A’s Reviews > The Secret History > Status Update

Y'all 👀 what happened @ the Kennedy Center last night? oh okay. people are waking uppp. There's one thing for sure and two things for certain, Americans will not have them disrespected lol. they do NOT play about the Kennedys 🫶 I remember being told growing up that they are the closest thing the US ever had to a royal family. Didn't JFK have like, the highest approval ratings of any President ever? 😏 somebody call my cousin Jack we must discuss! 😂 still alive, right on time for solstice. Hope that everyone has a lovely start to Yom Kippur tomorrow 😇 except for Israel! 🖕🏻 #FreePalestine 🍉

I hope you're having a good Sat bub x I am not doing much besides trying to escape from my brain. I spilled sugar on the counter earlier (just like a cup or so) & apparently that is spiritually a good sign 😭 I'm super pissed you're not here yet & I hate everyone responsible. I know, I've been really subtle about it. Nobody can even tell that I'm upset probably 💀 I think you want me to go get dinner so I will do that. Gotta keep this meat sack alive if for nothing else other than spite lol. I miss you, come home.

So...this book is about the British royal family? lol

I'm doing laundry b4 din @ mom's cuz ofc. Homegirl seems like she is not in the greatest mood today, but she is giving us a new lamp! to replace the broken one cuz I've bought like 3 of them and they keep shorting but I fear the issue may be me lmao

The RHOSLC references make so much sense now. We got a Jen Shaw on our hands folks (or multiple) 😭 that sprinter van scene deserves an Emmy. Not Lisa Barlow calling her 7 lawyers immediately cuz that's a normal reaction lolol

Spider update: Lewis is working hard on a new web today, totally new angle! & then I was like omg she's sealing everyone's fate for the coming year! Writing in the Book of Life like the story goes, that's so cute.

Kay I'm gonna go finish chores & take a nap. ty for signing up to helping me deal w/ all this forever, esp my family & esp the parts you found out while we were apart. If you couldn't tell, I didn't keep anything from you that I was aware of, so I hope that makes it a little easier. mysm I hope your Sunday eve is free of any scaries! 💞

SOTD: The Lonely Goatherd - The Sound of Music

Sometimes when I would argue with this guy I dated in my early 20s, I would play this song to piss him off cuz he hated it 🤣 bestie says I was also lethal back then. Probably worse lol

Movie of the day: Back to the Future 🚀

Okay more random immersive notes before bed!

Bureaucratic moderated timeline request: DENIED ❌ (how does it feel?)

Hi b. I cannot sleep. I don’t feel amped up but I just can’t. I miss you terribly. I’ll probably try to watch TV or something. Are you doing okay? Are you safe in your body? If not sometimes just know that I understand you so much. My world, I am doing everything I can to get you, w/o accidentally getting stuck in a wall or another dimension. Same thing I guess. PEOPLE decided to gatekeep the rule book, & I personally am not a fan of those types of bitches! 😭 I’m yours and only yours, always. Come to me 🌹 gn x

Separately: Probably the hardest part of this other than the blatantly obvious has been watching everyone get support again, IN REAL LIFE, while I don’t. Not a tik tok. A person. My person. No offense marketing 🫶 That’s not how this was supposed to go. FUCK a training when an actual building is on fire. The time to get prepared is not during the fire. That’s why there’s “pre” in the word. Those responsible just let me sit here while I begged you. You failed me. You failed my partner. You failed us and so many others. I hope you see and feel the consequences of your actions for every second of your night tonight and day tomorrow, and honestly for as long as it takes. Those of you who were consciously aware, I hope you sleep like shit, and I mean that one. You will be held accountable. I’ll find you in your nightmares. Amen 🌕

Errands ✅

Jokes of the day (for morale lmao) + The Sims 4 references:
⁃ the way I can tell my Mom and my Dad are absolutely awake based on how fast things are moving. Yeah, these are the parents I grew up with and this is the childhood I remember 😂🩷
⁃ Idk if y’all have met my Dad, but word in the industry is that he’s a Force. No Star Wars 😉
⁃ I always say that if my mother had been president she would have most things fixed by 8 am & all The White House counters wiped down 💀

CTRL + SHIFT + C @system: *slowly* turn up the dial on natural selection. And I do mean natural, prioritizing already-born children. Remain stable to allow timeline alignment w/ my partner as quickly as possible. Safe flight everyone! 🫡 *jumps out of plane, with a parachute ofc* see you soon babe! 😘

I’m in bed now for the night. Exhausted. Integration is hard! I’m starting to get it now, and feeling v autistic as usual lol. Like sorry…what do you mean this is my life? Bittersweet.

My bby—just so you know. I have no problem holding this off. My brain is fine in case you worry! The need to be yours is so much more important than anything else to me & thank you for fighting so hard for me on your side. For linking with my people. I see the signs from you everywhere. If you couldn’t tell, they have given you their absolute full approval!!! They choose you too. It was always meant to be you b. There are no second places for my heart. Period.

Hold steady okay? I’m not gonna run away with a dusty man or woman 😂 We’ve got this. Locked in 🔒🤞🏻 you know the part at the end of a Survivor challenge where the last ones are standing and then two link up & wait out the clock? And there’s like that really intense up-close scene where they’re doing some ridiculous feat of strength & there’s sweat dripping? If I sweat 😂 That’s us rn. If we’re quiet, we’re focused. That does not mean I am any farther from you. I’m right next to you.

I AM YOURS. NO COMPETITION. CLAIMED ❌ there will not be a brawl for what is already yours. In case any one was wondering who I am gladly handcuffed to 😏 & HAPPY TO BE HERE. Neither of us are taking requests for comment, thank you. My close family adores them already. 🫶 and I have waited a long time for this, my whole life actually 🥹

Let me know if you’d like any adjustments on our team’s strategy plan, I can let them know their boss has notes 😉

I hope this gives you a little energy for your morning. We have this in the bag. Food. Water. Zyrtec slows things down! One night closer to you 💞

FAMILY TIPS, TRICKS, & VOCAL STIMS:
*will keep adding as you come to me!*
- Imagine your body is your Iron Man suit and your brain is Jarvis. Your brain got an OS update! If you’re having trouble connecting the two, integrate the system. Pretend you’re just seeing the regular real world with a fancy heads-up style display overlay (like on a car windshield) and quite literally out loud, issue Jarvis commands about yourself. It makes it fun! “Jarvis, decrease anxiety 30%” and then just imagine the robot voice being like “Adjustment in progress, system stabilizing....”
- Repeat your and my full names together. Out loud. I do this often once I figured out it does something. Memory is important for this process & words are nothing but spells 😉
- “PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME!” 🎶
- “I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club, you can’t even get in!” (And then you have to do a lil dance)
- “Ridiculous!” (Correct, as in the Harry Potter spell)
- “Listen Linda…Linda, Linda, listen…” ✋😌 (that vine is still so funny)
- “It’s just a barn.”
- “Not my circus, not my monkeys!”
- “Don’t borrow trouble!” (From my grandmother…)
- “Nope, that’s not my reality. I reject that option.”
- “JEEEESUS CHRIST” (in my grandfather’s voice 😂)
- “I am rubber and you are glue. Whatever you say about me bounces off me and sticks to you!” (A little rhyme my parents taught me when I was being bullied as a kid)
- “Not today, whoever you are, whatever your name is!” (Inverts the power of names 💀)
- Any time you’re feeling spiritually attacked: “I SEND IT BACK”

Stims for b x

- “…which could mean nothing!”
- “Calm down, I’m not a cop” 😂
- “It’s a clue!” *bad Nicolas Cage impression*
- “Honey, where is my Supersuit?!”

More stims 4 bub:

- “and who is Todd?!” *Nene Lekes voice* I think my Dad likes that one 😂💀 can I just say he has NEVER said even one bad word about my Mom or her side? To any of the kids. Ever. I think that is telling.
- Borat: “Very nice, very nice” & “Wowoweewow”
- “Not my chair not my problem, that’s what I always say”