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“I love you,” he said, and it felt like a phrase he’d uttered a thousand times even though I’d never heard it before. He said it like it was a part of a grocery list, like it was greeting, and a good night, and a promise all in one.

He began to hum to the music inside-and I recognized it, finally.
It was the starlings’ melody.
“Come on, Eileen.”

A part of me wondered if I should just get in my car and go. I would just be a chapter in his life, anyway, perhaps not even that. But it was a good chapter. A lovely paragraph. A blissful mention.

-before I curled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them.
“I just want to stay,” I muttered to the empty loft, but the only answer was silence.”

“Year after year after year, books that ferried me through heartbreak and hope and those terrible nights after Liam left. They were words that tucked me into bed at night when I was alone, they were words that played the soundtrack of my heartbreak, the what-ifs, the second-guesses, the nights I sat alone and wondered, Why not me?”

“You didn’t-you didn’t give your car to Frank to fix mine, did you?”
“You have people waiting out there for you,” he replied, and that was all the answer I needed.

“it’s just a dream, though. I doubt any bank would loan me that kind of money.”
“It’s a good dream,” he replied finally. “I’d be first in line.”
I smiled at him, because that was kind.

“And she knew it would work every time, because I always caved if it was something she wanted to do. I could put my wants and needs on the back burner and I’d grin and bear it and go on adventures with her. It felt better, anyway, then thinking about my own life. If I could just live in her glow, bask in it forever, I thought that would be enough.
And for a long time, it was.”

eileen talking abt her bsf 💔

“The little shit chased us across the entire field. In the middle of the night.” I took down a pot and started to fill it with water, my gaze a thousand miles away. “I still can’t walk through a field at night without hearing the ghost of a neigh.”