Jade’s Reviews > Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly > Status Update
Jade
is on page 94 of 312
“Amoebas, however, are transferred most easily through the handling of raw, uncooked vegetables, particularly during the washing of salad greens and leafy produce. So think about that next time you want to exchange deep tongue kisses with a vegetarian.”
I’ve gotta start washing my produce properly.
— 14 hours, 3 min ago
I’ve gotta start washing my produce properly.
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Jade’s Previous Updates
Jade
is on page 58 of 312
“I had had, for some time, a romantic if inaccurate view of myself as some kind of hyperviolent, junkie Byron… The most romantic thing I had done in two years was to chop down about an acre of Vassar's lilacs one night with my sword, so that I could fill my girlfriend's room with the blossoms.”
Add that to the list of things that would work on me I fear.
— Oct 11, 2026 06:15AM
Add that to the list of things that would work on me I fear.
Jade
is on page 38 of 312
“And I had my first oyster.
Now, this was a truly significant event. I remember it like I remember losing my virginity—and in many ways, more fondly.” (LMFAO).
this reading session occurred against a backdrop of three men playing cod zombies with no headphones so you know i was locked in.
— Oct 11, 2026 12:14AM
Now, this was a truly significant event. I remember it like I remember losing my virginity—and in many ways, more fondly.” (LMFAO).
this reading session occurred against a backdrop of three men playing cod zombies with no headphones so you know i was locked in.
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13 hours, 55 min ago
And by properly i lowkey mean in general #bad
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