thrifty’s Reviews > Breaking Dawn > Status Update

Ah yes she’s is the most effortless and perfect Mormon—vampire they’ve ever known. She was most definitely born to be a Mormon—vampire. Lol

Ope. It happened. 🐺 🫵🏻 👶 also finally we’re fucking back in Bella’s pov

Did Jacob just say the sound of the expensive car’s engine almost made him moan?

Explain to me why Jacob doesn’t end up with Leah? They both have a very similar history with the person they love. Leah doesn’t take his bs and tells him how it is. Like Stephanie…come on. If you wanted to prove that the imprinting thing isn’t romantic, why didn’t we give Jacob another love interest? Genuinely.

Leah also called herself menopausal lol which whatever…but it’s just weird to mix that in with ‘maybe she’s not as female as she should be’ as if being a ‘whole female’ is mostly dependent on one’s ability to have kids 😷

Also Jacob thought ‘maybe she’s not as female as she should be’ to explain why Leah can’t imprint & that she probably can’t conceive or at least can’t pass on the werewolf gene.does that mean Ratatouille can pass on the werewolf gene?

Oh so we’re confirming that imprinting is ab who you can procreate best with (idk how that works w/ Ratatouille)💀

It’s hilarious to me that so much of this book is from a guy’s perspective and not the literal pregnant person to which everything is revolving around. So telling🤦‍♀️

Yall

And now we’re hating on and discounting IUI and IVF as invalid forms of having a child and that’s just ‘some generic kid, and not any random baby will be good enough’ my flabbers r gasted

Holy fuck this is fucked up

Edward is telling Jacob that he can try changing Bella’s mind by promising to Bella that she can have Jacob’s ‘puppies’ (his words, not mine) if she still wants kids that badly. I’m telling ya’ll, these two dudes are obsessed with each others bedroom habits in a way no sane person can see as straight.