average human’s Reviews > All Hail > Status Update

It makes me feel as though I’m about to be scolded like a child and I have exactly no interest in submitting for that.
“I have more important things to do tonight than argue with you about some slut you’ve sold yourself to.”
His eyes narrow as he shuts the door behind himself, the room falling into darkness. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust but when they do, I find boxes stacked up everywhere and a pissed off man who looks as though he’d like to strangle me.
I know all too well what that looks like.
He steps forward until he’s crowding me into the wall and snarls at me, “I need you to stop being a child about this!”
I startle away from him. “A child? You think I’m being a child about the man that I have loved and craved and longed for just giving up on me and for what? For some misguided sense of self-sacrifice?”
His eyes narrow and he stalks forward. “Self-sacrifice? Really, Floss, you know better than that.”
I let out a deep breath and ignore the burning in the back of my eyes. I will never cry in front of this man again. “I don’t want a man who will give me up the second things get hard. My life has been nothing but difficult so far, Crow. I don’t expect that to change anytime soon and I only accept people who would kill for me. Every member of my family would bleed and shed blood for me… you’ve only ever proven you’d leave me for my own good. That’s not what I want.”
I turn on my heel and stalk towards the door.
Atticus Crawford has never, not once laid a hand on me.
I can count on one hand the amount of times he’s hugged me, I have enough fingers to tally up the times he’s brushed my hand with his own, so I’m not expecting him to grab me and stop me from leaving.
I’m certainly not expecting his hand to clamp down on my neck, spinning me around and forcing me into his arms before I even realize he’s touching me. His hand stays on my neck, holding me still as he leans down with fire in his eyes and breathes the words against my lips.
“I killed for you long before your brother did. I was bleeding out the buyers your father auctioned you off to before you made it to middle school. You think I walked into the Game clean? My hands were dripping with the blood of men who wanted to destroy you, Avery. Don’t you ever tell me I gave you up, I have never given you up. I’ve tried to give you a good life, if you don’t want that then you’re mine. No more coming to meetings with the Butcher draped all over you, no more dancing in the Bay with the Stag. You have my full attention. What are you going to do with it?”
I stare him down and it occurs to me that now he’s finally saying to me exactly what I always wanted.
That’s not what I want anymore.
I do want him… but I’m not going to give up Aodhan for him. I’m not going to stop being who I am just to have him.
I want more than that.
“It’s too late, Atticus. You should’ve taken me when you had the chance.”
His hand tightens around the back of my neck and I think if it were anyone else, I’d be panicking but I know Atticus Crawford, the Crow of Mounts Bay, better than I know any other man. He might have lied to me but I’ve always known who he is at his core.
I’m safe with him.
Too fucking safe, too protected, too far removed from the real world by his obsessive need to keep me breathing.
I don’t want safe anymore.
He sees it too, finally looks into my eyes and sees the real shift that’s happened between us. I think that scares him a little. I think he was always so sure of me and that bubble that both he and Ash put me in that he never really thought through what would happen if I wanted out.
I tip my head back slowly to stare him down.
His restraint just disappears, as if the tether holding it to him was cut. Now, I’m faced with nothing but the beast who hides in the luxurious suits. His hand finally moves away from my neck to clamp down on my shoulder and push me to my knees.
I refuse to let myself think about the state of my dress on this dirty floor.
He reaches for the zip of his pants slowly, like he’s waiting for me to punch him in the dick and run off screaming, “Is this want you want, Avery? I thought you didn’t kneel for anyone?”
I roll my eyes and hope he can see it. “Either do it or let go of me, Atticus, I have a gala to attend.”
He unzips and frees his cock, stroking his hand up and down right in front of my face.
I swallow roughly, deep breath, this is only what I’ve desperately wanted from him since I was old enough to know what the hell a blow job was. Now I just have to make sure it’s the best damn blow job of his life so he’ll never be able to have anyone else touch what’s mine.
“I’ll be gentle if you’re scared.”
I scoff at him but his words cut a little too close to home. “This isn’t the first dick I’ve sucked, Crawford, like I’d be scared of you.”
His eyes turn to slits, a hand clamps over my face and tilting my head back until he can look into my eyes as he fists his dick again, slapping it against my cheek. I look up at him and the cold steely gray of his eyes cuts into my soul.
I still want him.
Just as bad as I’ve always wanted him.
I guess I’m going to be doomed to be in love with a man who can’t give me what I want, no matter how hard I try to plead with him to accept who I am.
At least I’ll give him up knowing what he tastes like.
I open my mouth for him, my pussy drenched as he groans and moves his hand to cup my chin as he guides himself between my lips.
I suck him down until he moves his hand away and lets me do what I want. I push further and further until he’s hitting the back of my throat, sucking and humming until he grunts and starts to move his hips subconsciously, driving his cock into me until I’m wet at the thought of him driving into my pussy the same way.
There’s a knock at the door.
“Fuck. Off.” Atticus snarls as I push at his hips, just enough that his cock pops out of my mouth and I can breathe.
My eyes slide over to the door, the sounds of the other guests talking out there a distraction. I don’t want anyone walking in and seeing me like this, down on my knees at Atticus’ feet, his zipper down and his dick still wet from my mouth.
I swallow but the voices get louder, and when I hear Luca’s voice join the mix, I try to stand up only for Atticus’ hand to clamp down on my shoulder.
“The door is unlocked.” I snap, but his mouth stretches into a smirk.
“Do you want it or not?”
He’s calling my bluff.
He still thinks I’m going to stand up and bitch him out, slap him and storm out of here so that he can go back to pretending that ignoring me is for my own safety.
Well he’s not expecting me to stand up and he’s definitely not expecting me to lean back on the wall behind me, slipping a hand into the high slit of my dress and dipping two fingers into my own pussy. My eyelids drop until I can barely see him but at this point, I’m an expert at getting myself off so there’s no helping the reaction my body has.
When I look up through my eyelashes at him, his dick is throbbing as his hand slowly strokes over the length, and the way he’s holding his breath speaks to just how little control he really has.
“Well? Do you want it or not?” I echo his own words back to him on a low moan, and I watch as the tethers of his restraint snap. He surges towards me, trapping my body against the wall with his, one hand on the either side of my head as his chest starts to heave.
He speaks between gritted teeth, “You really want to do this in a dirty storage room? You really want your first time to be here? You’re better than this, Avery.”
I almost choke on the words but there’s no hiding it from him and I can tell myself I’m just trembling from the way his hips are grinding my own hand into my clit until I’m desperate for more. “This isn’t my first time. Fuck me.”
His eyes flare out, and in the blink of an eye his hand is back on my neck squeezing a little as he presses me into the wall with the bulk of his body. It’s been years since I’ve seen him out of a suit and it’s not until he’s pinning me here that I realize just how big he really is.
I realize the restraint he must be showing every time Ash takes a swing at him.
Even with my heels I’m nowhere near tall enough so he has to lean down to snarl in my face, “Who the fuck touched you? You told me you broke up with Rory and never said a word about anyone else? Tell me.”
I’d rather die than tell him about Aodhan.
There’s the tiniest bit of guilt in the pit of my stomach but I’m selfish and ignore it. At some point I need to stop doing what’s best for everyone else and just do exactly what I want to do.
Aodhan and I haven’t even talked about what we’re doing and I’ve wanted this for longer than I can remember so I’m not going to let anything risk this moment.
I lean up the little bit I can until my lips brush against his, an echo of my own trauma that I’m going to replace in my mind, and whisper, “Fuck me or fuck off. I’m over this little bout of foreplay you’re so intent on having.”
A very not-Atticus-like snarl rips out of his throat and the hand at my throat tightens a little before it drops away and my heart drops.
Of course, he’s going to stop.
Of course, he was the one bluffing.
He moves back and right when stupid, useless tears start to fill my eyes he bends down to grab the long panels of my dress that fall to the ground and he rips until the split tears open all the way up to my stomach.
I’m too shocked to move my hands but he’s too focused on taking what he wants to notice my jaw dropping as he grabs my wrists and yanks my hands away from my pussy. He doesn’t hesitate to replace my fingers with his own and when there’s no resistance or so much as a flinch for me another snarl rips out of his throat.
I wasn’t lying to him about my virginity.
Again, I think that he might just turn around and leave but he doesn’t, he swoops down to kiss me deep and raw, biting at my lip like he’s trying to punish me. I can count on one hand the amount of times he’s kissed me too and none of those times were like this, this feels like a claiming and a branding, like he’s desperate to burn the touch of any other man right out of my body.
His fingers are just a little too skilled for me, jealousy flooding me as he crooks his fingers inside me to find my g spot with the type of ease that only comes from practice but the pleasure flooding through me is too distracting to think about that stuff right now.
I might just hunt those women down though, destroy their lives in a fit of rage.
My pussy is weeping by the time I come, squeezing down on his fingers as my legs threaten to give out.
Before I come down from the high, he bends down again to hook his arms around my legs and lift me up into his arms, slamming my back into the wall as he finally pushes his thick cock into me, my pussy gripping him like it never wants to let him go.
It’s not painful like the last time but it’s tight, like I’m too full of him, and my legs tense around him as I wait for it to start to hurt when he moves.
It doesn’t hurt. Not at all, not even when he slams into me like he’s trying to punish us both for this entire mess of a night. His pelvis keeps grinding against my oversensitive clit and it doesn’t take much to push me over the edge again, a scream ripping out of my throat that he barely manages to muffle with his lips.
He kisses me like we’re both dying even as his hips snap into me, not slowing at all when he finally comes, grunting and biting my lips so hard we both taste blood.

He holds me there for a second as he catches his breath, his forehead pressed against mine, then he slowly lets my legs drop back down to the ground, the drop is even further thanks to my hells being kicked God knows where in this tiny room.
He steps away from me to fix his pants, my skirt dropping be to place and if it weren’t for the stream of his cum dripping down my legs you’d barely be able to tell that the love of my life just fucked me raw while his men stood outside and listened.
Oh God.
It’ll be the second time Luca will know all of the sordid details of my sex life.
“Tell me who the fuck touched you.”
My neat freak ways come in handy and I make a mental note to stop having unprotected sex with men in public as I use a wet wipe from my purse to clean myself up. Oh God.
“It’s none of your business. You didn’t want me, what does it matter?”
He grabs my wrist and pulls me until I’m pressed against his chest again. “I will find him and I will kill him, Avery. I…”
I arch an eyebrow at him. “I thought you didn’t care? I thought you were protecting me, not saving me for yourself? If you have regrets then it’s your responsibility to live with them. I have none.”
I snap the door open and find Luca leaning against the far wall, a blank look on his face but his eyes still trace over the state of me. I glance down and find two very obvious patches on my knees.
God fucking dammit.
I need to find Illi and get out of here.

ILLI DOESN’T SAY a word to me the entire drive home but I’m sure it must be killing him to keep quiet.
I don’t know why he’s kept his mouth shut for me but I appreciate it. I feel just as spaced out and weird as the last time I had sex, like something major has happened in my life and I’ve lost another of the tethers keeping me from floating away. When I catch myself thinking that I desperately want to slam my head into the dash of Illi’s car.
Have I lost my mind?
When we stop at the last set of stoplights before the gated community my ranch is in, Illi turns to me and says in a low tone, “O’Cronin is waiting for you back at your place. Is that okay or should I call him and tell him to leave?”
Well, that settles it.
Illi knows exactly what happened in that storage room with Atticus and he could potentially call Lips and tell her right now. Lips could tell Ash and then everything is going to blow the hell up.
“Avery, stop looking at me like a guilty teenager. I’m not fucking saying a word, I’m just asking if you need me to cut O’Cronin loose because I will. I’d rather do that then break his fucking neck if he decides to be stupid about this.”
It’s sweet but I’m not one to dance around something like this. Besides, Aodhan has become my safe place for this sort of thing and if he wants to get angry at me for having sex with Atticus when we’re not even technically dating then I don’t want to be friends with him… or whatever the hell it is that we’re doing.
Dating maybe?
Does it count as dating if you never really do anything or ever talk about what is going on but there’s a heap of touching and sexual tension?
I need Lips and I need some girl talk, even if she is the worst at it.
I shake my head at him and he looks like he wants to talk about it some more but the car behind us starts blaring their horn and he has to focus on the road some more.
I argue with him about walking me into my house but Illi is nothing but a gentleman with me, opening the car door and unlocking my front door for me. He calls out to Aodhan too but I hightail it for the staircase, intent on scrubbing the night away from me.
I’m not ashamed… except for the part where it still wasn’t enough for Atticus to really accept me and want me for who I am, not the perfect image of a girl he has in his head.
I empty my purse out on the bed and then I stalk into the bathroom, throwing it in the bin, followed by my shoes.
There’s no way I could wear them again after this.
I don’t even want to look at them.
I’m too busy in my own head to even notice that Aodhan has followed me up here, that whatever Illi said to him didn’t make him run out of here screaming into the night never to look back again, until he gently takes my wrist and turns me around to face him.
I’m not sure if I’m relieved he’s still here or pissed that I now have to deal with the consequences of my night.
He doesn’t say a word, just slowly looks over every inch of me, takes everything in until my skin begins to crawl.
My voice sounds strange even to my own ears as I say, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
His hand reaches out and touches the top of the thigh split on my dress and I look down. There are threads loose there from where Atticus tore it up my body and out of the way, and suddenly I feel dirty.
I will not cry.
Aodhan doesn’t speak either. I don’t even think about what’s right or wrong, I just strip out of the dress and throw it into the bin in the bathroom. The mirror there isn’t kind to me but I stare at every inch of my skin on show, assessing and finding myself wanting. The silicone bra is a fucking nightmare to get off and my feet feel as though I’ve been standing in glass all day.
I stumble into the shower and let the scalding water drench my skin.
“If that motherfucker hurt you, I’m calling Illi and taking his fucking fortress on. I’m sure we could take the suits out.”
I choke on a sob. “He didn’t. We had sex but I wanted to… even if that’s not a smart thing to do and now here I am, telling you about it so I’ll lose you too.”
It just slips out of me, that little bit of hope that I have that all of this touching and flirting and cheek kissing means something so I tense up while I wait for him to cut me down. God, even if he did want me, I’ve just given him the best opportunity to walk out of her and forget about me.
He opens the shower door and reaches in to turn the heat of the water down with a scowl. “Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you should boil to fucking death in there.”
I glance down and find my skin way past rosy red and into that bright lobster shade that my OCD tendencies loves so much. “I need to get clean.”
His eyebrows draw together and his voice dips low. “Then grab some fucking soap. Stop hurting yourself over some motherfucker who doesn’t deserve you and don’t worry about something as stupid as me leaving. You think I don’t know you love him? You think that shit will scare me off? Queenie, nothing affects you and me except you and me. He’s not going to ruin this for us, get that through that gorgeous head of yours.”