands from Hermione’s back to her hair and stroked it softly, just the way Hermione’s mom used to do.

Before she knew she was a witch.

Before she corrected her teeth with magic.

Before she fell in love with Theo.

Back when she was still her mother’s little girl and they could talk about anything to each other.

But now holidays and school breaks were better at Theo’s, with her friends that felt much more like family than the strangers she calls her parents.

It hadn’t been their fault, it was probably hers. She didn’t bring them in to her world because she knew it would scare them and overwhelm them. She knew they would never understand and so it had been easier to begin cutting them out. Little snips here and there, severing their once tight-knit relationship.

She was glad for it, now.

Ron’s dad died on Dumbledore’s orders.

Draco’s dad had been imprisoned on Harry’s orders.

Luna’s dad had been killed for her connection to Harry.

Susan’s aunt died in a battle against a group of death eaters.

Hermione had planned on ensuring her parents were entirely removed from her life this summer, and all those little snips from before made it that much easier.

But she would give anything for one of her mom’s hugs right now.

Even if she would be so terribly disappointed in her.

“You’re so smart,” Luna was murmuring gently. “Hermione, you’re so smart. No matter what, you’re going to find a way to handle this. Because that’s who you are.”

“What do I do?” Hermione whispered, not even questioning Luna’s ability to already know what happened.

“You tell Theo,” Luna said simply. “And then the two of you have to make a decision.”

Hermione flinched in Luna’s arms.

‘A decision’.

It sounded so real.

“He’s going to be mad,” Hermione said. She sat up and wiped her face with the sleeve of her robes. “He won’t want to talk about it.”

Luna gave Hermione a soft smile, “You know better.”

She did.

She was being silly.

Hormonal.

Even if Theo was furious and terrified, he knew that it had taken two of them to get in this mess. He wouldn’t blame her. And he would talk about it, he would talk about it until they were both blue in the face and had a concrete plan. Because that’s who Theo was:

Dependable, sturdy, and supportive.

“I could be wrong,” Hermione said desperately. “I could be.”

“You could be,” Luna said gently, “but I don’t think you are.”

No.

Hermione didn’t think so either.



It was less than a week after that conversation with Luna that Hermione had been attacked and Madam Pomfrey confirmed it.

And Hermione planned on telling Theo as soon as they got a night alone...

But then Harry had been arrested. And Hermione couldn’t stress Theo out more as he paced his dorm, ranting about the idiocy of their government, punching walls to vent his anger, and whispering to Hermione at night about how scared for his brother he was.

So she waited.

And then Harry was freed. Then they all were on edge as they met with him at his house and saw how broken he was. They held meetings, discussing how best to help him, and Theo was miserable. He missed Harry. He was terrified for Harry. He wanted his brother back.

So she still waited.



And then Harry finally returned to Hogwarts and Theo was overjoyed.

And Hermione knew she had to tell him now. She couldn’t keep it from him anymore. She worked up her courage all day while Theo was torn between giving Harry bright smiles and Hermione curious looks at her odd behavior. She knew she looked terrible; pale and horrible bags beneath her eyes, and it was reflecting in her work as well. It was a week of grades so low she cried in the middle of runes when she was handed back her first ever P.

Theo had been mystified about both her grade and her tears, but he hugged her after class and wiped the tears off her cheeks softly.

“Don’t cry, love,” he said, so terribly sweetly. “You’re so stressed out lately.”

“Can we talk?” Hermione blurted out. She looked around and saw an empty classroom and she quickly pulled Theo to it before she could talk herself out of having the discussion they had to have once more.

Theo’s eyes were anxious as she warded the room to hell and back—

God forbid someone walk in on this.

—before she took a deep breath and sat down right in the center of the floor.

“I’m pregnant.”

Theo blinked at her before his face went cold, a sheen of ice covering his typically expressive and warm brown eyes.

“That isn’t funny,” he snapped.

No.

It wasn’t.

“I’m not joking,” Hermione said, just as snappishly. “Madam Pomfrey confirmed it. I- I just couldn’t find a good time to tell you,” she added softly.

Theo’s face twisted in to a scowl. “We take the potions,” he said. “Did you take yours every month?”

“Yes, did you?” Hermione demanded, despite knowing he did.

“Obviously,” Theo drawled, quite annoyingly. ”I would never forget something so bloody important, Hermione.”

“I didn’t either!” Hermione protested. She jumped to her feet, filled with an indignant anger. How dare Theo act like this was only her fault? “I told you we should have used condoms!”

“We don’t need them if WE’RE TAKING THE GOD DAMNED POTION!” Theo yelled. The ice in his eyes melted just long enough for Hermione to see not anger, despite his shouts, but fear. A fear so strong she knew that Theo was absolutely terrified.

And she was too.

So why were they fighting?

“Maybe Snape messed the potion up,” Hermione said softly. “Or maybe... maybe... I don’t know!”

She did know.

She knew it.

Theo knew it.

They were playing denial.

And they both knew that too.

They weren’t careful enough, caught up in their love and their pleasure, and they were going to pay for it.

“Well I’m going to fucking go find out,” Theo snarled. He turned on his heel and stormed to the door. He had no sooner slammed the door behind him than he reopened it. “Are you coming?”

Hermione hesitated. She didn’t really fancy storming in Professor Snape’s office and accusing him of messing up a potion, a baseless accusation really, but... but he could give them some answers and information.

“Yes,” Hermione said firmly.

When they entered Professor Snape’s office a few minutes later, it was hand-in-hand with similar looks of annoyance on their faces.

“Is there something I can help you with?” Professor Snape asked, only sounding mildly curious as they barged in his office then stood there silently staring at him.

Which was terribly rude of them, honestly.

“There is,” Theo snapped. He dropped Hermione’s hand and stormed fearlessly right up to the Professor. “Did you fuck up that potion you send every month?”

Professor Snape raised a brow at Theo, his face betraying a hint of impatience at Theo’s insolent tone. “Which potion would you be referring to? I do send you two a month.”

“Our potion,” Hermione said, stepping up beside Theo. “Did you mess it up a couple of months ago?”

Professor Snape looked momentarily angry, then he blinked and suddenly looked as if they knocked him entirely off-kilter.

“Why would you ask me that?” he asked softly. His dark eyes looked between Hermione and Theo for a moment before quickly flicking towards Hermione’s stomach and back up to her eyes. “Miss Granger, why are you asking me that?”

It seemed like he was already aware of why she would ask that, so she said nothing.

“Son of a bitch, Theodore!” Professor Snape’s eyes were blazing with fury as he stared hard at Theo now. “You idiot boy, you cannot be serious?! We had a talk, Theodore! I told you that you cannot count solely on the potion to prevent pregnancy or disease!”

“What?” Theo yelped and stepped backwards. “You said it was effective!”

“NINETY SEVEN PERCENT EFFECTIVE!” Professor Snape roared, causing Theo to step backwards again. “Have you used no other form of protection or prevention?!”

Theo’s face was losing color so quickly that Hermione began to worry he would faint.

“No, sir,” she admitted tearfully, “we haven’t.”

“Idiots!” Professor Snape yelled. “I thought you were intelligent, Theodore! Even Harry wouldn’t do something so inconceivably stupid!”

Theo went even more pale and Hermione frowned at the rather unfair comparison of the two. Harry was engaged to a wizard, he didn’t have to worry about contraceptives. And if he did, Hermione thought Harry would have already filled the castle with crazy green-eyed babies.

Was this what it was like having siblings? Being compared against each other? Perhaps Hermione was lucky to have been an only child.

Professor Snape finally took note of Theo’s wan face and made an obvious effort to calm himself. He summoned a potions vial, a pain reliever Hermione was certain, and swallowed it quickly.

“Miss Granger, I presume your cycle is late, hence this delightful conversation?” Professor Snape asked tartly, though much more calmly than he had spoken before.

“Yes, sir,” Hermione agreed quickly. It would be more embarrassing, talking about her ‘cycle’ to her Professor, but he was also Harry’s parent, Theo’s guardian, and the same person she’s shared a home with all last summer. “Well... well it was late, and then... then Madame Pomfrey confirmed it.”

Professor Snape looked as shocked at Hermione’s story as she was. “How far along?”

“Eight weeks- no? Nine? It was four weeks when I was in the hospital, sir.”

“And you didn’t fucking tell me?” Theo howled. “I thought we were a team!”

“Yeah that would have gone over swell,” Hermione said scathingly. “‘Hey Theo, I know your brother’s in Azkaban, but surprise! I’m pregnant!’”

Theo’s face turned a dark shade of red, but Snape stepped up before he could yell something else.

“What’s done is done,” he said calmly. “Yelling about it won’t help now.”

A bit hypocritical, considering he just yelled at them about it, but Hermione certainly wouldn’t push the issue when they came in and disrespected him right off the bat. She swiped angrily at her cheek, dislodging a traitorous tear that escaped her.

“Miss Granger.”

Hermione looked up at Professor Snape and saw his eyes soften just a little.

“This is not a sign of a personal failure,” he said kindly. “You are still the same intelligent, irksome, know-it-all that you were yesterday. Do you understand?”

Hermione tried to smile bravely since Professor Snape had been making such a kind attempt to reassure her, but her lips quivered and her eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill. She just nodded instead and turned her head to swipe her eyes again.

“The same goes for you, Theodore. I apologize for yelling. It did- this did catch me rather off guard,” Snape said a bit gruffly.

Theo grumbled under his breath, “Tell me about it.”

“Did Madame Pomfrey discuss options with you or would you rather not hear them?” Snape asked as he politely ignored Hermione’s dramatics.

“I want to hear them,” Theo said quickly. He scooted over by Hermione and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly, giving her a bit of his calm through the single touch.

“We don’t have to do this now, Miss Granger, ” Professor Snape asked softly. “Though if you wish for many options, then you will need to decide soon.”

“It’s fine, we can hear them now,” Theo said.

Hermione stared at the potions lining the wall as Professor Snape spoke. She hadn’t been listening, truthfully, her eyes were trapped on the glass jar with the inanimate toad frozen inside of it. It wasn’t until Professor Snape said ‘terminate’ that her head snapped up.

“Excuse me, what?” she asked.

“I said that there are potions if you wish to terminate,” Professor Snape repeated patiently. He glanced down at her stomach and withheld a grimace, but Hermione could see it in his eyes regardless. “You will need to decide soon though,” he said. “After a certain point in the pregnancy, it is no longer a viable option.”

“We understand,” Theo said. He grabbed Hermione’s hand and squeezed it gently. “We need to talk, sir. May we come back tomorrow?”

“Certainly,” Professor Snape said calmly. “My door is always open. Although, so is Madame Pomfrey’s,” he added quickly.



“What do we do?” Hermione whispered to Theo that night as she laid curled up in his arms.

“Get rid of it.”

“What?” Hermione gasped and sat up, her eyes wide and shocked as she looked at Theo’s expression of solemnity.

“Hermione, be serious,” Theo said, his tone soft and his eyes hard. “We still have school to finish. We have nobody to watch it when we’re in class. We’re in a bloody war. I don’t know a damn thing about being a father, and I doubt you know how to be a mother. Let’s tell Snape we want that potion.”

Everything Theo said made sense.

Every word.

But...

“I- I don’t want to,” Hermione said softly, loathing the fact that they were on different pages on what needed to be a very joint decision. “I could work this summer, get some money, hire a nanny for school next year? Maybe rent a place in Hogsmeade and see if we can get a pass to stay there during the school year?”

She didn’t know if such a thing would even be possible, but it didn’t sound like such a ridiculous request. And she knew that Theo had a large inheritance from his father, but she could contribute as well. She could cash out the college fund her parents had for her, use it to get by until they were able to graduate.

“And the war will end at some point,” Hermione said, finding a stride in her argument now. “I could be a mother, and you’d be a great father.” She reached her hand out to grab Theo’s arm, but he jerked away from her and sat up as well now.

“You’re brilliant, Hermione,” Theo said. It didn’t sound like a compliment in that tone though, it sounded like an insult. “So use your brain,” he snapped. “I’m going to be on the front lines of any battles we have, I’ll be right beside my brother when he faces down the Dark Lord one day, once and for all. What will you do if I die? Huh? All your dreams, all your goals, they’ll all be gone! A single mother going to university and getting a mastery? I fucking doubt it.”

Hermione felt tears threatening her again. She wanted to blame the hormones, but she knew it was more than that. This was the worst mistake she’d ever made, and it was the first time she’d really fought with Theo. And there was no way to compromise.

Theo was right. They were both soldiers in this war. Both of their lives were at risk. Theo wouldn’t let Harry enter a battle without him, and Hermione wouldn’t sit on the sidelines as her friends fought either. They could both die tomorrow. When the war ended, Hermione or Theo might not be there to see which side emerged victorious.

And where would that leave the baby?

It was idiocy that led Hermione to this situation, and logic still hadn’t returned to her. Because her hand moved to her stomach and she kept it there, protecting the little proof of her and Theo’s love inside of her.

“I won’t get rid of it,” she said firmly. “I’m keeping it. I will help Harry win the war. I will go to University. I will get my Mastery. And I will do it as a single mother if I have to. I’m keeping it.”

Theo blinked and his absolute shock gave way to fear which switched quickly to a cold mask of anger. He swished his wand at his side and dropped the shields he’d placed on his bed.

“Get out,” he said coldly. He threw the curtain open and crossed his arms hatefully. “Go away! Go!” he yelled.

The other boys poked their heads out of their bed hangings curiously at Theo’s shout and got to be a witness to Hermione letting out a loud sob as she snatched her trainers and flew out of the dorm.

Down the stairs.

Through the Slytherin common room.

To the safety of the dungeons.

Hermione paused, gasping for breath as her tears threatened to choke her. After a moment of pointlessly trying to collect herself, she ran down the corridor and threw herself in the first empty classroom she could find.

Why was she being so stupid?

Why didn’t she want to listen to Theo who had been making a perfectly reasonable argument?

Why wouldn’t Theo even consider keeping it?

Hermione sat in an old desk, one she was much too tall to truly fit in, and folded her arms on the dusty wooden top so she could hide her face and her tears while she had a fit.

Why?

Why did this have to happen?

Why did this little tiny clump of cells have to come along and ruin Hermione’s logic, ruin her relationship?

Why couldn’t Hermione just agree with Theo and get the potion from Professor Snape?

Why couldn’t this have happened to Susan, who Hermione knew for a fact had unprotected sex quite often?

She knew that was a selfish thought to have about one of her dearest friends, but she would feel guilty about it later when she finished feeling sorry for herself.

Hermione was so caught up in her anguish and heartache that she didn’t hear it as the door quietly opened and someone walked up beside her. She didn’t notice their presence until a hand touched her shoulder gently.

“Mione?”

Hermione jolted in her seat and scrubbed her face viciously as she glanced up to see Harry staring down at her, an inscrutable look on his thin face.

“What’s going on?” Harry asked, folding himself up and sitting down on the dirty floor next to Hermione’s desk.

“Nothing,” Hermione said. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and cast a hasty scourgify to clean it. She wasn’t going to bother Harry with her problems when he still looked so haunted and miserable. “I’m fine.”

“Clearly,” Harry drawled, sounding enough like Professor Snape to make Hermione smile a little. He slowly reached out and put his hand on Hermione’s knee. “So what’s r-really going on?”

Hermione bit her lip as she looked down in Harry’s earnest green eyes. They hadn’t said anything about telling anyone, and Theo might be upset if she told Harry, but...

But Theo was already upset with her, wasn’t he?

“I’m pregnant,” Hermione whispered, shame rearing up in her once more. “Nine weeks along, apparently.”

Harry’s careful mask of boredom he liked to wear in tense situations disappeared almost instantly.

“A baby?” he asked, his eyes wide and wondrous. “Holy shit! That’s b-brill, Mione! A little— wait.” Harry cut himself off and suddenly glared so hatefully at Hermione that she cringed from his look. “Is this why Theo’s p-pissed?” he asked. “Is he not the fuckin dad?”

“Of course he is,” Hermione snapped, quite offended by the question. “Theo is the father.”

“Oh,” Harry gave her a sheepish grin and ran one hand through his hair, causing the dark tangles to look that much messier. “This is b-brill though! Are you so excited? What are you going to name it? Oh m-my God!” Harry leapt to his feet in a motion so graceful that Hermione was momentarily jealous. Hermione would never have the easy grace that Harry had. “It’s going to live with us, isn’t it?” he asked eagerly.

Hermione’s heart warmed at Harry’s enthusiasm. Not only was this the first time Harry looked truly happy about something since leaving Azkaban, but he seemed so genuinely excited. Harry clearly didn’t think Hermione was an idiot, even if she had no idea that Harry would be so fond of a baby.

Then her heart sank at Harry’s last question.

“We probably wouldn’t live with you,” she admitted quietly, the tremble in her voice causing Harry’s smile to slide right off his face. “Theo- Theo doesn’t want to- to keep it,” she told Harry, trying to sound factual instead of heartbroken. “So... so I’ll probably try and get my own place.”

“That’s fucking stup-pid,” Harry scoffed despite his stammer. “You can stay with me, the baby too.”

“Why?” Hermione asked him. It made no sense for Harry to be so kind to her, Theo was his brother. Hermione didn’t even think Harry liked her most of the time. If there were a side to be taken, Hermione assumed Harry would be on Theo’s.

“What d’you mean ‘why’?” Harry asked. “Isn’t it- I mean...” Harry’s cheeks turned the faintest shade of an adorable pink. “If Theo‘s my b-brother, I mean... I’m like an uncle, yeah? I know we aren’t really related, but- but I mean... kind of?”

“No, you are,” Hermione said quickly. “Of course you are. You’re an uncle, Harry.”

Hermione had shared a room with Harry often enough to have picked up on his bone deep fear of being alone. Harry had a terrible habit of warding his bed before he went to sleep, something he did automatically at this point she was sure, one he hadn’t done often since Blaise chastised him when he returned to school and Snape thankfully got Harry his potions, but he forgot to ward his bed or take his potion on occasion.

On occasion, everyone who shared a room with Harry had to bear witness to his fitful sleep and the things he said in his sleep.

Nobody wanted and needed a family more than Harry Potter.

“You’ll be a great uncle,” Hermione told him, only lying just a little. Harry would probably be a great uncle, except he also might teach her child how to shoot a gun on its second birthday and give them weapons for every holiday. “Except... except Theo might be mad if you let us stay with you.”

“Why?” Harry asked, sinking back to the floor. His eyes kept flicking towards Hermione’s stomach, as if expecting there to already be a bulge.

Oh god.

She was going to get ridiculously fat.

Hermione’s hand moved to her stomach, instinctively wanting to protect the little tiny fetus inside of her from hearing anything negative about it’s father.

Which was ridiculous.

She knew that.

She kept her hand there anyway.

“Theo wants to terminate it,” Hermione told Harry quietly. “He doesn’t want it. He doesn’t- he doesn’t want to be a father.”

“Theo wants to k-kill it?!” Harry yelped. “What the fuck?” His eyes went hazy all of a sudden, and Hermione knew what he was going to say next. “Am- am I dreaming? Theo d-doesn’t want to kill a baby? Timmy tried to kill a b-baby.”

“Hey, calm down, you’re awake,” Hermione said gently. “Theo doesnt want to murder a baby, not like Timmy. He just wants to terminate the pregnancy, before it grows to be a baby.” She ran a hand through her own hair, pulling slightly as she tried to detangle the knots with her fingers and Harry blinked wide-eyed at her. Which was odd, because Hermione knew Harry spent quite a bit of time living on the streets, so she didn’t think it would be a foreign concept to him, but Harry was rather naive about some things, so perhaps it was. She moved on hastily, changing the subject slightly. “We- well, there’s a lot of things we can’t do with a baby. We still have our NEWTS next year, and... and all sorts of other plans.”

Harry propped his body up with his hands on the floor and rubbed the stone flooring absently as he looked up to the ceiling.

“I mean, Draco and Nev were practically raised by house-elves, weren’t they?” Harry mused absently in the way that made Hermione unsure if he was talking to her or accidentally speaking aloud again. “And I raised my f-fuckin self. So I don’t see why you couldn’t find someone to watch the b-baby while you go to class and whatever.”

When Hermione said it, it sounded so reasonable. For some reason, it sounded ridiculous coming from Harry.

Maybe Hermione was just used to Harry spewing mad plans, so she expected everything he said to be outrageous.

And, in her defense, most things Harry said recently were quite terrifyingly mad.

“I don’t want my child raised by house-elves,” she said hotly. “And I certainly don’t want them to raise themselves.”

That was just sad.

Hermione hated when Harry said little things like that as if they were facts of the world and not tragic tidbits of a terrible childhood.

“Drop out then,” Harry shrugged. “One of you could d-drop out while the other one graduates, then swap the next year.”

“Theo doesn’t want it!” Hermione snapped, taking a bit of her frustration out on Harry, who flinched at her raised tone. “Quit making me repeat myself! Theo. Does. Not. Want. This. Baby! I have to do it alone if I keep it!”

Harry’s eyes flashed darkly before he spoke. “First off, don’t fuckin yell at me.”

She hadn’t meant to. Honestly. Harry had been a wreck since Azkaban and they all noticed how much worse his mental health had been recently. Susan had scolded them all rather viciously about treating Harry carefully. Not that Hermione had needed the lecture, she knew Harry needed some kindness to help him push off the shadows that lingered in his eyes. So, no. She didn’t mean to yell at him.

“Secondly, I’ll d-drop out and take care of it next year, if you want,” Harry said coolly. “I’m not fussed about graduating honestly. Or- we can pay someone to watch it. Probably not Cissa, I don’t think she knows what to do with b-babies honestly. I think we should ask Molly, Fred’s m-mum. She seems like she’s good with babies. Or Lupin, he’s got that sort of ‘patient and won’t shake your baby’ type of p-personality, yeah? But Tonks’ mum also seemed to do a decent job with Tonks. It’s not her fault Tonks became a fuckin cop anyway. Thirdly-” Harry raised his voice a little as Hermione made to interrupt him, “You’re not alone, Mione. Even if Theo doesn’t want the baby, I’m not going to let my f-fuckin nephew have a shit life.”

It was probably a good thing that Harry was the most terrifying and insane person Hermione had ever met, and that she was desperately in love with Theo, or else she might have accidentally fallen in love with Harry in that moment.

It was also perhaps the most sane that Harry had sounded since getting out of Azkaban, which was mildly concerning since it was still a rather mad ramble.

“Thank you,” Hermione said, quite choked up. “That- that means a lot. And,” Hermione gave him a weepy smile, “it might be your niece.”

Harry shrugged and looked up to the ceiling, obviously uncomfortable with Hermione’s emotions. Hermione made an effort to breathe slowly and control herself and after a few minutes, it seemed to work.

“So you’re keeping it then? For sure? You’re not gonna d-dump it off and start doing d-drugs?” Harry asked, eyeing her slyly out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m keeping it,” Hermione said with a bit of awe in her voice. It was the most illogical thing she had ever done. She was terrified.

She was hopelessly in love with it.

“And you’re the one who is picking up nasty habits,” she told him with a teasing grin. “Ugh, you really do have to quit smoking, Harry. It’s so unhealthy. They’ll kill you.”

“I’m already dead,” Harry laughed. “Abracadabra.”

“You aren’t dead,” Hermione sighed. She reached over and pinched Harry’s leg and quickly yanked her hand back as Harry started at the sudden small pain in his leg.

She didn’t like pinching Harry, it felt a lot like poking a lion with a stick, but Sirius told them that it helped him convince Harry that he wasn’t dead or dreaming and so far it had been effective. At some point, Hermione was certain that Harry would curse someone for pinching him, but that would be the most Harry-like reaction ever so she also hoped it would happen soon.

“Not dead or d-dreaming,” Harry looked back towards her and gave her a crooked grin that she hadn’t seen in months. “Can I n-name it?”

“No,” Hermione laughed, “you absolutely cannot.”

“Damn.”

Hermione smiled at Harry, feeling terribly fond of him suddenly. “Do you want kids? With Fred one day?”

“Fuck no,” Harry said with another mad laugh and a flash of pain in his eyes. “I’ve got no idea how to be a p-parent. I’d probably end up accidentally beating the hell out of it. I didn’t exactly have great role m-models to mimic, did I?”

“No,” Hermione admitted softly, pity she knew Harry would hate welling up inside of her. “I suppose you didn’t.”

Harry caught her eye, then averted his quickly and cleared his throat. “You can sleep with me, if you want,” he offered. “Lue and Sue do it all the time. Or I can walk you to the Ravenclaw Tower, or we can go curse Theo, a bit. W-whatever you want.”

“Not to curse Theo,” Hermione said hastily, knowing that if Harry said it, he would do it. “I’ll just- just give him some space for now... And I should sleep in my dorm. It looks bad for the Prefect to always be out of bed,” she joked weakly.

Harry ignored her attempt at a joke and got to his feet. “I’ll walk with you then.”

It was a quiet walk back to her tower. And when they reached the Ravenclaw entrance, Hermione looked Harry square in the eyes.

“If I didn’t think you would hate it, I would hug you,” she told him. “I love you, Harry. You’re a wonderful person.”

Hermione didn’t know if she imagined it, if it was a trick of the lights, or if it was real, but Harry’s eyes looked glazed for an instant before he jerked his chin in a nod and gave her a quick and twitchy sort of hug.

“I’m not,” he said quietly, “but I l-love you for saying it. You’ll be a great mum. Is...” Harry rubbed his eyes, pinched his arm hard enough to leave a red mark, and then squinted suspiciously at Hermione. “Dreaming or real?” he whispered.

“Real,” Hermione said, feeling her heart break a little. “This is real.”

“Right.” Harry sighed and gave Hermione a small pat on the shoulder. “Night Mione, love you.”

Harry sloped away before Hermione had a chance to respond.

“Goodnight, Harry,” she whispered to his back.



Hermione laid in her bed for a long time, sleep evading her as her mind kept whirling.

It kept whirling back to the same thing, over and over:

’I’ve got no idea how to be a parent... I didn’t exactly have great role models to mimic, did I?’

And Harry didn’t. Everyone knew, even if he didn’t admit it aloud, that Harry had been horribly abused. Harry had a terrible childhood up until he moved in with Snape...

... and so did Theo.

Theo wouldn’t admit it either, but Hermione knew why he moved in with Harry after their third year. She heard whispers about his boggart, she saw the scars, she knew his insecurities and his anxiety over touch. She knew that, as much as he hid it, Theo had a deeply rooted and innate fear of adult males.

It was why Professor Snape yelling had caused him to go pale and tap his leg.

It was why he never understood Hermione’s relationship with her dad.

It was why Theo and Harry were a closer pair of brothers than even Fred and George were—

They were two sides of a same badly abused coin.

And Harry was obviously terrified that he would pass his own childhood on to his child.

So... so what if Theo was as well?



Hermione walked to breakfast alone the next morning, moving on autopilot as she navigated through the corridors, through the double doors to the Great Hall, to the...

She froze as her eyes met Theo’s.

Theo, Draco, Ron, Trent, and Blaise were already seated together at the Slytherin table. Harry wasn’t there yet, but he’d been taking hour long showers in the morning where he cried in isolation and let the water hide the noise and the tears (nobody told her, but Hermione wasn’t stupid, she saw Harry’s red and puffy miserable eyes when he got out of the shower).

Draco smiled at Hermione, but she just nodded and sat rather stiffly at the end of the Ravenclaw table. She was close enough that she could hear the boys break in to quick conversation over this change, but not so close that she could make out individual words. She looked around unhappily at the deserted little area she’d claimed and felt her spirit sink even lower.

Just you and me, she thought down to the tiny clump of cells growing inside of her.

This is what she gets for not making friends within her own house.

Hermione pulled out her potions textbook, more to give herself something to do rather than any true desire to study, and hid her face behind it as her housemates cast her curious glances and gossiped over her.

“Can we sit here or is it a pity party for one?”

Hermione looked over the edge of her book and saw Neville and Susan standing in front of her. “You can sit,” Hermione told Susan with a grateful smile. “I thought- I assumed you’d want to sit with the boys.”

Susan snorted and began pulling platters of food towards them with a ‘keep talking and I’ll punch you’ look for the Ravenclaw’s who kept glancing at them. “The boys are a clique and sometimes I need girl time,” she told Hermione. “And Neville time, of course,” she added with a wink for Neville.

“Of course,” Neville rolled his eyes.

Hermione had been relieved as she sat with Susan and Neville and made normal conversation, the three of them acting as if the new seats were nothing unusual, until the doors opened once more and the sudden hush in the Great Hall meant Harry arrived.

“It’s P-P-Prison Potter,” Corner, an unpleasant prat of a Ravenclaw in their year, snickered quietly as Harry and Luna made their way to the Slytherin table. Hermione saw Harry’s white knuckled grip on Luna’s hand and once more felt pity for him swell up in her.

“Shut the fuck up,” she snapped down the table to Corner. “Or you can explain what that’s supposed to mean to Professor Snape in detention tonight.”

Hermione’s outburst quieted the other boys who had been laughing with Corner, and drew Harry’s eyes towards them. He stopped midway between the two tables and glanced between them quickly.

It was selfish, she knew it, but Hermione desperately wished that Harry and Luna would sit with her.

She got half of her wish after Harry whispered something to Luna. Luna immediately danced over to where Hermione sat and sat next to Neville with a smile.

Harry turned on his heel and stalked right out of the Great Hall, amidst cruel and mocking laughter from the Gryffindor table.

“He’s going to snap and kill them all soon,” Neville said thoughtfully. “Morning, Lue.”

“Morning,” Luna said softly. “Harry won’t kill them, but I do think that Seamus is going to end up having a terribly unpleasant accident soon. Oh, Hermione, Harry went outside to clear his head. Otherwise he would have sat here during breakfast, and with the boys at dinner.”

“That’s fine,” Hermione said hastily.

“What about lunch?” Susan asked as she glared over at the Gryffindor table and cracked her knuckles threateningly.

If Seamus had a ‘terribly unpleasant accident soon’, Hermione would bet it would be Susan who did it, not Harry.

“He’s not hungry,” Luna shrugged, not seeing the error in her statement.

Harry couldn’t skip breakfast and lunch- he was already too thin.

Luna slid a platter of food in front of Hermione though, reminding her with her knowing eyes that Hermione couldn’t skip meals either anymore.



“Soo... we aren’t talking about it?” Susan asked before they split up after the bell rang to signal the start of classes.

“About what?” Hermione yelped, a bit guiltily.

“Theo?” Susan asked.

“No, we aren’t,” Hermione said. “And I have potions, I’ll see you later.” She was part of the way down the corridor when she turned and gave Susan a friendly wave. “Thank you.”

“I loveeeee youuuuu, Hermioneeeee,” Susan sang loudly with her hands wrapped around her mouth.

Hermione blushed at Susan’s dramatics and dashed towards the dungeons.

For potions.

Where she was partnered with Theo.

And they were working on Amortentia.



Hermione sat quietly at her table, slicing, chopping, and crushing ingredients in the order that Theo needed them to be added to their potion.

He wouldn’t even look at her.

And the room was filled with his scent.

The fumes filling the room all smelled like old parchment, Theo’s cedarwood cologne, and a slightly sweet scent that Hermione couldn’t place but she adored.

“You have to crush the pearls in to a fine dust,” Theo murmured when Hermione slid him minced pearls. “Here, like this.”

He grabbed her crushing stone, brushing her fingers accidentally, and then stopped when it felt like tiny sparks flew between their fingers. Theo looked up at Hermione for the first time and Hermione could see in his eyes that he was just as unhappy as she was.

“Theo...”

“No,” Theo snapped quietly. “I can’t.”

Hermione bit her lip and nodded.

They didn’t speak again for the rest of the day, despite the fact that they shared all the same courses.

Even though she knew she shouldn’t, Hermione skipped lunch to sit in the library alone.

And, in a moment that made Hermione’s heavy heart lighten quite a bit, Harry relocated Hermione to the Slytherin table at dinner. Hermione, Susan, Neville, Luna, and Draco who wanted to sit by Luna, sat a few seats away from Theo, Ron, Blaise, and Trent, and Harry sat smack in the middle of the two groups.

“This is weird,” Harry murmured quietly. He gave Theo a curious look on one side of him, then Hermione a curious look on the other side.

It was Trent who answered his unasked question. “Super fucking weird,” he agreed cheerfully. “But not a dream.”



Hermione twisted her hands as she paced in the corridor outside Professor Snape’s office late that evening.

He said his door was always open, she argued with herself. For Theo, not you... just go to Madam Pomfrey.

But... he said you could come to him.

Hermione drew up her courage, knocked on the door, and stepped inside before she could change her mind.

“Professor Snape?”

Snape looked up from the journal he had been frantically scribbling in and closed it quickly. “Miss Granger,” he said evenly. “Please, have a seat.”

Hermione sat down and tried to relax despite the lump in her throat. “I’ve thought about it,” she said to the desktop. “I want to keep it.”

If Professor Snape had been surprised by that, he didn’t show it.

“I presume from Theodore’s absence that this was not a joint decision?”

Hermione kept her eyes on the desk and shook her head. “No, sir.”

“Aah.”

Hermione glanced up at Snape and saw a thoughtful look on his face. “It’s not his fault,” she said defensively. “He’s scared. He’s afraid we’ll die in the war and leave the baby without parents. And- and I think he’s scared to be a dad, he doesn’t know how. Nobody ever taught him. Sir,” she added hastily.

“Miss Granger,” Snape gave her a sarcastic looking smile, “I am not immune to the terror of parenting when you come from a lackluster childhood. You do not have to defend Theodore, I understand that he must be terrified.”

Hermione nodded firmly, then hesitated. “Did you have a lackluster childhood like Theo?” she asked curiously.

Hermione didn’t truly expect Professor Snape to answer such a nosy question. But he steepled his fingertips to his lips while he gave her a considering look. “I did,” he eventually said.

“But... how did you get past it, sir?” she asked quickly and a bit desperately. “You’ve been raising Harry for years now, so you obviously must have changed your mind, right?”

Professor Snape looked terribly amused by her question. “There is quite a difference between having a newborn infant and becoming a guardian to a teenager,” he said. “Harry and Theodore both were entirely independent beings with their own habits, thoughts, ideals, and identities when I took over their care. And, as you have seen for yourself, I am still capable of reacting quite poorly to them.”

“So... so you think Theo would be a bad dad?” she asked quietly.

“No.” Professor Snape’s face shifted from amusement to a more stern look. “I did not say that and you will never hear me say such a thing. I do not believe Theodore would make a poor father, though I can appreciate where his fear is coming from. Although, arguing and stressing out his pregnant girlfriend is an equally poor decision.”

“He wanted to get rid of it,” Hermione admitted guiltily. “We wouldn’t be fighting if I did the smart thing.”

“The logical thing does not mean the smart thing,” Professor Snape said patiently. “You are not stupid for making your decision. I will not lie to you, I believe it will be an incredibly difficult journey. However, I do not doubt that by the end of the term you will have a twenty step plan on how to achieve your goals while becoming a dedicated parent.”

Hermione smiled a little, touched that Professor Snape thought so highly of her. “Thank you, sir.”

Snape nodded. “Also,” he cleared his throat lightly and suddenly looked slightly uncomfortable, “Theodore’s decision is his to make, and mine are mine to make. First things first, have you told your parents?”

Hermione frowned and shook her head. “I... I’m not going back to their home, sir,” she admitted to someone for the first time ever. “I love them, but I won’t put them in danger.”

Snape looked curious now. “You are seventeen then?”

Hermione’s chin stuck out. “I am.”

“Very well,” he said. “I can appreciate why you would feel that way in the current climate. Perhaps when the war has ended, you will be able to introduce them to their grandchild.”

Hermione swallowed back tears and nodded.

She wouldn’t.

When the war ended, if Hermione lived to see it end, her parents would never remember having a daughter if her plan for summer went well.

“I will speak with Harry, when he is perhaps in a place to discuss such a decision, but I am certain that he would approve of you staying with us, regardless of your relationship with Theodore.”

“Thank you, sir,” Hermione said, struggling to maintain her polite and proper tone as she felt so weighed down now. “I told Harry last night, actually. He’s excited to be an uncle.”

“Is he?” Snape’s lips curled up to the half-smile he only wears when he discusses Harry, a terribly adorable habit that Hermione would rather die than admit. “Very well, then I presume Harry made it quite clear that you are not alone?”

“He did,” Hermione said. She folded her hands on her lap and gave Snape a grateful smile. “Thank you, sir.”

“Of course.” Snape opened his desk drawer and pulled out a small scrap of parchment. He slid it across the desk to Hermione. “I assumed that we would be having this conversation today. I took the liberty of scheduling an appointment for you with Madam Pomfrey tomorrow at 4:30. She will take over medical care while you remain at Hogwarts.”

Hermione held back a laugh at Professor Snape’s obvious discomfort. “Thank you, sir,” she said again, pocketing the little parchment. She got to her feet and realized that she felt lighter already. Just making the decision took such a weight off her chest. “For what it’s worth, sir, I think that Harry and Theo are lucky to have you.”



Severus inclined his head in acknowledgment and watched her walk towards the door with his thoughtful dark eyes. As soon as Granger left the room, Severus sighed heavily.

One terribly uncomfortable conversation down, one more to go, he thought as he got to his feet and went to track down Theodore.

***

Meals the next day were still painfully awkward as Hermione wouldn’t tell anyone why her and Theo weren’t speaking. Classes were just as painful as they had been the day before. And through it all, Hermione kept anxiously checking the time, waiting for four thirty when she needed to be in the Hospital Wing.

She wished she had time to look up what to expect before the appointment, but Wednesday’s were her busiest days. Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as she became too distracted by her notes and projects in class to worry about Theo or the appointment or the baby or anything aside from school.

Possibly her last year of school.



“Hermione, can we talk?” Theo asked as soon as they were dismissed from arithmancy at the end of the day.

“I...” Hermione checked the time and nodded. “Yes, let’s talk.”

Theo looked around quickly before ducking in to a nearby classroom. He waited until Hermione followed him in to shut the door and put up a privacy charm.

“Snape said you have an appointment today?” Theo said, shuffling his feet to get some space from Hermione while he tapped his leg anxiously.

“I do,” Hermione said with a hint of curiosity.

Did Theo want to talk because he thought she changed her mind?

She also felt her gratitude towards Professor Snape rise even higher. She didn’t know he talked to Theo, but if it led to Theo wanting to talk to her again, then it was just another thing on the long list of reasons that Professor Snape was her favorite professor in the school.

Theo nodded and didn’t say anything for a long time. Hermione just watched him silently, waiting for him to say what it was he wanted to say.

Eventually Theo took a deep breath and looked her square in the eyes. “May I come, please?”

“It’s for prenatal potions and to check to see if the baby is healthy,” Hermione said quietly, unsure if Snape told him what the checkup was for. “I’m still keeping it, Theo.”

Theo looked down at the floor and nodded again. “I know, Snape told me that too. I just... I think... I’m glad you’re keeping it. I just wish I could keep it too,” he said in a whisper. “I wish I could, but... but I can’t.”

Hermione felt her heart break all over again. “Why?” she asked. “If you want it, and I want it, why can’t we do it together?”

“Because I’ll hurt him!” Theo yelled abruptly. “He’s going to track dirt in our kitchen one day and I’ll snap and curse him! Or I’ll just hate him! I don’t know how to be kind! My life wasn’t like yours, Hermione, okay?” Theo looked up and then quickly averted his eyes away from Hermione’s.

“I know,” Hermione said. She took a hesitant step towards him, desperately wanting to hold him. “I understand.”

“How could you?” Theo laughed bitterly and shook his head. “I... I never really told you much about my father. He- he... it was bad, alright? And... he just had all these horrible ideas, and he was mean, and cruel, and...” Theo gave Hermione a quick look before turning back to the wall, “and if I didn’t move in with Harry when I did, I’d be dead. I know that. He would have went too far and I would be dead.”

“Theo...” Hermione reached for his hand, but he pulled it away.

“I’m not making excuses,” Theo said. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I should have talked about it, but...” Theo barely glanced at her, but she could see it.

The fear.

It was filling his eyes.

“I don’t know how to be a dad,” he said. “I know how to be cruel, I know the best places to curse a kid so the scars aren’t visible, I know how to make someone cry and wish they were dead, and that’s it.” He reached out and gently wiped a tear off Hermione’s cheek with his thumb. “I don’t want our baby to be at risk,” his voice choked up and he cleared his throat. “I don’t want to hurt it.”

“You won’t,” Hermione said. She reached up and grabbed his hand that was still on her cheek and held it there with her hand. “Think about it, Theo. Your father hated muggleborns, do you? He would never hang out with half-bloods or ‘blood traitors’, but you do. You’re already a better man than he was. You’re loyal, and brilliant, and kind, and-“ Hermione swallowed back a sob building in her chest, “-and you would make a wonderful father. But I can’t make you do anything. I made my decision, and you’re free to make yours. I’ll never hold it against you.”

“I’ll hurt him,” Theo whispered, stricken. “Love, I’ll hurt him on accident. I’ll get mad and I’ll hurt him.”

“Then I’d kill you,” Hermione said, squeezing his hand gently. “I don’t think you’ll hurt them (honestly why did Theo and Harry think it would be a boy?), but if you did, you’d only do it once.”

Theo didn’t look startled at all by Hermione’s threat promise, he looked relieved.

“Will you vow it?” he asked. “Vow that you’ll never let me near our baby again if I hurt him on purpose.”

“I won’t make an Unbreakable Vow, but I bet Harry will,” Hermione said with a hopeful smile. “He’s very excited to be an uncle.”

“You told Harry?” Theo groaned. He didn’t sound mad though so Hermione just nodded. “Is that why I woke up yesterday and he was glaring at me? I just thought that maybe he thought I was a ghost.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hermione grinned, “He wouldn’t think you’re a ghost, he’s the ghost.”

They laughed quietly then abruptly both cut off nearly simultaneously as they realized it wasn’t just a funny quirk Harry had, it was a genuine problem.

Hermione cleared her throat. “Besides, Harry is the godfather,” she told him.

Theo grinned at first, thinking it was a joke, until Hermione didn’t smile. “Harry?” he asked, his grin slipping away immediately. “Love, Harry is an actual psychopath suffering long-term mental damage from dementor exposure who believes he is a ghost being haunted by other ghosts. I’m not making him the godparent to our child.”

Hermione jabbed her finger in Theo’s chest and narrowed her eyes. “Harry is the godfather, if you don’t like it, too bad.”

“Harry will put our baby in a uniform and toss it in a battle against death eaters with a bloody handgun,” Theo hissed.

Hermione’s lips twitched just a little at the image before she shook her head. “Harry wouldn’t,” she said with much more confidence than she felt. “Harry would kill anyone who ever threatened our child. He’s the baby’s uncle, and he’s the godfather. If you don’t like it, perhaps you shouldn’t have been such an arse.”

“That’s mad,” Theo said. “Harry doesn’t even like babies.”

Hermione thought of Harry’s excitement when she told him he’d be an uncle and did smile at that image. “He likes his niece or nephew,” she said with actual confidence. “Are you still coming with me to go talk to Madam Pomfrey?”

Theo squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a moment before he opened them and nodded. “I am,” he said, just as steady and sure as he used to be. “Madam Pomfrey first, library second.”

“The library?” Hermione asked curiously.

Theo sighed and gave Hermione a look of fond exasperation. “It’s a baby, love. I don’t know a damn thing about them. We’re going to need to do research. Tons of research.”

Hermione’s heart filled with joy.

Everything’s going to be okay, she told the tiny thing growing inside of her.

Then Theo opened his mouth and said perhaps the stupidest thing Hermione ever heard.

“Er... should we- should we get married? Before it’s born?”

“Absolutely not,” she said. “There’s a muggle saying about people who rush marriage because they accidentally got pregnant. ‘Quick, let’s make it worse’.”

Theo laughed which made Hermione laugh.

And she thought perhaps this wasn’t the most illogical thing she’d ever done before. After all, she did join a gang. What was teenage pregnancy after that?

Chapter End Notes

Up Next:
An adventure filled trip to Nurmengard.



PS: I have traded Tonks’ canon pregnancy with the much more likely Themione pregnancy. I think Snape is waaaay too diligent and detail oriented to have an accidental pregnancy (unlike teenagers) so if you were worried about that, don’t be. (Which is a bit of a spoiler in a way, but also kind of not? I’m not saying that Hermione & Theo will die (I’m also not promising they’ll live) but I just mean that it’s a spoiler of ‘here’s what definitely isn’t going to happen’.)